i am a 50 yr old has been who is washed up

New Topic Post Reply Printable Version
[ << Previous Thread | Next Thread >> ]

missie1227
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2005
Total Posts : 751
   Posted 7/10/2006 2:01 PM (GMT -7)   
i have no life to speak of i just exsist day to day.
 
 i have no family but for my son who is 21 and out of the country for the summer, and a part time husband who is rather fed up with me and my issues.
now i just sleep all day and up all night.
i dont go out much so this board is my life line and my computer. i dont really talk to anyone all day and so my phone doesnt ring i have no friends and no one to call.
 
my family is either dead or estranged from me and wants nothing to do with me from long ago issues when i was a teenager.
 
i buy junk on ebay at night and take meds.
it is a terrble way to live and lonely too. but my pain keeps me isolated as i cant get around much and i am spending money faster tahn it is coming in and i am not rich.
i feel like lef is passsing me by and at aged 50 sometimes i look in hte mirror and say you still look okay why cant you feel ok.
 
i dont feel well and take prozac but it oversedates me and i end up having night/day sleep reversal.
 
 i never had this problem until my car crash in 02, i was a teacher with a masters degree even though my spelling is awful i dont correct it here.
now i look for support groups but there are none here where i live, so i dont get out. i dont even go out for walks anymore as my spine hurts me too much.
i tired to lose weight as i am overweight by 40 pounds, i treid the atkins and still am trying it.
 
i want to have a better life somehow but i have become  stressed out and am agoraphobic. besides gas prices are too high so driving around is expensive also and the doctors told me last week that my new ct scan done on my neck showed that if i even so much have a tap of a car crash i am done in for that is how bad my neck is now.... so this makes me nervous as theyu drive like nuts down here in florida sad sad sad
9-02 crash w/ C-5-6-7 anterior/posterior fusion in neck w/11 screws and 4 metal plates. multilevel HNP at T & L section. FMS, PA in dec 05. on SSDI after 2.5 yr wait. sezuires, CTS, IBS ( C & D). norco, xanax, predisone shots. i dont know what else is wrong with me and neither does anyone else!!!


razzle51
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 763
   Posted 7/10/2006 2:40 PM (GMT -7)   
To heck with the gas prices Life goes on . You need to get out . I am 55yr and was home bound for a while . But I told myself self get your buns up and go . Started going to the senior center and now I HAVE my life back . I am on disability . You can do it . Llife is to short to sniffle about it.
Syringomyelia T4-T10
Chiari Malformation
Decompression Surgery 1999
 
We are normal people, trying to live normal lives,
with bodies that have forgotten what normal is
 
 
"Remember I'm pullin' for ya, we're all in this together" Red Green


Oklahoma girl
New Member


Date Joined Jun 2006
Total Posts : 8
   Posted 7/10/2006 3:21 PM (GMT -7)   
Go back to your Doc and discuss your problems. the depression can be treated. You may need some talk therapy also. At my church, we have a retired licensed therapist who works one day a week for free. there is probably something free or low cost near you. I would suggest insurance, but it never covers well for mental health issues, In my experience. I was chronically depressed before the RA hit, but the pain is enough to put anyone in depression. (That was what the doc said before my lumbar laminectomy, I could have kissed him.) My family is pretty good except they have always felt I was a hypochondriac.

Remember you have people online who care and understand. we are pulling for you. I am 55 and have been not working for a year, on disability for 6 months. Have you tried crafts? Of course that is just another expensive way to fill your time.

curley
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2005
Total Posts : 4305
   Posted 7/10/2006 7:11 PM (GMT -7)   
Missie Hi,

