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oreo
Veteran Member


Date Joined Feb 2004
Total Posts : 528
   Posted 5/30/2005 4:43 PM (GMT 0)   
Erin, I agree with flopsie. Your graduate studies will still be there in a few years. You are not doing your body any favours going at life as though there is nothing wrong with you. You have a POTENTIALLY DEBILITATING ILLNESS. I stress the word POTENTIALLY. This is not for sure, although the way you are taking life it is starting to look a little more sure. You are so young. Give yourself time to heal. The drugs can work but sometimes we need to slow down so that the drugs are not trying to work on the new damage we are doing but can work on the old damage and heal us. It takes time, patience and perseverence. I care for you and think that it is great what you trying to accomplish while suffering so, but try slowing down and giving yourself permission to take time for yourself for healing. No one expects you to accomplish alot right now except yourself. You never know what a year off might accomplish. Work as a RN for a year and then look at graduate work. You might find that the year will help your body to heal and you can do the graduate work without pain.
Not trying to freak on you, but you have got to slow down girl. You are amazing and have done amazing work. We are all proud of you and what you have accomplished. Now give yourself some credit and take time off.
Take care. Feel free to blast me if I have stepped over the line and hurt your feelings. I really do care about you. Did not know a politically correct way of saying this.
Oreo
Worry not for tomorrow, for tomorrow will take care of itself.
 
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erin.K
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2005
Total Posts : 3148
   Posted 5/31/2005 2:43 PM (GMT -6)   
scool  i know i know.  my worst quality is that i'm stubborn and once i get an idea in my head...i'm gunghoe! i don't feel well , no i don't. there's so much i want to do and frankly i'm tired of WAITING. so i do and go as much as possible. i don't actually do much. but there are many times where this year i would literally collapse at the end of the day just from being out. and also i think i do this because it keeps me from thinking about the "now". silly but i think that if i make plans to do the things normal people do that i'll stop being the way i am now ( a little disabled).
but like today....so painful and i fell right asleep on the train too. i pushed myself to work and was miserable. left early and now i'm in for the rest of the week. i guess i just really hate what my body's become...and i use denial as a coping mechanism.
had a nice weekend :-) me and my honey. did a lot of horse racing and barn and track things. he's on vacation this week. he's sooooo happy! been 9 months since his last break. i was able to stay out the entire day yesterday! cool something i wasn't able to do in a long time. but i crashed as soon i came home. it was difficult but i was glad that i hung in there....my honey was happy not to leave early because of me needing to go in or lye down. made me glad to see him happy.
till later
erin

erin.K
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2005
Total Posts : 3148
   Posted 6/2/2005 7:47 PM (GMT -6)   
have my appointment tomorrow at eleven for SSI and disability.  have all my papers in order so everything should go smoothly.  in a lot of pain so my case should look especially convincing.  just hope it goes quickly.  looking forward to the weekend, i miss my honey.  was lonely this week especially when not feeling well.
wish me LUCK!  i need it.
oh, also am looking into remicade infusions.  as my last resort to active severe RA.  i mean, this is rediculous, there are 80 year olds with arthritis functioning better than me.
hope everyone is okay.
have a good night.
erin

erin.K
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2005
Total Posts : 3148
   Posted 6/3/2005 6:10 AM (GMT -6)   
so flopsie, how's your daughter making out?  hope everything is still going well.  thanks for your support today.  you should have read this denial letter they sent me in 2002. "we feel that you are responding to treatment and it will resolve within 12 months...given your age and education level...blah blah blah..."
boy are they in for a nice surprise.  i sure do hope something works in my advantage, beginning to not know what to do anymore sad .  i feel trapped in a dead body, like in a coma.  my mind works, but my bodt doesn't want to follow.
i really love the foundation i've been working for the past month, but even 2 days a week proved too much.  and yesterday i had to miss going in because of pain and difficulties walking and exhaustion.  so now, if they'll keep me, i'll try for one day a week.  if i get disability, i would be more than happy to even volunteer once a week :-) the place is so great (and plus it will keep my skills sharp).
looking into places that do Remicade infusions.  do you know of anyone who's had them?  i'de love to correspond with someone who's had the therapy.  i really had so much hope in Enbrel making this bearable.  it will be a year and my condition is going backwards (or else there's something there that no one has caught yet).
oy, i have an NCLEX book i took from the library to prep for my boards and haven't even looked at it yet!  see, lost my GUSTO! eyes
any plans for the weekend? hope it's a nnice one.  here in NJ it's supposed to be 80! yeah weeeeeehooooo!  are there any names picked out for the new grandbaby yet?  i wish everyone the best!  have a good day flopsie.  let me know how you are doing!
{{{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}}}
erin

erin.K
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2005
Total Posts : 3148
   Posted 6/3/2005 12:44 PM (GMT -6)   
:-)  just back from SSI office.  the young lady helping me was very nice.  took such a long time to process!  was very exhausting.  but she said the more medical evidence i have the quicker the process will go through.  i'm pooped now! eyes   i hope i get some help.  this will really stink if i have to wait months and months for a big fat NO like a few years back.  this is something i hate doing and i hate that i have to do it.  maybe this time around will be better.
erin

erin.K
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2005
Total Posts : 3148
   Posted 6/7/2005 3:00 PM (GMT -6)   
smurf  not going to do a darn thing this week! yes, erin is finally listening to her body....like she preaches to her patients tongue since i had a good scare sunday....am going to keep off my legs a bit. the one thing i never had was swollen joints. went to bed saturday nite, woke up sunday morning and both knees very stiff and painful....after a while the left knee was way more swollen and couldn't walk on it. enough pain to bring tears sad   hasn't been that bad since last year's ER visit.  my honey made some kickin' margheritas! tongue and after 3 of them, it took the edge off, and i elevate it and iced it. Rheummy called today and said there's really nothing to do but wait it out.
kinda upset with the enbrel....hasn't helped any since november.  perhaps it's not strong enough for me or this sort of severe active RA.  really want to try for remicade infusions...gone through everything else. i need to get to a functioning level if possible. this stinks!
planning on taking in some sun, renting some films and purging some papers from my house and maybe taking Pea (kitty) to get her nails cut.
happy summer!
erin

Admin
Forum Administrator


Date Joined Jan 2003
Total Posts : 9685
   Posted 6/7/2005 3:10 PM (GMT -6)   
This thread is getting really long which makes it difficult for new members to follow, please start a new thread, preferably shorter threads, instead of one long one, which are less cumbersome to read.

Peter
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