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jes4mywife
New Member


Date Joined Jan 2008
Total Posts : 2
   Posted 1/4/2008 6:46 AM (GMT -7)   
i just came across this site and it almost brung tears to my eyes to realize that im not the only one who goes through what i have been going through for years. Im married to a wonderful woman with exceptional values, but at times i dont know who she is..we have been together for 17 years but married only 6 years, we have four wonderful kids together, we used to have our difficulties when we were younger but i thought it was apart of growing up. I did think some of the things were over the top, it seemed like a challenge to try to bring calm to our relationship,, but as we got older and married which i thought would make her happy and we have peace in our relationship but it didnt work. There are times when all i have to say is one word and she would fly off the handle like im some outsider or say things to me that she know would hurt my feeliings and for along time i wondered how and why you would do something deliberate to hurt the one you suppose to love. she or no one in her family has told me about the illness but i have heard from people who she went to school with and common friends that we know from earlier in life and everyone says she loco and have many other crazy names for her but i always took it as kids being kids. I love being married and having a family but at the expense that it seems i i will never have that calm loving relationship that i thought i would have when i got married. Our daughter was dianosed with a form of epilepsy that doctors say will grow out of my wife didnt want to put her on meds and im thinking that the same thing happend with her, she was diagnosed with a mental health problem and didnt want to get on meds for fear of being labeled. I love my wife and kids, but it seems that i can never make her happy at least i use to think that everything that went wrong in our relationship was because of me..after researching about being bi polar i understand thats what the problem is. im not  a doctor i dont know for sure but all the symptoms are there...What can i do? How can i convince her to seek treatment in order for her to get better and to improve our relationship.. I was gonna leave her that was my new years resolution because i dont want to have to keep arguing with her all the time and with all the hurtful things she says to me text me i had growns for verbal abuse and other reasons why it wouldnt be wrong for me to leave her because of how she writes me and says she feels about me...im rambling because i finally found somewhere to talk about the situation thanks for being here and i would appreciate any advice you can give me to help me stay with my wife and family

Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 1/4/2008 9:59 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi and Welcome to HW

I do not have Bi polar .My son I believe is bi polar and he will not go and get help either........
My heart really goes out to you and I want to say that here YOU will find NO judgement and that ppl are here to help and supporrt you thru the trials and hurdles you face
THIS is a real illness and needs medical attention IMHO but yoiu have to have her WANT to get that help I think .......Others may have a different viewpoint and that is what is so great about here we all can come together throw things out there for you or others to think over and try to come up witrh a solution ya know
I believe you are hurting and hurting so much ...I understand the verbal abuse and what it does the scars it leaves behind forever........'
I lived like that for so long too long and I will never live like that again
I am going to be 54 this month and i am HAPPY yes I have Some DD and issues but I am HAPPY...........FINALLY...
That my friend has to do with the choices I have made the TX I have found and the friends and ppl here with the caring and support thru the really bad times ........

I know ppl will give you some input and you will get to know them as you go along
Like I did say it like a family here and it is wonderful to be able to bare your soul and know others have been or are where you are and UNDERSTAND..........
I am answering your post as I am going thru many problems with my eldest son with this same DD and I feel that I know how you are hurting to a point....
I love my son unconditionally .......I just wish he would get some help ........

Please do stay with us and read more threads as you are here ......Resources in the side in yellow may help too

Take care and God Bless
Glad you found us here.....

Others will be along.......

LYN
.


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           Wishing all a Better and Healthier New Year in 2008  
 
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serafena
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 3715
   Posted 1/5/2008 4:03 PM (GMT -7)   
jes4mywife,

Hello and welcome to the board. We're glad you found us and I hope we can give you some insight into bipolar and maybe help you convince your wife to see a doctor. Nonetheless, the first thing you've got to know is that she has to make that decision herself. You can help her make it, but bipolar is a chronic condition, which needs to be treated for life. She will probably feel sooo much better once she's being treated, if she does indeed have bipolar, but she needs to take care of herself. You can't do it for her. However, if I had to make a decision between losing my husband and seeing a doctor, you bet your bippy I'd be seeing a doc.

So feel free to ask questions, ask for suggestions, and just vent, and Lyn is right -- no one is judging you here. Fire away.

serafena
Serafena
Co-Moderator, Bipolar Forum

Bipolar II
It is a melancholy of mine own, compounded of many simples, extracted from many objects, and indeed the sundry contemplation of my travels, in which my often rumination wraps me in a most humorous sadness. -- William Shakespeare


jes4mywife
New Member


Date Joined Jan 2008
Total Posts : 2
   Posted 1/5/2008 4:38 PM (GMT -7)   
thanks for the replies to my post. I feel alot better already!! and to know that its not me that causing the anger that its the disease i think /know i can deal with her alot better now. Instead of fueling the argument i willl just be more articulate and resolve the matter without stressing myself out which indirectly had my self esteem low, had me feeling very down myself. I ask her yesterday was it anything she had to tell me , after talking around the subject but she said nothing. I need some suggestions on getting her to see a doctor
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