Some people just don't get it.....how frustrating!

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yellowfin43
Regular Member


Date Joined Aug 2008
Total Posts : 305
   Posted 6/13/2009 10:54 AM (GMT -7)   
I have severe arthritis. Almost in every joint. I was doing well with it for about 6 months until the Remicade quit working so now its back. I have a friend who calls alot which I appreciate but today she asked me if I wanted to go to the pool. I said yes, I'd love to go to the pool but I can't today because my artritis is really flared up bad. Appearently that wasn't good enough for her so she said "you don't want to be out in the sun?" I said yes but my arthritis is flared up and I can barely walk. Then she said "you cant walk to the pool? It's not very far. I said my kitchen isnt that far either but I'm unable to make a trip there right now.  Then I finally had to be alittle mean. I said this is not a choice for me! Would it be easier for you to understand if I had a spear sticking out of my neck??? What is it that I'm not saying to make you understand that my arthritis is bad today and I can't walk? I know people who don't have it find it hard to understand. I didn't have it till 8 years ago so I try to understand but gees louise.  I never realized just how dense some people can be. Thanks for giving me a place to blow off steam. Tony


Crohns 30 years. Ileostomy for 15 years. Symptom free for 14 years until 10 months ago. Was on Remicade but just recently switched to Humira because remicade stopped working, B-12 injections and iron.
God Bless. Tony

Post Edited (yellowfin43) : 7/23/2009 5:57:16 PM (GMT-6)


momto3
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Date Joined Nov 2006
Total Posts : 1331
   Posted 6/13/2009 11:18 AM (GMT -7)   

It can be frustrating!!! Sorry to hear that you are flaring..I have RA and just this morning I woke up and mentioned to my husband that I felt really stiff and he actually asked me why? are you kidding me? Hello? rolleyes Sometimes I Just have to shake my head! It is true if you don't have it you just don't get it.  Sorry you had to be so blunt with your friend but sometimes you have to be.

I noticed that you also take vitamin b12 injections? how often if you don't mind me asking? and how long did you have to take them before you started feeling better?


yellowfin43
Regular Member


Date Joined Aug 2008
Total Posts : 305
   Posted 6/13/2009 2:51 PM (GMT -7)   
Ive been taking B-12 injections since 1999. I felt an improvement almost immediately since I had used up my reserves before they started me on the injections. I understand a normal body has a 4 to 5 year reserve and my ileostomy was done in 1995 so I went 4 years without refueling mine.
Crohns 30 years. Ileostomy for 15 years. Symptom free for 14 years until 8 months ago. Now on Remicade, B-12 injections and iron. Feeling much better!
God Bless. Tony


Young Wife
New Member


Date Joined May 2009
Total Posts : 5
   Posted 6/13/2009 6:21 PM (GMT -7)   
I know! People just forget how bad it is, no matter what you say, or how often you say it. It's very frustrating.

TayIsa
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2008
Total Posts : 285
   Posted 6/28/2009 4:22 PM (GMT -7)   
I am sorry to hear that you are having a flare. I totally understand what you are saying though. 
I have recently started a summer job.  Its not a new job really as I worked there for 16 years, then took six years off to be a stay at home Mom to my two sons....Well I have returned.  There is obviously new staff from when I previously worked there.  I hate it when someone looks at you and says you dont look to good are you okay? ...then when you proceed to tell them you are having a bad day and that your  RA is acting up and causing you pain they jump in to say OH  I KNOW~ I have a sore back today tooo, or my hand hurts. I just want to scream at them and tell them  EVERY JOINT IN MY BODY IS KILLING ME, ITS TAKING ALL MY ENERGY AND MORE JUST TO STAY HERE AND FINISH MY SHIFT!!, AND I STILL HAVE TO GO HOME AND CARE FOR MY FAMILY!!.  I take a tylenol 3 or sometimes two of them before I even start my shift, and then 4 hours later which is in the middle of my shift I have to take one or two more just to continue with less pain.
I am the stubborn type though and so will struggle along as long as I can because I do not want this disease to beat me.....
(( gentle hugs)) and hope your flare eases soon.
 

