Bipolar IIIt is a melancholy of mine own, compounded of many simples, extracted from many objects, and indeed the sundry contemplation of my travels, in which my often rumination wraps me in a most humorous sadness. -- William Shakespeare
Well you said you were going to ask for a higher dosage of your lamictal so I am assuming you will be seeing your psychiatrist very soon? If not you should make that appointment as soon as possible. Be sure to let your doctor know everything that you stated to us here. Maybe you can print it and read it to him/her.
You said, "The thing I'm asking is for someone to explain to me how I can hate these activities so much and feel so disgusted by myself with them, and yet talk about them like they're no big deal, that I'm in control. Does anyone have any answers for me?"
You mentioned that you were in therapy for a long time. Are you still in therapy? I think you need to bring this up with your therapist to find out your answer to this question. If not currently in therapy I would suggest that it is time to go back to it. Most people who have bipolar see one on a regular basis.
Good luck. I hope you follow up with your doctors.