Post Edited (effie) : 7/7/2005 8:51:15 AM (GMT-6)
Hello Effie & Gang,
I am Susie from the chronic pain & crohns boards. Judy, I just read your post and I wanted to cry. My god, you are such a strong lady. It amazes me the amount of strength we can manage to pull together in a crisis situation.
I have read a lot of Erin's posts and have had her on my mind. Its awful to see someone in the shape she is in to be so young and so much life ahead of her.
I am 52 as of last month, my problems began after an emergency resection 7-4-02 while on vacation in Mexico. Since that time, my health has spiraled downward, not just from cd, but osteo-arthritis, crohns arthritis and PN in my hands. Depression from hell. I am halfway out of the black hole. I had to stop working as of Oct. 03, my gi who has only retired one person in his life, demanded that I stop working and file for SSD. I finally filed Feb of 04 and was awarded benefits w/o any problems. I have worked 20yrs plus as a paralegal, its a very fast paced high stressed job. My load of cases averaged 150. I settled claims, ran the office, did the bookkeeping, you name it. This was my true love, my work. Anytime I had a problem, I could always lose it in my work.
I eventually had myself a meltdown and got on Effexor and I see a psychologist. I have learned so much from her. I still have issues with denial of my health problems, I am still grieving because of not being able to do the things I would normally do. I have always been very independant, self-spoken and went 500 hundred miles per hour a day, now I am at a snails pace. I am very limited, had surgery on both knees last year, now both may need to be replaced.
My worst year was on 8-7-04 when my only brother was in an auto accident, (one car). He was pronounced at the scene, somehow god was not finished with him. He was in a coma for 3 months. He is better now, but w/two bleeds on both sides of the brain, he does have problems. As hard as I tried, for the months he was in the hospital I could not be there every day for him. When I did 5 days in a row, I ended in bed for a week. We are very close, so naturally when he started getting better, so did I.
Post Edited (Flopsie) : 7/7/2005 8:34:09 PM (GMT-6)
Erin, as you know from a different post, I agree with these ladies about postponing your studies. My problems started getting really bad 10 years ago and got much worse after my son was born 4 years ago. Every year I get worse. I've lost 2 job and my doctor wants me to apply to SSI. I'm only in my 30's and have a hard time letting go, but I have to accept that I cannot go on with trying to juggle my family, my pain, illnesses, and an outside job. It's a tough call to know when the best time is to try again....but the fact is, you have been through SO much lately, you just cannot afford another thing on your plate (other than some more apple fritters ) - getting through school 'by the skin of your teeth' could land you back in the hospital......your life is more important than that!!!
Ladies, your stories are heartbreaking. I cannot believe you all have gone through so much. I cried with every entry. I've been wondering about how depressed I've been getting for so long and you pretty much opened my eyes about it even more so. Last year I felt like I was being buried alive. Now that I lost my job, it's not as bad as that, but I find myself so easily switching from fine to breakdown. I get mad that I get depressed, and that makes me more upset. It's not that I feel "woe is me..." but, something inside me just dies and I feel like I'm barely going through the motions, worse, I don't have the strength, health or ability to "work through it" anymore whether it's a job, cleaning house, or taking care of my kids and I feel so defeated. I keep trying to get back to work - I too have been the main breadwinner of the family and now my husband has to support us on his meager salary in a job that he absolutely hates. He has no other skills and really cannot go anywhere else at this point. The fact our marriage is rocky doesn't help - and my health issues have been a good contributor of those rocks.
But, Erin, I think you and I are dealing with the same fight, just from different corners of life. I so understand your want and need to continue on with school. I understand the need to fight it and say, " I CAN and WANT to do this! You can NOT get me down!" You have your health and sanity to think about, not to mention your sweetie. Put yourself in someone else's shoes - how you would feel if a loved one was going through this and you could see how much they needed to step back and take it easy for a while. Wouldn't you beg them to take a break?
I pray you will get relief soon, as well as all of us, from what ails us physically, mentally, and spiritually.
Post Edited (effie) : 7/8/2005 8:50:55 AM (GMT-6)
My sentiments exactly! Don't hold off postings due to guilt, be happy for your remission. We are!!!! You are such a caring person, your voice would be sorely missed!
I completely agree with these Ladies...do NOT feel guilty over some relief that you are getting from the monster PAIN.
REJOICE. as we are ..to know that some one is finally getting some much needed relief.We love you, and are so glad that you are here for us. God put you here for a reason....one of those reasons..WE ALL NEED YOU.
We do not care if you do not immediately answer or comment on a post...so what...you will get to it.
I know that you are a kind and caring person..I can tell by the words in your posts..that is why you feel as you do, but honey, we are your extended "family", your immediate family must come first.
You would never hinder me, if you felt a post needed to be edited, it would be in the best interest of this forum, and it is here to promote wellness.
If I saw one of my posts had been edited I would think "oh oh, I opened my big mouth again, and spoke before I thought.(sometime I forget to remember to do that ya know)
I would not be offended.
Please stay right here with us, I need you, I can not do this alone.
You are in my thoughts and prayers..praying also that remission continues for you,
Hi, I am on the Prevacid daily dose also. I was concerned about taking it with all my other meds..especially my heart meds.
Doctor told me to take Prevacid 2 hours before or after my other meds........that will give it time to absorb and not interfere with your other meds.
Have a wonderful day,
Hmmm, I don't remember if I was told that or not...of course, there are many things I do not remember these days!
Doc today told me to start taking Prevacid or Nexium (?) while I"m taking motrin daily to avoid ulcers....she forgot to write me Rx! Doh! Guess I better call her tomorrow.
One doc told me to take Prevacid right b4 bed to avoid morning stomach pain, the other doc said - first thing a.m. before anything else gets in you.
They (doctors) all crack me up when they aren't annoying me!
Post Edited (effie) : 7/12/2005 3:20:01 AM (GMT-6)