I'm truley sorry that you are having such a hard time of things right now,but have to agree you need to find some kind a outlet because just sitting there is not goint to get it.There are services for people that need help.But you have got to want to get help and I know that it is easier said than done but that is the only way you are going to get better.I just want you to know that we are here for you every step of the way and we have you in our thoughts and prayer's.I would also like for you to know you are not alone and I was where you are now.I was a healthy women and worked full time a raised three step kids and it seemed like I went to bed and then I woke up the next morning and my world was turned up-side down and I want you to know that I have crohns,ra,oa,as,sejerens and looking at a possible MS diagnoses as well.I was also in a wheel-chair for over a year because I could no longer walk because of the arthritis and I was having problems with fluid retintion(edema)and I was severley depressed and I had to do about six months of intense theraphy to buld my musels and to get the streanth to be able to walk on my own.I would like to say please don't take me wrong I think you want help and you just don't know were to turn.But you have taken a step forward by posting here.
Thanks
Curley......
a.k.a.Mela...........


missie1227
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2005
Total Posts : 751
   Posted 7/10/2006 11:11 PM (GMT -7)   
thank you guys for your help...i ahve to learn it is a day by day thing

9-02 crash w/ C-5-6-7 anterior/posterior fusion in neck w/11 screws and 4 metal plates. multilevel HNP at T & L section. FMS, PA in dec 05. on SSDI after 2.5 yr wait. sezuires, CTS, IBS ( C & D). norco, xanax, predisone shots. i dont know what else is wrong with me and neither does anyone else!!!


elcamino
Veteran Member


Date Joined Sep 2005
Total Posts : 1744
   Posted 7/11/2006 4:44 AM (GMT -7)   

Missie,  depression is a very debilitating condition (I guess you know that, huh?).  Others are right--you need to get out of the house.  If you are uncomfortable driving, there are other ways to get around.  Also, you mentioned that prozac oversedates you.  There are many other very good SSRIs (anti-depressants) (e.g., Lexapro, Paxil, Zoloft, etc...) that will not necessarily have the same effects on an individual.  I took Prozac briefly after having my girls for post-partum depression, and that drug had the opposite effect on me.  I became very jittery and jumpy, couldn't sleep.  And I was on a very low dose.  It was not the right drug for me. 

Also, talk therapy should not be underestimated.  If you don't have insurance, you may qualify for state assistance, and you can receive mental health services through your state.  Even if you only went to see a counselor once a month, you may find it tremendously helpful.  I would recommend that, if you have a choice, you see either a psychologist or a clinical social worker.  A psychiatrist may prescribe you a good anti-depressant, but they are horrible talk therapists.  A psychologist and clinical social worker are trained in talk therapy. 

Pastors offering pastoral counseling are also good options that you might wish to take advantage of.  At my church, some of the pastors (I go to a fairly large church) offer pastoral counseling free of charge.  Many churches also participate in the Stephen Ministry, which is a lay ministry that trains people to serve as crisis counselors.  If you participate in the Stephen Ministry, you will be assigned a Stephen Minister, who can meet with you once a week, help you to get out more, talk to you about your depression, chronic illness, other health conditions, and address your spirituality concerns.  I'm not trying to push religion; just wanted you to know that Stephen Ministry exists--and is free.

I hope you feel better soon.

Elcamino


Current dx: Rheumatoid Arthritis
Suspected dx: Early Lupus/MCTD
Current Meds: Enbrel, Plaquenil, Aciphex, Ultracet, Zyrtec, Allavert-D, Zantac, Tylenol PM
Past Meds: Relafen, Vioxx, Mobic, Voltaren, Sulfasalazine, Entocort, Prednisone, Humira, Reglan


yalinda
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2006
Total Posts : 1179
   Posted 7/11/2006 2:55 PM (GMT -7)   
i agree with elcamino... we have stephen ministry at our church and it is a great resource to find support and an ear to listen. our stephen ministers go to the persons home often or take the person out of their home to talk to them. if you do not have knowledge of this service go online and do a search in your area. i think you were from florida right and our members were trained somewhere in the south i believe? i may be wrong and elcamino may know better on this?

