A thought provoking question

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_Christina
Veteran Member


Date Joined Feb 2007
Total Posts : 553
   Posted 3/8/2009 6:41 PM (GMT -7)   
So, here is a question worth thinking about.
 
What answer do you give to yourself when you think "Why me?"  I know everyone has asked it of themselves at least once. What do you tell yourself?
What about what you tell other people when they ask "Why you?"  Do you give them a diffrent answer than you give yourself?  Why?
Do you give a scientific answer, or do you have another idea why you may or may not have been picked out for this particular trial in life?
 
 
I would really like to know what your answer to this is.  My answer keeps changing according to my mood and what I think the listoner can handle hearing.  I think I would like to create a standard answer that is better than I have been using.  I don't think I have a good one. 
 
 
Christina
 
Current medications:
Bipolar treatment-Lamictal, 200mg, Mood stabelizer, daily(main side effect: brain fog) Bipolar treatment-Cymbalta, 40mg, Antidepressant, daily(main side effect: GI upset, decreased clotting, insominia) Anemia, Fatigue treatment- Iron supplement, 65mg, daily(main side effect: constipation) Insominia treatment- Ambien, 10mg, daily(main side effect: amnesia eppisodes between taking pill and falling asleep) Mania treatment- Alprazolam, .25mg, Very rarely(main side effect: fatigue, slowing of thoughts, depression of CNS, can't take ambien or vicodin when on it) RA treatment- Plaquenil, 400mg, daily(main side effect: GI upset, decreased clotting) RA treatment- Methotrexate, 25mg, 1X weekly(main side effects: hair loss, stomach upset, mouth sores, sore muscles, fatigue, brain fog, compromised immune system, decreased Folic Acid absorption) GI upset treatment- Leucovorin Calcium, 10mg 1x weekly(main side effects: ?) Folic Acid defintioncy- Folic Acid, 1mg, daily(main side effects: ?) RA treatment- Prednisone, 8mg(and decreasing...)daily(main side effects: increased manic eppisodes, constipation, brain fog, bone density degeneration, compromised immune system) Multi-mineral Supplement (main side effects: constipation, GI upset) Constipation treatment- Docusate Sodium, 200mg, daily(main side effects:?) pain control- Motrin, 800mg, PRN Q6hours daily(main side effects: GI upset, decreased clotting) Pain Control- Vicodin, 5-500mg, PRN Q12hours regularly (main side effects: brain fog, fatigue)
 
 
 
 


sjkly
Veteran Member


Date Joined Dec 2007
Total Posts : 2113
   Posted 3/8/2009 7:38 PM (GMT -7)   
I always just say you have to play the hand you are dealt.

And yup that is basically what I have told myself for years as well. In fact most of the time I have mild disease and I am more thankfull for that then upset about having RA.

Red_34
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2004
Total Posts : 23423
   Posted 3/9/2009 7:22 AM (GMT -7)   
I have Ulcerative Colitis and in the beginning I did the why me's - that was 16 years ago. Now that never even enters my mind and I tell myself it is what it is. Then I get another whammy by being diagnosed with arthritis. Granted I may not have it as bad as many of you but I started again with the why me's. I am having a hard time getting my head wrapped around the whole idea of me having arthritis and being even more limited in what I can and can't do. I really am a very upbeat, positive and optimistic person so I try not to let these things get me down. I try to enjoy everyday as it comes. And if I am having a bad day, that is ok too - I let myself have that bad day and the next day I pick up the pieces and start again. I find that if I do the why me's that it makes my mood darken and I have been in a very bad place before and I really choose to not go there again. So I am trying to opt the attitude I have with my Uc - it is what it is.
 @--->--SHERRY--<---@
Moderator for Allergies/Asthma and Co-moderator for UC
~Left sided Uc-'92-Colazal(9 daily),6mp(50-100mgs),Bentyl, Prilosec,Biotin,Forvia,Pro-Bio**Unable to tolerate Asacol, Rowasa or Canasa**~Year-round allergies-Singulair, Zyrtec~Secondary Reynauds Syndrome-'04-Norvasc~Sacroiliitis-epidural injections~bulging and herniated discs C5/C6 & C6/C7~3 epidural injections-second series starts 2/17, OA in my fingers -Celebrex, Tylonel Arthritis and Voltaren Gel
To help Healingwell - click here: DONATE
 
 
 
 

 
 


jujub
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Mar 2003
Total Posts : 10392
   Posted 3/9/2009 7:26 AM (GMT -7)   
 
What answer do you give to yourself when you think "Why me?"  I just think "Why not?" There's no reason for me to have the conditions I have, but also no reason for me not to be the one who got them. They don't run in my family, I haven't done something silly to cause them, they just are.
 