sjkly
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Date Joined Dec 2007
Total Posts : 2113
   Posted 6/29/2009 6:43 PM (GMT -7)   
Even though on a personal level it is often as frustrating as hell, I am eternally greatfull that none of my family understand this. I would not wish this on my worst enemy and do not even want them to understand that it is possible to be so fatigued and in so much pain that picking up the glass on the end table next to me can require so much effort that I would rather sit there and suffer from thirst then pick it up and drink.

golitho
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Date Joined Sep 2008
Total Posts : 1670
   Posted 6/29/2009 11:26 PM (GMT -7)   
I can really relate> My youngest son's school was having a disco and they wanted me to volunteer for the barbecue as I am flaring right now I didn't want to help at all, but you feel so mean spirited, I ended up volunteering to sell glo sticks not realising that activating the glo sticks would flare my thumbs so badly. Why didn't I just say NO!!! Its such a terrible disease, best wishes to you all, golitho.

momto3
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2006
Total Posts : 1331
   Posted 7/1/2009 12:33 PM (GMT -7)   
My husband and I are taking a class at the local community college and the instructor is great, but one time I was there, I really over did it, and when I went in the next time, after taking a break she asked me if I were sore and I said yes (she knows I have RA) and she said she has been there!!! and I thought to myself, no you haven't!! every part of my body hurt, it was awful, and most of all frustrating because I can't go to the gym like other people and work out, without sometimes being unable to get out of bed the next day! That is what I find so depressing at times, having to be careful about what I do, while others there are running on the treadmill etc sad  

Cordelia-Mary
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 20
   Posted 7/17/2009 2:40 AM (GMT -7)   
And I thought I was the only one who had to act like a bear with a sore head!!! I have had ME since 1989 and have just been diagnosed with generalised Enthesopathy; RA was diagnosed in 1990 and has flared now and am waiting in trepidation before I see a rheumatologist for first time in some years. A lot of 'friends' just drop like leaves off a tree when your symptoms are spelled out to them. The most hurtful was when someone said 'well its not REAL arthritis' (whatever that is!!) 'just a few aches and pains, and as for your M.E. it stands for ME, and yes me, me, me - the only person you think about's yourself, far more worse off than you are, so be grateful' that is SO hurtful, trying to make someone in real pain feel guilty because there are others worse off than you are. I am equally sorry for them, and no doubt they feel the same. NO ONE should feel guilty for having pain and trying to cope with what they have. I DO feel guilty sometimes, and reading on here helps very much to come to terms with moaning if you need to and not feel guilty about doing so - does that ring any bells too??

Cordelia-Mary


ladywriter
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2009
Total Posts : 112
   Posted 7/17/2009 3:34 AM (GMT -7)   
This disease, the RA, is just so frustrating. I was diagnosed 3 months ago, and currently take MTX, folic acid, and prednisone, along with other meds for other problems. I'll be starting Remicade in a couple of weeks. From explaining it over and over to people who don't have it-"it's not just arthritis, it's an autoimmune disorder like Lupus where my autoimmune system has gone bananas and it's attacking my healthy tissue" (that's more or less what I say in a single breath to anyone who asks or comments on the wrist and hand braces have to I wear most of the time).

My parents finally get it, more or less. At least they know it's a serious disorder, but when I showed my mom the list of meds and supplements I take every day (16) she nearly fell over. I do make a point of explaining to people that it's an autoimmune disease, though. That seems to impart the knowledge that it's serious stuff, not something I can just get rid of by using Ben-gay, although a surprising number of people actually believe that it can cure me. Then I have my good days, and I start thinking "I'm not really that sick, I should be back at work" and I feel so guilty for not being at work because I know they need me (I'm currently on short-term disability from work, until mid-September) and suddenly my energy level plummets and I have to go home if I'm out, or lay down if I'm at home, but it's still hard to shake the guilt.