take care and take those baby steps in making changes. one day at a time. Yalinda

erin.K
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2005
Total Posts : 3148
   Posted 7/11/2006 9:25 PM (GMT -7)   
{{{{{{{ hugs missie }}}}}}}}}}}}
i won't be redundant...so i'll add some personal stuff.  like yourself, i never imagined THIS would be life for me.  i used to get up, work out for 2 hours, go to class, go to work, go out, and do it ALL again the next day.  at 25 i never thought i would be saying, "oh to be 16 again!"  it's a shame.
i feel i have a lot in common with that 1 ton man you know?  trapped in a body, a prisoner...it's sad.
and it is a day by day thing.  heck, i have to take it hour by hour.
the joint pain is enough sometimes that i cry!
i do my hardest to find even the tiniest of all things...because i feel useless a lot of the times.
so posting here, even though i can't physically tend to patients the way i was trained...i can still at times offer advice/education..like you do as well.  you gave me a lot of help with going through the SSD process!
i have a few cats. :-) see...i'm on ya about the kitties!  so many animals are put down because people throw them away, and it takes a good soul to adopt a cat.  without my FieldPea i'de be lost!  seriously!  and i have a great boyfriend too, but my life wouldn't be complete without Pea.  silly? no...she makes me happy.
i see you're computer savvy...and that's great.  i know nadda about ebay.  you might have a GOOD thing there...perhaps sitting and taking a few months to plan a small vintage business?  that's sweet!  i would dig that!  you obviously have an eye for jewelry and vintage items...whenever the chance comes to get to a consignment shoppe or thrift store...take note of hot items, given a good deal buy it and start cataloguing you know?  people make a lot of income doing this.  very cool.
 
i'm not going to sugar coat anything...no one can feel exactly the way you do, and that goes for everyone too.  each individual is unique in how they cope...and some take longer than others, and that's ok.
hang in there tiger!
Active, Severe Rheumatory Arthritis. Crohns. AS. Chiari Malformation & Right Brain venous anomoly. Partial complex seizures. Emphysema. Rheumatic Lung & Heart. MVP and Tricuspid prolapse. Had Lymes disease for 10 years.
Meds: Humira 40mg Q 4 days; Pred 20mg prn; Pentasa 4G daily; Imuran 50mg; Dilaudid 4mg; Diazepam 5mg; Avinza 30mg; Reglan; Meclizine; LidoDerm; MiraLax & too many others.


missie1227
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2005
Total Posts : 751
   Posted 7/12/2006 6:16 PM (GMT -7)   

thank you erin and friends i have an addiction to ebay. i buy and sell on there adn sometimes i make money and sometimesd i lose and sometimes i break even. i sleep all day and am up all night and feel extremely lonely.

i was reading the paper today about a poor kid  from cocco who was 21 had a car crash, had to have a  back op, and then came away worse for it. he used to love to surf, he could no longer wrok and surf the two things he lived for doing, he lost his money and was evicted from his apartment, he took his surf board out one last time and had a gun and shot himself in the head on the ocean.......

the point is that kid had his whole life ahead of him and at 21, he had a botched op ( maybe from the same doctor who did mine i dont know) was on chronic pain meds and had no money, and no help no support, the government as well as  dcotors are responsible for this kids death as far as i am concerned. now he is done for.

i am 50 lived my life, had a kid, went to college, had a job/career and lived longer than many on this planet in 3rd world countries. i was pain free until 02' but had plenty of depression issues before this crash made me worse. sh-t happens i know.

look at chris reeves and his poor wife. they didnt complain about their lot in life. i wish i could be more courageous. my old man wont let me have a kitty as a friend b/c where i live is too small

i would love a friend a kitty.

oh well. thats life


9-02 crash w/ C-5-6-7 anterior/posterior fusion in neck w/11 screws and 4 metal plates. multilevel HNP at T & L section. FMS, PA in dec 05. on SSDI after 2.5 yr wait. sezuires, CTS, IBS ( C & D). norco, xanax, predisone shots. i dont know what else is wrong with me and neither does anyone else!!!


