Hi there CloudySky and Welcome to HealingWell,
I hear from a lot of people in Depression and Epilepsy who have been newly diagnosed so I know how tough it is being newly diagnosed with anything. Some people simply try to ignore it, some people try to fight against it, and some people lash out at those around them that they feel safest with. It is completely normal for people to do this, but it is important not to get stuck in a rut trying to ignore it. You should try to move on, but in your own time at your own pace. For me, reading about Epilepsy helped a great deal with my diagnosis. Perhaps reading about Bi-Polar will help you come to terms with your diagnosis?
You mentioned that you had hurt people in the past, but it is important to remember that it was the past. It is a good sign that you are able to talk about the past and the bad things that happened. It sounds like you are in the process of moving on and thats good news to hear.
The anger and irritability you are talking about may be due to a lot of things. The anger towards your diagnosis, your meds may make you feel more irritable and if you are down at the moment, that may cause anger too. The important thing to remember is that some of this will go away in the coming months.
I am glad that you have found HealingWell and the Bi-Polar Moderators will know much more about
specific resources to help you. You can also have a look at the resource section here at HW (http://www.healingwell.com/community/default.aspx?f=13&m=350839
) Please keep posting as many people find that it is a good way to work through some of the issues they face. You never know... you might be able to help other people on here as well!
Everyone has a guardian angel. They help pick you up when you fall, comfort you through your times of need and help you appreciate the times when things are going well.
Moderator - Epilepsy Forum
Co-Moderator - Depression Forum