I've just resigned myself to the fact that some people get it (in their own way) and some people don't. You can see in my signature line that I'm a recovered alcoholic with 15 years of sobriety, and even though I consider myself recovered, I'm still an alcoholic and a lot of people just don't get it, so I'm used to that kind of reaction. Maybe that's why I have accepted that some people, no matter how hard you try to explain, will just not understand. Others will, but you really learn who your friends are when faced with something as serious as RA. And that's my two cent's worth.
Rheumatoid Arthritis, Chronic Pain, Chronic Major Depression, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Schizoaffective Disorder, Recovered Alcoholic w/15 years Continuous Sobriety

Post Edited (ladywriter) : 7/17/2009 4:39:30 AM (GMT-6)


Mrs arthur Itis
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 41
   Posted 7/17/2009 8:50 AM (GMT -7)   
Dear Yellowfin43
BRILLIANT! This happens so often. I am unable to exercise and can only walk round house, a cousin rang yesterday and said' can't you go swimming?' i replied the neurosurgeon wouldn't let me.....answer 'my Mum had RA and SHE could go swimming'! Then people just don't believe you can have so many complaints, i think they just think you get a book and a pin and choose one or two big words to have. I love the words you write that if you had spear sticking out of your neck maybe they would understand better. i want to just thank you for expressing my frustrations so well - This forum idea really does help
take care, stay positive
best
arthur
Better to try all things and to find all things empty, than to try nothing and leave your life a blank
 
 


Tuff
New Member


Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 7
   Posted 7/17/2009 9:34 AM (GMT -7)   
I'm new to RA and already it is exactly what I go through with my 9 yr old son's Type 1 diabetes. Everyone says oh you just have to watch what he eats and he'll grow out of it . They are of course seeing the commercials for type 2 diabetes. I always have to explain it is an autoimmune disease and that his pancreas has been attacked and doesn't produce any insulin anymore. He will not grow out of it and it is a 24 hour/day job keeping his blood sugar in check by watching his activities, moods, weighing and measuring all his food, etc. If I don't do all that then he is at great risk of blindness, amputations, heart disease, etc.

NOW I get double frustration having to tell everyone about the difference in arthritis.

sad

I have to try and bite my tongue a lot. But I have been changing my own attitude about it lately too. I figure this person really doesn't know the difference and they are innocently saying their remarks. They aren't out to offend us so i try to say whatever in my mind and let it go more often. It seems to lessen the frustration.

Tuff

NJ56Mom
New Member


Date Joined Jun 2009
Total Posts : 3
   Posted 7/22/2009 12:29 PM (GMT -7)   
I can also relate.  I have Sjogren's Syndrome and undiagnosed autoimmune disease, plus back and knee OA.  I have lost a long-time friend because she just didn't get it and was extremely rude to me, saying things like *Oh, you don't KNOW what pain is.  It's not that bad* and telling me to *just work out more* like SHE does.  I don't talk to her now.
 
Others do the same *Oh, I have THAT* they say.  NO YOU DON'T.  It gets frustrating, even with family.  The only person I know that understands my pain is my sister, because she has RA, even though hers is quite mild.  She has HAD the pain.  But it hurts to not get any support, especially from family.  My husband is not too understanding and it makes me feel bad that it's like he doesn't care.
 
I'm kind of ashamed to admit it, but sometimes I lie when I am asked to go to some event that I KNOW I would not be able to handle.  We had a graduation party, but it was a 2-hour drive one-way, so 4 hrs. total in the car, which I can't do sitting too long, plus it was hot and would be outside and crowded.   My husband didn't even want to go, so we lied and said we had previous plans.  It's just easier sometimes.
 
 

Mrs arthur Itis
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 41
   Posted 7/22/2009 12:52 PM (GMT -7)   
Dear NJ56Mom
I can really identify with what you are saying here. I had a wonderful RA nurse when I was first diagnosed many years ago now, and she told me that having RA is like having a new baby - it changes your life and just as when you have a baby you have to put it first, it's the same with RA, your life revolves round that and conditions vary from day to day, but whatever the day is you have to consider if you can cope with it.
I hate, just HATE having to say I'm not fit to go somewhere or do something. I know it's wrong, but I see it as an admission of failure, which is stupid, because i never asked for all the problems I've got - I never asked for one of them. My own brother is by far the worst, I am sure he thinks I'm putting it all on and I can sense the attitude 'Well, you could if you tried!'What does he think I do?
I am a coward often and get my husband to ring people to say we can't come - or I did this until very, very recently and suddenly, years down the line now, I can say 'I'm sorry, I've got a bad flare up and we can't come' and I can say it without thinking what a coward I am. If my frinds don't want to understand then they weren't friends in the first place!
I'm not pretending this is always so, because even with my bestest friend I sometimes feel she is getting frustrated with me. But I am so blessed - so very blessed - because I have the most understanding and caring husband under the sun. We married late and I became a wife, a mother, and a grandmother all on the same day.I have had so much illness since I married him, and not once, no, not once has he ever complained nor failed to tell me he loves me every single day. I wish I could share him with you but it's just too far from UK to US!!
take care, Mommy, love and hugs to you Arthur 
 ‘Whether the human and kindred animal races survive till the exhaustion or destruction of the globe … pain to all upon it, tongued or dumb, shall be kept down to a minimum by loving kindness.’
 