MelsyTX
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2006
Total Posts : 97
   Posted 7/14/2006 12:45 PM (GMT -7)   

Who gives a **** what your "old man" wants, you go and get your self a kitty!!!! I don't know what I would do with out my "orangeman" I feel for you girly! I do! I know exactly what you are going thru. I am fortunate to still be working. Its the only way to have insurance and I have a wonderful group of people I work for. However I am very lonely. I divorced my "all day pot smoking musician of a husband" who had no job, no ambition a 12 yo little girl who did as she pleased (and he let he) and I moved to Texas to start over. I fear for what future hold for me, I have no friends, no social life to speak of. It is exhausting to just get to work and back eyes I don't have the energy to "go out", so I prop my foot up on some ice and just watch TV all night until I fall asleep (or a version of sleep)  I tell you what, you chat me anytime!!!! I don't have a pc at home, I'm a Monday thru Friday 8-5 on liner cool   I have my own bouts of depression and now my doctor believes I may be bi-polar (great, one more problem to write down on my list)

I can give you my $0.25 worth of advice though....I look at life like a messy chest of drawers and you know you need to clean it out. Empty out all of the drawers, go thru the contents, throw out what you DON'T NEED and start tidy-ing things up...ONE DRAWER at a time. You can't do it in one day, but you will feel good as you watch your self putting the drawers back in...My email is in my profile and feel free to contact me ANYTIME. In the mean time be well and go get a kitty!!!!!!!!!!!


35 yo F w/history of fx R heel and nerve damage radiating to spine. Oxycontin 20 bid, Vicoden 10 qid, Soma 350 tid, Cymbalta 60 qd, Lexapro 10 qd, Neurontin 600 tid. Debating foot fusion and nerve stimulator implant 


erin.K
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2005
Total Posts : 3148
   Posted 7/14/2006 1:05 PM (GMT -7)   
that's a great outlook!
and i do the same...it takes every ounce of stamina to shower, get dressed, go to where i need to if i need to be there & home that @ day's end i'm on the couch or in bed reading or watching a film.
rest is important...with the severity of disease, one should never consider himself lazy...it takes a lot more energy expendature for an ill person to do what a healthy person does.
glad to meet ya melsy!
Active, Severe Rheumatory Arthritis. Crohns. AS. Chiari Malformation & Right Brain venous anomoly. Partial complex seizures. Emphysema. Rheumatic Lung & Heart. MVP and Tricuspid prolapse. Had Lymes disease for 10 years.
Meds: Humira 40mg Q 4 days; Pred 20mg prn; Pentasa 4G daily; Imuran 50mg; Dilaudid 4mg; Diazepam 5mg; Avinza 30mg; Reglan; Meclizine; LidoDerm; MiraLax & too many others.


razzle51
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 763
   Posted 7/14/2006 3:56 PM (GMT -7)   
I did forget to say Dr. put me on Lexapro , the best thing that ever happen to me. Nothing to be ashamed of . I take it a day at a time too. Best wishes .
Syringomyelia T4-T10
Chiari Malformation
Decompression Surgery 1999
 
We are normal people, trying to live normal lives,
with bodies that have forgotten what normal is
 
 
"Remember I'm pullin' for ya, we're all in this together" Red Green


TeeB
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2005
Total Posts : 229
   Posted 7/14/2006 4:40 PM (GMT -7)   
Missie,

Girl, you have not lived your life yet. You are only half way there! Pull up the boots and go walking. I am at home due to my RA, Asthma, Fibro etc at the age 42 and fighting for my SSD. I have been a workaholic all my life. It has been an adjustment. Like the others said one hour at a time. I will look for you online at night, I suffer from insomnia too. Then we can chat or go shopping together online. Consider getting connected to your local Church. They have an abundance support family. Always something going on.

I will continue to pray for you and Morris. Please smile. You have your son and he needs his Mom even at 21 even if he doesn't want to admit it right now.

