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pityu98
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2003
Total Posts : 132
   Posted 3/27/2004 5:40 AM (GMT -7)   
got so very depressed past few days. but thanks to a friend's statement, i found my trigger. unfortunately, it's church. was becoming more active in my episcopal church... altar guild, chalice bearer, reader, lay eucharistic visitor. now i cry just going there. break apart at the smallest thing. so what do i do now? just totally cut off from it all? afraid to go there at all. cry and cycle down every time. calls up all these memories of all i had done and how little i can do. also how i'm nothing and can't do anything right. can't seem to read prayer book. lose my place, read words wrong. have "retired" from reading and altar guild, etc. but is totally cutting myself off good for me?
linda


HW_laura_s_2002
Regular Member


Date Joined Jan 2003
Total Posts : 116
   Posted 3/28/2004 1:15 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Linda,

I hope you are feeling better. Once you find a trigger it make it easier to work through it. Just take your time and go back at it slowly until you feel comfortable again. Right now it may feel like you can't do anything right but when you cycle, especially rapid, it makes it feel that way because it feels confusing.

Have you been able to read any of the Bipolar Survival Guild and if so is it helping any? Mood charting is a good way to also find your triggers. I haven't done that in a while but my new therapist wants me to so we can see if there are things that may be triggers me.

Take care,

Laura
"It is not easy to live life sometimes and face the world with a smile when you're crying inside. It takes a lot of courage to reach down inside yourself, hold on to that strength that's still there, and know that tomorrow is a new day with new possibilities. But if you can hold on long enough to see this through, you'll come out a new person - stonger, with more understanding and with new pride in yourself from knowing you made it"       Kathy Obara
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pityu98
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2003
Total Posts : 132
   Posted 3/29/2004 5:37 AM (GMT -7)   
laura:

blasted cycling! whole thing went away friday night like a bubble popped. felt good yesterday... went for a walk, cooked, paid attention to my pets. problem is i'm scared of the dark side. figuring the bubble popped because i went to see my spiritual advisor. felt better after talking with her. but i'm afraid the other shoe will drop and i'll be back in the darkness. yes, have been limping thru the book. can't go near it when i'm down... brings out really strong feelings of denial.
linda


BoyBlue
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2004
Total Posts : 22
   Posted 4/9/2004 9:36 AM (GMT -7)   
Awww Linda,

Keep your chin-up Darling, there is light at the end of the tunnel.

I think Laura is right mood charting is deff. a good idea, give it a go.
BoyBlue

Bi-Polar Disorder Moderator
 
 
It's better to light one small candle than to curse the darkness

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