Bipolar IIIt is a melancholy of mine own, compounded of many simples, extracted from many objects, and indeed the sundry contemplation of my travels, in which my often rumination wraps me in a most humorous sadness. -- William Shakespeare
Serafena, thanks for thinking of me. I have not been doing well at all (big surprise). It's really been affecting me this past week. I have muscle tension in my shoulders and neck like I've never experienced before. I am feeling a tremendous amount of stress. It's coming at me from all directions. Home life is stressful with my bf...still so much yelling and anger in arguments. I finally sought counselling for abused women. I don't like the thought, but I just can't stand being yelled at. I'm feeling guilty all the time at home, and deep down I know that's wrong. I'm not doing anything that I should be feeling guilty about. To top it all off, I have been in a depression since before the holidays. I was starting to feel better about a week and a half ago, but then crashed again. I don't think the Lamictal is working yet. I'm just got to 200mg, so we'll see about that. My pdoc has been great. There's also a lot of stress with school right now. And also, I have been overwhlemed with housework. I've tried asking my bf to do some things, but he seems to get really irritated with it, which I don't appreciate.
Throughout this past week, my bf has noticed just how stressed I am and he's tried to be there for me.
It's just all a lot to handle.
Overwhelmed is the best way to describe how I am feeling. I'll post again tomorrow or this week. I appreciate the reach out. I am sorry I've been so quiet lately. I really am here for all of you.
I am sorry you are going through a rough time right now. But I am glad you have reached out for help, I wish you did not have to deal with such behavior from your bf, but maybe this will help you see what you do not and should not put up with.
I hope those meds start working soon, and remember we are always hear to vent to, even if you are just having a bad day.
Thank you all so much for your support (much needed).
I have another appointment with my support worker this week and with my new counsellor. Bf and I have had a few more fights so...it will be good to talk about that.
I'm starting to realize that this depression I'm in is a major episode. I think initially it was triggered by all of the holiday stuff, then with all of the other stressors, it has made it worse. It's been at least 2 months now, no relief. I am confused about the Lamictal b/c I've had so much stress I am wondering how on earth it could even work anyway?...
Anyway, thanks again for everything. Every single hour is such a struggle for me right now.