What about what you tell other people when they ask "Why you?"  Do you give them a diffrent answer than you give yourself?  Why?
Interestingly enough, no one has ever asked me this. I think they're just really busy being glad it's me instead of them.
 
I have inflammatory arthritis and ulcerative colitis, by the way. 

Judy
 
Moderate to severe left-sided UC (21 cm) diagnosed 2001.
Avascular necrosis in both shoulders is my "forever" gift from Entocort.
Colazal,  Remicade, Nature's Way Primadophilus Reuteri. In remission since April, 2006.
"My life is an ongoing medical adventure"
 
Co-Moderator UC Forum
Please remember to consult your health care provider when making health-related decisions.


koi collector
Regular Member


Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 35
   Posted 3/9/2009 8:34 AM (GMT -7)   

I've had AS for almost 2 years now and i don't know if I've ever asked why me. i've asked 'how am i gonna keep going", 'how am i gonna work", 'how am i gonna help with my son", "what can i still do that i enjoy in life". I am heavy into biking and gardening, not good friends with arhtritis. After 1.5 years of no good answers I final found the right meds and I can continue living. so i'm going full steam ahead and not looking back. I got a second chance and I'm not gonna waste it.

when others asked something like that question i usually gave them the scientific answer. i didn;t depress me as much. it felt less personal that way.

AS sucks!!!


pr glo
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2008
Total Posts : 78
   Posted 3/9/2009 9:31 AM (GMT -7)   
Of Course we All Say Why Me especially dependent of your mood for the day lately I'm sa
ying why me a lot lately because I am sooooo tired of being exhausted and in pain not being able to do easy things like opening a jar, cleaning anything even washing clothes my hands hurt just to pick up clothes I have no energy, Upset beacuse I am soooo moody because of all of this and my kids get the brunt of it I feel horrible and of course my Husband  is no help he doesn't understand he thinks I'm just being Lazy.I'm also pissed at my Rheumatologist I have been on sooo many meds for over a year for psoratic arthritis and I still feel the same sometimes I feel like just stopping all the meds I don't feel any better. I don't let anyone else what I'm going through not even my Husband because he could care less I just internalize everything and cry at night when I'm alone My Friend's call me and say well why didn't u call me and tell me what's up I could come over and clean for u I just don't want to be a burden on any one I feel if My Husband who should be the first to care and do for me and doesn't why bother any one else. PR Glo 

yellowfin43
Regular Member


Date Joined Aug 2008
Total Posts : 305
   Posted 3/9/2009 3:04 PM (GMT -7)   
I'm usually the most crippled looking guy in the restaraunt or the store or wherever I go and I used to think it was because I was the most crippled guy anywhere. What I finally realized is this, I was the most crippled guy still willing to get out and participate in life. My arthritis causes me alot of pain most days and I have to admit, sometimes I do stay in because the pain outweighs the benefit but I started telling myself and others that God is using me as an example to others. That if I can do it so can anyone. If a normal person woke up one morning feeling like I do everyday they would be rushing to a hospital to find out what they are dying from. But I've grown used to it over time and realize this is just the way my life was meant to be but it's not going to keep me from limping down to a pond to feed the fish or miss the fireworks on the 4th of July. I have slowed down but Im not going to stop. I just wish more women found athritis sexy. I miss being sexy. LOL. Tony
Crohns 30 years. Ileostomy for 15 years. Symptom free for 14 years until 6 months ago. Now on Remicade and iron. Feeling like a champ!
God Bless. Tony


nuttynurse25
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2008
Total Posts : 35
   Posted 3/9/2009 5:40 PM (GMT -7)   
I have ra..I ask myself that queation. why me?  I answer myself.. there is whole lot worst things that could happen..people ask me How do you feel about having ra..I say the same thing..things could be worst...Try to convince myself ..Usually works..nutt

_Christina
Veteran Member


Date Joined Feb 2007
Total Posts : 553
   Posted 3/9/2009 7:13 PM (GMT -7)   
Thanks for the reply's. Keep it going.........
 
