Don't feel bad about how you are feeling! On one hand, like you said, it is a great relief to know there is proof to your pain - something the docs can work with. On the other hand, accepting that there is this problem you have to deal with can be hard to cope with, even though we have already KNOWN somethign was not right. There is an acceptance and adjustment period we all have to go through, and it can be difficult. Wanting a little extra attnetion and love from our spouses isn't anything to feel guilty about. It is possible, once he can focus on how upset you are and really listen, you'll get that caring you need. On the other hand, men are strange..... getting that respsonse from them (without asking for it) can be like pulling teeth.
I have had great success (knock on wood) with plaquenil. I hope you have the same. It's take a little bit to really kick in, but it does work and I've been very happy on it.