Take care or you,

Tee
Trust in the Lord with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct your paths.  Proverbs 3:5-6
 
Dx:  Rheumatoid Arthiris, Fibro, Polyarthritis, Asthma, IBS, Migraines, TMJ, Insomnia, Ischemic Colitis, Mitral Valve Prolapse, Vasovagal Syncope, Low Blood Pressure, Allergies, Bladder etc...
 
 
 


missie1227
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2005
Total Posts : 751
   Posted 7/14/2006 8:34 PM (GMT -7)   

thank you all i am a nervous wreck he is all i have. he seems to think he should be there and not here for  some mission?

i could spank him still he is not too big for that but if he wantsto go again i cant stop him. he says he wantsto move there and live there permanently!!!! why?

my family moved from the russian progroms and was in steerage for years and years and finally got the chance to be in america in 1900.

now he wantsto go there? it seems to me like he is going back in time to be among persecution again. i dont know why.

i told him no where is it perfect to live but at least in america you can be free and have less bombing here. agree, it can happen here also but not as likely. it is safer here.

if it was west palm beach that was bombed i would get out of florida, there is not way to stop or figure out where the bombs are going to land next.

gosh sad


9-02 crash w/ C-5-6-7 anterior/posterior fusion in neck w/11 screws and 4 metal plates. multilevel HNP at T & L section. FMS, PA in dec 05. on SSDI after 2.5 yr wait. sezuires, CTS, IBS ( C & D). norco, xanax, predisone shots. i dont know what else is wrong with me and neither does anyone else!!!


erin.K
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2005
Total Posts : 3148
   Posted 7/16/2006 10:51 AM (GMT -7)   
perhaps he has a calling? it does happen. i wrote you this morning...hope ya got it.
trying not to take sides on this...but i can empathize with your son after making a very VERY difficult decision on not taking a grant to go to Africa last year. basically everyone talked me out of it...but in my heart, i wish i went.
((((( big hug )))))
Active, Severe Rheumatory Arthritis. Crohns. AS. Chiari Malformation & Right Brain venous anomoly. Partial complex seizures. Emphysema. Rheumatic Lung & Heart. MVP and Tricuspid prolapse. Had Lymes disease for 10 years.
Meds: Humira 40mg Q 4 days; Pred 20mg prn; Pentasa 4G daily; Imuran 50mg; Dilaudid 4mg; Diazepam 5mg; Avinza 30mg; Reglan; Meclizine; LidoDerm; MiraLax & too many others.


annecal
Regular Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 109
   Posted 7/16/2006 9:44 PM (GMT -7)   
I am 29 and am often housebound. I took up knitting and it's been a savior for me, I feel productive and it's interesting and challenging. My husband was killed by an elderly driver last year, a month after our first anniversary and a month before his 33rd birthday. Most of our only year of marriage I was sick as a dog, went from a size 4 to a 20 on the pred, every side effect you can imagine, then fell and crushed my ankle. A month after I was in remission and off crutches/bedrest, Adam was killed. I flared again, and now also have AS. My dad was just diagnosed with cancer (hopefully he'll be ok- caught early). And you know what? crap happens. It does. Life really ****ing sucks sometimes. But you just have to try and be grateful for what you've got, look inside yourself and find something that makes you happy and do it. Otherwise I'd have killed myself by now. Just think, if you die tomorrow, what would you really be pissed off that you'd never done, or wasted so much time doing? Then fix it. As best YOU can. Or go crazy. That's how I look at it.