 
Christina
 
Current medications:
Bipolar treatment-Lamictal, 200mg, Mood stabelizer, daily(main side effect: brain fog) Bipolar treatment-Cymbalta, 40mg, Antidepressant, daily(main side effect: GI upset, decreased clotting, insominia) Anemia, Fatigue treatment- Iron supplement, 65mg, daily(main side effect: constipation) Insominia treatment- Ambien, 10mg, daily(main side effect: amnesia eppisodes between taking pill and falling asleep) Mania treatment- Alprazolam, .25mg, Very rarely(main side effect: fatigue, slowing of thoughts, depression of CNS, can't take ambien or vicodin when on it) RA treatment- Plaquenil, 400mg, daily(main side effect: GI upset, decreased clotting) RA treatment- Methotrexate, 25mg, 1X weekly(main side effects: hair loss, stomach upset, mouth sores, sore muscles, fatigue, brain fog, compromised immune system, decreased Folic Acid absorption) GI upset treatment- Leucovorin Calcium, 10mg 1x weekly(main side effects: ?) Folic Acid defintioncy- Folic Acid, 1mg, daily(main side effects: ?) RA treatment- Prednisone, 8mg(and decreasing...)daily(main side effects: increased manic eppisodes, constipation, brain fog, bone density degeneration, compromised immune system) Multi-mineral Supplement (main side effects: constipation, GI upset) Constipation treatment- Docusate Sodium, 200mg, daily(main side effects:?) pain control- Motrin, 800mg, PRN Q6hours daily(main side effects: GI upset, decreased clotting) Pain Control- Vicodin, 5-500mg, PRN Q12hours regularly (main side effects: brain fog, fatigue)
 
 
 
 


Raven67
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 155
   Posted 3/9/2009 9:36 PM (GMT -7)   

Hi all,

Hope you don't me adding my two cents.  i haven't been on in a while but frequently read posts.  This is a good topic!  I don't often ask why me basically because I blame myself for most of whats wrong.  I've been about 35 pounds overweight forever and I tend to blame everything on my weight. 

I do know that I get very tired of fighting this everyday.  The pain and fatigue is debilitating. It saps me of all energy.   There are many days where I probably sleep 12 + hours.  I feel like my life has completely spun out of control. 

Anyway, I am getting way off topic.  But feeling pretty down these days.

 

Gentle hugs to everyone,

 

Raven


When you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on!!!!
 
Current Diagnosis- DCIS, Rheumatoid Arthritis, Insulin Dependent Diabetes, Osteoarthritis right knee, Osteoporosis. Stress!!!!!!  New diagnosis of Fibromyalgia 04/08
Current Meds-Methotrexate 24mg s/c weekly, Plaquenil 200 mg BID, Celebrex, Folic Acid daily, Cesamet1 mg @ bedtime, Oxycontin 20 mg 3 x day, Lorazepam 2 mg dly Actonel weekly, Insulin-Humalog 35 units TID and Lantus 40 units BID, Calcium, Vitamin D  Arava 20mg daily


aimsgirl16
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Jun 2008
Total Posts : 1469
   Posted 3/10/2009 5:19 AM (GMT -7)   
It took me a long time to accept that I was diagnosed with Lupus. Even with the pain and the join inflamation I refused to except it. Then when it got so bad I couldnt make it to work or get out of bed or something as simple as getting out of the bath tub by myself I started asking myself why me? The only reason I can come up with is it is preparing me for something in the future. Maybe to help a friend that is newly diagnosed or when I feel better be a advocate for Lupus.
 I have never had people ask me why you. The comment that drives me crazy is "you are too young for this." I mean what is someone supposed to say to that comment? In all reality I am not too young, there are kids of all ages in the hospital with diseases that are life threatening.
This is a great topic! Great Idea Christina

Amy

 