 
Conditions: polyarthritis , rheumatoid arthritis, osteoarthritis, ankylosing spondilitis, fibromyalgia, costochondritis, degenerative disc problems, occipital neuralgia, sjogren's syndrome, osteoporosis, detached retina, macular degeneration. Mobility problems, wheelchair user outsaide home
 


yellowfin43
Regular Member


Date Joined Aug 2008
Total Posts : 305
   Posted 7/23/2009 4:56 PM (GMT -7)   
Thanks for all of your responses. I wish I could meet some of you face to face. This forum is so helpful but since I personally dont know anyone else with arthritis like mine it would be nice to meet you. Like all of you I have good days occasionally and I pray that they would last longer. I recently discovered that the grocery store I shop at has those electric scooters with the basket in front. It took all the nerve I had to surrender to one of them but I was hurting so bad and didnt want to be there but I got one one and off I went. Even though I was very self conscious at first ( I felt like everybody was looking at the crippled guy) it made my experience so pleasurable to shop that I called my mom and told her what I'd discovered. I guess I still have some ego left and I hate accepting this disease but I do alittle more each day. I'm 50 now but I don't think of myself that old. Funny huh?. I'm just happy that you are out there to understand and give positive feedback. Sometimes thats more valuable to me than a handful of Aleve. lol. Thanks again, Tony
Crohns 30 years. Ileostomy for 15 years. Symptom free for 14 years until 10 months ago. Was on Remicade but just recently switched to Humira because remicade stopped working, B-12 injections and iron.
God Bless. Tony


Mrs arthur Itis
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 41
   Posted 7/23/2009 6:50 PM (GMT -7)   
Oh, Tony, you're so right - you're ONLY fifty - gosh how wonderfully young - some of the best times lie ahead of you. In fact, you're nearly as young as me (69 going on 70) but not quite! I, too, hated my wheelchair and felt really embarassed to use it, after all, I'm NOT disabled! I  just have a few falling-over problems! Because I don't always have to use my wheelybin (I can walk short distances on good days as long as my hubby props me up) I used to think, gosh, they'll all be looking at me and judging me 'What is SHE doing in a wheelchair?' I could hear them thinking. It meant that every time I went out i didn't enjoy it - now, however, when I've grown younger, I realise life is too short to bother about what THEY think - who are THEY anyway to judge me? Only my God can do that. So now my dear hubby proudly pushes me round in my royal wheelybin with his own dear pile of rubbish in it. (I used to have an electric one but visual problems meant that there were an awful lot of people lying around on the pavement (sidewalk) moaning.
Enjoy your life, Tony, and *** what other folk think, after all, this is the REAL thing - you don't get chance to do it again.
Stay young, be happy,
Mrs Arthur Itis
 At least the pain lets me know I'm alive!
 
 
Conditions: polyarthritis , rheumatoid arthritis, osteoarthritis, ankylosing spondilitis, fibromyalgia, costochondritis, degenerative disc problems, occipital neuralgia, sjogren's syndrome, osteoporosis, detached retina, macular degeneration. Mobility problems, wheelchair user outsaide home
 


