thank you everyone so very much for the outpouring of support & good thoughts.
as i may be very much A) crippled or B) comatose for the next 3 days, i wanted to post now how things went today @ my ssdi hearing of which i waited 12 months for.(this is the 3rd appeal to fill ya's in).
oy!...no sleep since saturday nite so a zombie i was.
i had help getting to & back home which was a total blessing.
i got there at the building @ 11:30am (trial date time was 12:30pm)...I WAITED THREE AND A HALF HOURS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
mind ya' i can't sit up in a chair for more than 15 minutes tops...so i was literally laying down on the ground in the lobby, lol, sad yeah...but wtf?!? i'm not kidding when i am telling them I'M DISABLED!
my judge was "late" i guess; or held up in another trial. so 3:30 i was seen.
they send me into the room; just me, the judge, & the stenographer.
i was sworn in before my arse hit the seat!
things felt rushed/it felt hurried/he was a bit tough to keep up with but heck...the man was running 4 hours behind schedule so...ah well right?
i was cool as a cucumber, i didn't break once, nerves were intact...
i did most of the talking; the judge asked mostly questions about the things that I HOPED he would: sitting/standing/and hand grip/and mobility. plus what i was able to do at my old job right before i had to leave for good.
my hearing was about 6.5 minutes...6 1/2 minutes!!!!!
i kid you not...
and that's about it. a few people i talked to already had asked me if i had a "sympathetic judge"? i dunno'! he seemed impartial! like he had NO OPINION.
but...MY CASE FILE was VERY INTERESTING! to my surprise THEY DID have my complete medical records & THEY DID interview ALL of my doctors!
all of my Dr.'s reports basically said, "This girl is crap!"
so i dunno' folks...whoever "decides" if you are approved or denied obviously do not take into consideration physicians' opinions! they all agreed that i'm disabled...but the state of NJ doesn't? hmm? beats me.
oh yally...umh...i don't know too much either about SSDI, but i have always been employed "on the books" since i was in the 6th or 7th grade (12 years old?) of course part time. through H.S. always 20hrs per week or more and in college up to 2005 i was part time always employed. so never unemployed. i have no idea how many quarters? but my W2 forms i find are dated all the way back to 1995.
i do not think i ever was termed "full time" employed because i worked my way through H.S. and college so i don't think i ever managed 40+ hours per week all year (only on winter break i think 40+)
the one thing that really broke me was when the judge spit back to me: "So right now you lead a very unproductive life."
that made me choke...i mean yes...i can stand just long enough to make a pot of coffe in the morning; IF i get to make it through a shower that's a BIG DEAL! a day full of pain, taking meds, trying to get a few mouth fulls of food down...
well yeah, Sir that's about it.
but to hear it shot back at you like that?...that hurt.
so then "hearing adjourned case closed"
i think he mumbled something like i'll get written notice 7 to 30 days? (i couldn't understand what he said.)
i'm not expecting to get approved for ssdi.
i think that this has escalated to something greater. i think it's a case of total age discrimination.
if i am denied this time again, i'm sure an attorney would just eat this up.
i watched 4 other claimants "get coached" by their lawyers today as i sat & waited 3 hours in agony.
they told them what to say, what to exagerate,...it was SICK!
1 girl was an hour late, she RAN into the lobby...nevertheless, i think the judge ripped her a new A**hole
and the young man that was being prepped by his lawyer? (he's able to play soccer with his kids by the way) i heard them say "that didn't sound too promising."
it was very unsettling and very sickening what i saw being done there today. the attorneys & their "clients" being coached...the "disabled" claimants all of whom got up & walked & looked they could be in the darn Olympics compared to me. (me? haven't showered since saturday...i think THAT IS A PROBLEM?)
so i don't know folks...we shall see right?
and yes, this was the easiest thing i have ever done i my life. today was the first time when i was asked "how i was"...i did not have to answer "fine thanks".
it was very cathartic to be able to tell the absolute truth, although it hurt; but i didn't have to pretend that things were "alright".
you are all fabulous, each and every one of you, thank you for being there.
gimme' a few days to recoup, lol.
Arthritis Forum Moderator & Co-Pilot
Active Severe Rheumatory Arthritis. AS. Crohns Disease. A.Chiari Malformation & right brain venous anomoly. Partial Complex Seizures (under control!). MVP & Tricuspid Valve Prolapse. Rheumatic heart & lung. Kidney Stones (oh joy). Previous Lymes Disease for 10 years.
Meds: Remicade 600mg Q3weeks; Intra-articular knee injections; 6MP; Mesalamine; Prednisone; Entocort; Meclizine; Azithromycin; Tigan; Reglan; LidoDerm; Diazepam; Diclofenac; Celebrex; Dilaudid; OxyContin.
Post Edited (erin.K) : 11/13/2007 8:26:36 PM (GMT-7)