21 years old...Systemic Lupus 11/07, lupus nephritis 01/09, raynoids 03/08, Carpal Tunnel 03/08

Ultram, Prednisone, Cell-Cept, Lisinopril, Imuran, Ambien, Flexeril, Darvocet, Ferrious Sulfade, Calcium, Vitamin B12, Chantex, Aspirin 81 mg, Vitamin C


Red_34
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2004
Total Posts : 23423
   Posted 3/10/2009 5:39 AM (GMT -7)   
Amy, I get that too all the time. "You are too young to be so sick!" It's very annoying isn't it? My response is "Well tell that to my body then" LOL I got sick when I was 22 and now I'm 39 but I look like I'm still in my 20's so I STILL get that comment until they find out how old I really am then they're like "Oh...." :)
 @--->--SHERRY--<---@
Moderator for Allergies/Asthma and Co-moderator for UC
~Left sided Uc-'92-Colazal(9 daily),6mp(50-100mgs),Bentyl, Prilosec,Biotin,Forvia,Pro-Bio**Unable to tolerate Asacol, Rowasa or Canasa**~Year-round allergies-Singulair, Zyrtec~Secondary Reynauds Syndrome-'04-Norvasc~Sacroiliitis-epidural injections~bulging and herniated discs C5/C6 & C6/C7~3 epidural injections-second series starts 2/17, OA in my fingers -Celebrex, Tylonel Arthritis and Voltaren Gel
To help Healingwell - click here: DONATE
 
 
 
 

 
 


momto3
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2006
Total Posts : 1331
   Posted 3/10/2009 8:42 AM (GMT -7)   
I used to say why me and then I just got used to it after a few years of realizing the RA is not going to go away. However, I also have gastroparesis (stomach paralysis) and I do have days when I think, why another issue to deal with, and always having to eat mushy foods, really got me down several times, that and the RA sometimes are just too much! But I have a wonderful supportive family and that does help so much.

Baybreeze
Regular Member


Date Joined Oct 2005
Total Posts : 315
   Posted 3/11/2009 1:58 PM (GMT -7)   

Hi,

Well, when I was young (before being diagnosed with lupus, but suffering through flares of all sorts of symptoms), I always used to ask "why me". I also used to get depressed about what was happening to me. But then when my flares ended, I just went on with life hoping it wouldn't happen again. But of course, they always came back at some point.

Then suddenly in 2003 I started getting low back pain for the first time in my life, even though I was very active and fit. I thought maybe I was overdoing things and slowed down a bit for a while..and my back pains would come and go. But over time, each time I had a pain flare, it would last longer and get worse. I would have to decline going out with friends many times because I just was in too much pain, but of course, they did not understand.

Then by 2006 I was hardly able to walk at all anymore. Whatever was going on in my back had progressed drastically and again, I used to ask "why me". Well, after an MRI, it was found I had severe lumbar stenosis, DDD, and spinal arthritis. I was to the point that I had almost no quality of life left. Yes, I got depressed on and off, but...for some unknown reason, my sadness and anger did not last long. I just cannot explain why, though. Maybe my past experiences with lupus flares and accompanying pains just made me accustomed to life with pain. For some reason, I just accepted that this was my fate and there was nothing I could do about it. Although I did have spine surgery, which helped a great deal, but now have scar tissue, plus continuing herniations and who knows what else going on. My neck has also been acting up and I deep down feel like I have something similar going on in my neck as I had in my lumbar spine but have no money right now to have it checked out. But I just do not get depressed anymore. I just accept that I am this way and that is it. I only do things that I can physically do and try to deal with everything else. But I am quite a stubborn person and always try to do some things even though I might have pain. I think part of it now is being able to cope from my past experiences....and also, I believe my joint problems may possibly have a genetic link to them, all from my mother's side of the family. My grandmom supposedly had MS, plus severe spine problems and ended up basically wheelchair bound. My uncle had hip and joint problems as a child already; my aunt was a little luckier as she did not develop joint problems until her late 50's - she had one hip replaced but now quickly her other hip is going down the tubes. And...my mother has had some sort of spine problems for many years now, though she just doesn't bother getting it checked out. So this part of it makes me wonder if something is genetic related. Also, one of my sisters , unfortunately, has 4 different autoimmune diseases, some of which could be life threatening. So I strongly believe that at least some of it family-related and makes me think that my problems might have happened no matter what I did in life and that is just the way I am. I just deal with it all day by day, that's all I can do. I have found being depressed and/or angry just saps all the little left over strength one has and it is just too draining. I guess my mind has found it's own way of dealing with it all.