_Christina
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Date Joined Feb 2007
Total Posts : 553
   Posted 7/23/2009 8:32 PM (GMT -7)   
confused  Tonight I was asked "do your joints still hurt?"  my answer- "Of course they still hurt!"  Why do people believe that this is a short term problem and I should have it "handled" in a reasonable amount of time?
shocked  Lately I have noticed that people at church (my closest friends now that I am no longer working) glaze over when I start to truly answer the question "how are things going for you lately?"  I've chosen to keep my answer short to my most pressing problems (an even split between Bipolar episodes and RA flares) and leave the other secondary or ongoing problems off the list.  The problem is that because I am not consistent with my complaints people wonder if I might be exaggerating a bit.  Also, they wonder why I react the way I do because they don't know the whole story.
There was one time that I let the whole laundry list of my complaints out to someone who had pressed and was asking how I really was doing.  I saw her eyes pop a bit and she started looking around for a way out of the conversation.  She did ask for it, though.  She didn't understand that one person could have all the problems that I do.  "How can I have all of that?" she asked.  I don't know, I didn't get to choose- or I would have opted out. 
Also, health problems bring about $ problems and relationship problems and child raising problems and house cleaning problems and weight issues and other health problems.  Mine affects my ability to sleep, so I am exhausted all the time.  Try making good choices when you are exhausted, nauseous, and it hurts all over.  "No, I don't want to volunteer at the church today." and "I know I never take the kids out to the neighborhood pool, and I'm not going to start either."
I have started to "lie" to people that ask "how are you doing?" after I haven't seen them in a while.  I know that they want to hear what has been going on in my life lately, but I haven't seen them since my RA Dx and they are not ready for an answer like I have for them.   So I shrug and say "all right" and move on.  I know I am brushing people off- and I am probably hurting a few feelings.  (I have been told that I come across as "stuck up")  But I am just not prepared to break out in tears at the grocery store- and neither are they.  I assume that I have simply lost all of the aspects of my old life.  I have lost my ability to work, go to school, and all of the friends that I had in that circle.  My life has changed so much, I might as well let it all go and move on.
It doesn't help that I am in a Bipolar depression right now.
I am 30 years old.  My kids are 11, 8, and 4. They take it in stride when I say things like, "let's go- Mommy doesn't feel good so we have to go now"  and "why don't you put in a movie while I take a nap on the couch."  But the other parents don't understand.
 Christina
Even though I do not understand where I am going on the path that God has laid out for me, I must submit to His plan and trust that He will take me where I need to be. 
 
Current medications:
Bipolar treatment-Lamictal, 200mg, Mood stabelizer, daily(main side effect: brain fog) Bipolar treatment-Cymbalta, 40mg, Antidepressant, daily(main side effect: GI upset, decreased clotting, insominia) Anemia, Fatigue treatment- Iron supplement, 65mg, daily(main side effect: constipation) Insominia treatment- Ambien, 10mg, daily(main side effect: amnesia eppisodes between taking pill and falling asleep) Mania treatment- Alprazolam, .25mg, Very rarely(main side effect: fatigue, slowing of thoughts, depression of CNS, can't take ambien or vicodin when on it) RA treatment- Plaquenil, 400mg, daily(main side effect: GI upset, decreased clotting) RA treatment- Methotrexate, 25mg, 1X weekly(main side effects: hair loss, stomach upset, mouth sores, sore muscles, fatigue, brain fog, compromised immune system, decreased Folic Acid absorption) GI upset treatment- Leucovorin Calcium, 10mg 1x weekly(main side effects: ?) Folic Acid defintioncy- Folic Acid, 1mg, daily(main side effects: ?) Multi-mineral Supplement (main side effects: constipation, GI upset) Constipation treatment- Docusate Sodium, 200mg, daily(main side effects:?) pain control- Motrin, 800mg, PRN Q6hours daily(main side effects: GI upset, decreased clotting) Pain Control- Vicodin, 5-500mg, PRN Q12hours 3-4 times weekly (main side effects: brain fog, fatigue)
 
 
 
 


Cordelia-Mary
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 20
   Posted 7/24/2009 6:45 AM (GMT -7)   
What a coincidence, Yellowfin! I am 51 and have a lot of 'pride' (?) and am keen to keep up my appearence for my self esteem as much as anything, however, the last trip round our smaller supermarket nearly killed me, I didn't know how to get back in my car and sat hunched over the wheel and suddenly saw a woman about my age I guess, and well groomed and attractive, on a little electric scooter with a basket. She looked confident, at ease and well (apart from being on a scooter). I caught my reflection in the rear view mirror and my face was washed out, eyes red from weeping in pain and looking utterly exhausted but, hey, smart clothes on!! Duuuuh I thought to myself 'just who is the smart one here??' Now I go round the larger supermarkets (more choice) on their own wheelie trolleys, relaxed, made-up, smiling and on my third week going like that, received a date offer from a well-fit guy and we had a great time. My advice to anyone not happy on taking that plunge is to go for it! It's attitude that counts, and if you go round smiling and let's face it, much more comfortably, some of those looks you get may not all be thinking as you said 'Who's that cripple' at all....... :-) ;-)
Cordelia-Mary


