TOP 10 THINGS TO BE CAREFUL ABOUT WITH A BP SPOUSE

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katy_33
Regular Member


Date Joined Jan 2008
Total Posts : 147
   Posted 1/27/2008 9:31 AM (GMT -7)   
hi hw forum members,
i an new here and love to be here,i wanna know about bp more .pls advise.
any suggestions are highly welcome.
thanks
katy

serafena
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 3715
   Posted 1/28/2008 10:22 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Katy_33,

Welcome to the forum. I hope we can help you drum up 10 things to be careful about. Letsee.... I'll start you off with one --
Give him or her a lot of space to deal with their moods when they ask for it. Moods can come fast and furious and sometimes dealing with people, even loved ones, feels really hard.

Two, gently make sure they're taking their medications as prescribed. Don't be pushy, but just be supportive and aware.

How's that to get you going?
serafena
Serafena
Co-Moderator, Bipolar Forum

Bipolar II
It is a melancholy of mine own, compounded of many simples, extracted from many objects, and indeed the sundry contemplation of my travels, in which my often rumination wraps me in a most humorous sadness. -- William Shakespeare


loving frustrated wife
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jun 2007
Total Posts : 865
   Posted 1/28/2008 11:21 AM (GMT -7)   
Here's another....

Stand up for yourself and let them know you will NOT put up with bad behavior towards you or be abused as a result of their moods. You are there to love and support, you will listen to whatever they need if they need to vent. But they can NOT take their mood out on you. THAT they must be responsible for themselves.

You as a spouse do not do the person you love any favors to let them get away with mistreating you because of their BP. You actually harm them in a way because they then think it is okay....and it is NOT. That doesn't mean you have to be hostile back. You can responsibly communicate whatever you need with strength, love, compassion and conviction.

LFW

katy_33
Regular Member


Date Joined Jan 2008
Total Posts : 147
   Posted 1/28/2008 11:54 AM (GMT -7)   
thanks serafena &lfw,
i would keep in mind your nice words always .
cheers
katy

sukay
Veteran Member


Date Joined Feb 2003
Total Posts : 1432
   Posted 1/28/2008 11:57 AM (GMT -7)   

Hi Katy,

Another one to add is please don't belittle them when they are going through med changes and trying to get stabilized on one. Don't say things like, what is your problem, why do I have to constantly repeat myself, aren't you paying any attention to what I am saying? It is hard to get adjusted on a new medication and sometimes things things get a little hairy in the process. Also don't ask him if he has taken his medication today right after something has happened like maybe a irritable time, etc. Ask him that question when he is more calmer.

If he is having a difficult day, ask him what you can do to help him and if he dosen't know, offer him some suggestions. There may be times when he feels less social and you can try to to find other ways to help him feel better by finding something that you two can do together. If he wants time to himself, honor that too. A lot of time I just need to just chill by myself, rest get into  my own thoughts, etc.

But always remember what LFW has shared with you about standing up for yourself. You need to teach him that he should not be lashing out at you and that you won't tolerate that. Be supportive. That is what counts.

Eventually, with proper medications things will start to get better.

Please continue to post. We have both Bipolars and those that are marriend/live with bipolars. You'll get a lot of feedback from both sides.


~sukay~
Diagnosed Bipolar - August 2004
     Crohns disease - 1995 
Arthritis & Fibromyalgia 

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