_Christina
Veteran Member


Date Joined Feb 2007
Total Posts : 553
   Posted 3/12/2009 7:17 PM (GMT -7)   
One of the reasons I asked this question is that several people in my church ask me why I had to get RA after just becoming "stable" in my Bipolar treatment.  My story seems to have them questioning God even more than I am anymore.  I end up telling them why I'm OK with everything happening to me.  Then I am left to question it all myself.
 
I am asked often enough that I would like to have a "pat" answer to give people.  Something that says that I believe that everything is done for a reason, and my job is to live life that will give others an "object lesson" to look at. 
 
Whenever I come across as someone that believes that God should heal all religious people who are sick, I have a hard time convincing them that I think it's going to be OK.  Especially when they start to make me question.
 
 
 
Christina
 
Current medications:
Bipolar treatment-Lamictal, 200mg, Mood stabelizer, daily(main side effect: brain fog) Bipolar treatment-Cymbalta, 40mg, Antidepressant, daily(main side effect: GI upset, decreased clotting, insominia) Anemia, Fatigue treatment- Iron supplement, 65mg, daily(main side effect: constipation) Insominia treatment- Ambien, 10mg, daily(main side effect: amnesia eppisodes between taking pill and falling asleep) Mania treatment- Alprazolam, .25mg, Very rarely(main side effect: fatigue, slowing of thoughts, depression of CNS, can't take ambien or vicodin when on it) RA treatment- Plaquenil, 400mg, daily(main side effect: GI upset, decreased clotting) RA treatment- Methotrexate, 25mg, 1X weekly(main side effects: hair loss, stomach upset, mouth sores, sore muscles, fatigue, brain fog, compromised immune system, decreased Folic Acid absorption) GI upset treatment- Leucovorin Calcium, 10mg 1x weekly(main side effects: ?) Folic Acid defintioncy- Folic Acid, 1mg, daily(main side effects: ?) RA treatment- Prednisone, 8mg(and decreasing...)daily(main side effects: increased manic eppisodes, constipation, brain fog, bone density degeneration, compromised immune system) Multi-mineral Supplement (main side effects: constipation, GI upset) Constipation treatment- Docusate Sodium, 200mg, daily(main side effects:?) pain control- Motrin, 800mg, PRN Q6hours daily(main side effects: GI upset, decreased clotting) Pain Control- Vicodin, 5-500mg, PRN Q12hours regularly (main side effects: brain fog, fatigue)
 
 
 
 


PearlOne
New Member


Date Joined Feb 2009
Total Posts : 13
   Posted 3/14/2009 10:30 PM (GMT -7)   
Christina...I was looking at ALL the meds your on. YIKES!!!!!!
HOW can you even function?? It might be a good idea (for your own health & well-being) to research these *drugs* your taking and find out the drug interaction since you are on so many at once.
Unfortunately mainstream doctors are no more than your average *Drug* dealer handing drugs to patients like candy. Gee doc...I'm depressed...Oh here, I'll write you a script for an anti-depressant. And also doc....I have pain everywhere and I can't sleep. NO problem...I'll  just write you a script for Xanax, Celebrex, Soma, and I'll throw some highly addictive percocet in as well.
Sweet dreams!!
It is unfortunate that the FDA & Big Pharma are in collusion. The FDA approves Dangerous drugs knowing they will KILL people, and the Pharmaceuticals give them a BIG BONUS for doing so. Ka-Ching...Billions more for BIG PHARMA.
Please...Do your research!
L.P.