yellowfin43
Regular Member


Date Joined Aug 2008
Total Posts : 305
   Posted 7/24/2009 10:07 AM (GMT -7)   
I guess for me its sort of like finding out you have an arm growing out of your back. At first your shocked and bewildered maybe even embarrassed. then as time goes on you slowly start realizing its not so bad. I'm still trying to get to the point where I can see it as acceptable. As my luck goes though, if I really did have an arm growing out of my back it would have arthritis. lol   In all honesty, Im hanging in there. I have my bad days and get alittle depressed but its nothing severe. Then I have my good days and go for walks or the gym if Im able. Sometimes I just need to vent.  Tony
Crohns 30 years. Ileostomy for 15 years. Symptom free for 14 years until 10 months ago. Was on Remicade but just recently switched to Humira because remicade stopped working, B-12 injections and iron.
God Bless. Tony

Post Edited (yellowfin43) : 7/24/2009 11:10:23 AM (GMT-6)


MountainMan
New Member


Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 8
   Posted 7/24/2009 11:42 AM (GMT -7)   
07/24/09
 
As much as anyone would want others to understand, most never understand what one goes through with any type of chronic pain or chronic illness, it is not some thing I ever beat myself up about. A true friend will understand if one is not feeling up to par on any given day or week. If they do not understand, then the friend ship is not one of major substance to begin with.
 
To get upset over it is a huge waste of energy. One has to focus on one's own life 1st so we can function the best possible through each day, one minute at a time. We have good days, to us they are good, to other days we just wish would come and go in major real time.  I live with chronic pain and 9 chronic illnesses. I make the best of each day, just one minute at a time. To do more would be asking more than my body and mind can provide.
 
I stay away from any stressful situation I know will cause more than I will allow in my comfort zone. When one has to be pushed into a social setting away from one's comfort zone, we do not have this to fall back on. I wish it was a perfect world but that is wishing on a star in another journey yet to be discovered.
 
I like this HellingWell Forum as I have read and have posted some as a new member.  No one has the exact same illness even if same diagnosis. We all share a common bond and that is a great comfort. I am blessed to have those few in my life that understand. When I have to go out in a social setting I put on my mask and just say, "it's show time". Do the best I can when it just has to be done to get away from home. There is nothing more comforting and stress free than being at home 24/7. Being I am bed bound 99% of my life and have an electric wheel chair to get around and to medical and grocery or vehicle maintanence or get the mail every week or 10 days, I find the best coping skills to maintain at home.
 
I have no regrets of not being able to do the social things of going to a pool or to eat out or attend functions. I did that a lot in my life before I became permanently disabled for life. I am blessed I got to do all my dreams in my professions I was in. What happened to me was in less than one minute and my life was changed for ever. So through time you learn how to cope and make the best of any situation. I learned to 'Negate Life' is the worst thing one can do. Find what makes one feel the best in a comfort zone and when one is feeling up to going out side of the comfort zone. No two days are alike nor are two minutes alike. If others do not understand you have to realize no one understands unless they are going through the same disablity. You can tell someone you have a cold and they will say, "will in two weeks or 14 days you will be feeling better". You tell someone you have cancer and they react as though they might get it. They do not know how to deal with it. Just like any Chronic Illness is so over the top for anyone that does not have a Chronic Illness. I make no apology to anyone.
"Take Life One Minute At A Time as there are 1440 Minutes in Every 24 Hour Day To Take Life A Day At A Time!"


CrohnsMom
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2003
Total Posts : 57
   Posted 7/28/2009 8:59 AM (GMT -7)   
I soooo understand....I love the people that say...just work it out like it's a sore muscle that if you just keep moving it will get better.  It is the complete opposite.  If I keep moving it makes it worse.  I have many braces to immobilize the joint that is hurting.  Wondering about leg braces at this point.  People don't get it.  Including my husband which sucks!
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