i'ms so sorry for how you feel. i've been there myself. i started with knee pain in march of 07 and pregressed to my ankles ,knees, back, neck, toes and hands. a year ago i was crawling around in pain if i was lucky. my pain started 2 months before my son was born. helping to care for him was too painful. it took me 1.5 years to get a firm AS diagnosis and 6 months after that to find some relieve. my journey to me to 3 genrel docs, 2 osteo specialist and 3 rheums. the third rhuem was the charm. some one who took the time to understand my problem and care. she tried several meds and final got to tnf blockers, which worked like a charm.
hang in there, its a tough road but there are good time to come.
dont be too proud for depression meds, it saved my life and sanity.
please dont give up, there must be something that can help your condition. enbrel worked for me.
Are there other rheumatologists in the area that you could try? I have Crohn's with arthritis so I understand the importance of having a doctor you can really talk to and one that is willing to work with your GI. I don't start a new arthritis treatment without talking to my GI to make sure it's OK with him and, so far, they have agreed on my treatment options. That being said, even though my rheumy is great, they don't always have a definite answer when you have arthritis with IBD. Mine is just referred to as "Crohn's related arthritis" and I don't get a definite answer on some things I ask, simply because neither of them know. For example, my Crohn's is in remission but the arthritis is kicking my butt right now...why? No one can really answer that.
I don't think I would trust a rheumatologist who won't put you on Anti-TNF meds. They usually try cheaper medicines first but, with UC, you'll have to be careful what meds you take. A lot of the arthritis and pain meds really hurt my stomach. If your doctor isn't sensitive to your special needs due to UC, find a new doctor, if you have that option. Good luck!