MelsyTX
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2006
Total Posts : 97
   Posted 7/17/2006 7:45 AM (GMT -7)   
Big hugs for Missie ((((((((hugs)))))))) I just wanted to let you know I'm thinking about you. I post at the chromic pain board a lot too. Come on over when ever you like. yeah

missie1227
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2005
Total Posts : 751
   Posted 7/17/2006 8:54 PM (GMT -7)   

thank you to all!! have my son back home for a while at least. he is obessed with the state of Israel and wants to live there permanently. he is disenfranchesd with the usa.

i wouldnt mind if they would stop being attacked and live in peace with hte neighbors but i dont think this is ever going to happen b/c too many want to wipe out the jews there.

there are 6 billion people living in the world today and only 15 million jews worldwide. this means they are only less than 1/10 of 1% of the entire population in the world. a drop in the bucket compared to the rest of the world. why cant we all live in peace, when they knock out all the jews the christians will be next

as the Muslims want ALL to  be one whole religion and nothing else. i dont understand it, it is like the crusades once again in the world.
it is depressing. to think that we have not evolved to live and let live in this world.
9-02 crash w/ C-5-6-7 anterior/posterior fusion in neck w/11 screws and 4 metal plates. multilevel HNP at T & L section. FMS, PA in dec 05. on SSDI after 2.5 yr wait. sezuires, CTS, IBS ( C & D). norco, xanax, predisone shots. i dont know what else is wrong with me and neither does anyone else!!!


MelsyTX
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2006
Total Posts : 97
   Posted 7/18/2006 12:42 PM (GMT -7)   
How are you doing today sweetie??? I was thinking about you all week
35 yo F w/history of fx R heel and nerve damage radiating to spine. Oxycontin 20 bid, Vicoden 10 qid, Soma 350 tid, Cymbalta 60 qd, Lexapro 10 qd, Neurontin 600 tid. Debating foot fusion and nerve stimulator implant 


missie1227
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2005
Total Posts : 751
   Posted 7/18/2006 6:17 PM (GMT -7)   
i am doing better today as i have my son by my side for now. it has helped my depression and i have wanted to do more but still in pain i mask it so my kid will not see how much i hurt, so i am putting my best foot forward...thank you for asking i ffeel like i have some family with all you guys who have responded and that has made all the difference in the world to me!!!!!!!!!!!! i love each and every one of you on this board
9-02 crash w/ C-5-6-7 anterior/posterior fusion in neck w/11 screws and 4 metal plates. multilevel HNP at T & L section. FMS, PA in dec 05. on SSDI after 2.5 yr wait. sezuires, CTS, IBS ( C & D). norco, xanax, predisone shots. i dont know what else is wrong with me and neither does anyone else!!!


annecal
Regular Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 109
   Posted 7/20/2006 7:32 AM (GMT -7)   
SO glad he's home! If your hands are ok, I REALLY suggest learning how to knit!!!

missie1227
Veteran Member


Date Joined Nov 2005
Total Posts : 751
   Posted 7/21/2006 4:41 PM (GMT -7)   
thank you....i am hanging in there while i have him home with me. he is helping me loads,  i will feel the loss when he goes back to school next week but for now i am ok.....you all dont know but i absoluetly adore my son and he is all i live for.....more later guys!!!!

9-02 crash w/ C-5-6-7 anterior/posterior fusion in neck w/11 screws and 4 metal plates. multilevel HNP at T & L section. FMS, PA in dec 05. on SSDI after 2.5 yr wait. sezuires, CTS, IBS ( C & D). norco, xanax, predisone shots. i dont know what else is wrong with me and neither does anyone else!!!

New Topic Post Reply Printable Version
Forum Information
Currently it is Wednesday, December 07, 2016 3:29 PM (GMT -7)
There are a total of 2,734,295 posts in 301,200 threads.
View Active Threads


Who's Online
This forum has 151323 registered members. Please welcome our newest member, judy.
330 Guest(s), 10 Registered Member(s) are currently online.  Details
cupcakespinkgal, Albannach, dismissed, jennydancingfish, porkysgal, Girlie, pmm73, Jingles1234, Cowboy10, Broncofan18


Follow HealingWell.com on Facebook  Follow HealingWell.com on Twitter  Follow HealingWell.com on Pinterest
Advertisement
Advertisement

©1996-2016 HealingWell.com LLC  All rights reserved.

Advertise | Privacy Policy & Disclaimer