_Christina
Veteran Member


Date Joined Feb 2007
Total Posts : 553
   Posted 3/15/2009 3:55 PM (GMT -7)   
Pearl-
Don't worry, I wasn't given them lightly. First, I was diagnosed as Bipolar and went through all the hoops trying to get to a good place there. We started by just treating the depression, but when that did not work after several medication trys, we added mood stabelizers. We tried several diffrent levels of several diffrent types. After a while, we found the combination of a very low dose of antidepressant and some mood stableizers brought me out of a very deep depression. Once I became "safe," we started trying to decrease the dosage. Once the depression came back, we would increase it a bit to the previous dosage that worked. We did always allow enough time for the withdraw effects to level off before coming to a decision. Finding the correct dosage has taken a long, long time.
I did have a medical test find that I was anemic, which was a probable cause for the fatigue I had. By taking Iron to eliminate anemia, I can be less sleepy without medicine. I take sleeping medicine because, without it, I have not had a full night's sleep for years. When I started taking the antidepressant it became worse, and without sleep I can become Manic. I have tried to decrease it as much as I can- but without it I don't sleep, and it effect's my health. I have tried eliminating caffine, sugar to no avail.
I have availible to me a "depressant" for when I go into a hard manic. I have only used it once, but if I need it, it's there.
Then we go onto the treatment fro RA. I am very early in the treatment for RA, so I have meds added, taken away, increased and decreased all the time. I assume that it will take years before we find out what will work best. I do research the meds before I will take them. I usually have several weeks between talking about them to having the script written. Once we find something that will work, we will figure what the lowest dosage that will work is.
All of the meds are covered by all 3 doctors (PSY, RA, PCP) each time I go to any appt. Everyone knows what everyone else has perscribed, and how much, and why. I feel that I am very safe how I take my medications. Even though there are a lot of them, I do keep tabs on them. But, thanks for caring.
Christina
 
 
Christina
 
Current medications:
Bipolar treatment-Lamictal, 200mg, Mood stabelizer, daily(main side effect: brain fog) Bipolar treatment-Cymbalta, 40mg, Antidepressant, daily(main side effect: GI upset, decreased clotting, insominia) Anemia, Fatigue treatment- Iron supplement, 65mg, daily(main side effect: constipation) Insominia treatment- Ambien, 10mg, daily(main side effect: amnesia eppisodes between taking pill and falling asleep) Mania treatment- Alprazolam, .25mg, Very rarely(main side effect: fatigue, slowing of thoughts, depression of CNS, can't take ambien or vicodin when on it) RA treatment- Plaquenil, 400mg, daily(main side effect: GI upset, decreased clotting) RA treatment- Methotrexate, 25mg, 1X weekly(main side effects: hair loss, stomach upset, mouth sores, sore muscles, fatigue, brain fog, compromised immune system, decreased Folic Acid absorption) GI upset treatment- Leucovorin Calcium, 10mg 1x weekly(main side effects: ?) Folic Acid defintioncy- Folic Acid, 1mg, daily(main side effects: ?) RA treatment- Prednisone, 8mg(and decreasing...)daily(main side effects: increased manic eppisodes, constipation, brain fog, bone density degeneration, compromised immune system) Multi-mineral Supplement (main side effects: constipation, GI upset) Constipation treatment- Docusate Sodium, 200mg, daily(main side effects:?) pain control- Motrin, 800mg, PRN Q6hours daily(main side effects: GI upset, decreased clotting) Pain Control- Vicodin, 5-500mg, PRN Q12hours regularly (main side effects: brain fog, fatigue)
 
 
 
 


ZenaWP
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2007
Total Posts : 884
   Posted 3/18/2009 10:07 AM (GMT -7)   

Red_34, I'm with you...there are many times someone has said to me that at least I'm young and have my health.  Ummm, no, I don't.  Christina, I personally think that trying to figure out why these things happen to us just makes us focus more on the negative and trying to analyze everything you've done in life to figure out what could have caused it is something that probably will do more harm than good.  I know I had those questions when first diagnosed with all of my health problems and I realized the stress of trying to figure it out was doing more harm.  I truly believe that things happen for a reason and I'm going to put my faith in the fact that something good will come out of it...whether it be that it makes me stronger or more sympathetic or whether my experiences can provide someone else some relief when they see that you can live with these problems.  


Crohn's Disease, Acid Reflux/Gastritis, Hashimoto's Thyroiditis, Endometriosis, Arthritis, Depression/Anxiety.  Too many meds to list them all.  =) 

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