Thank you for reaching out to me. I have been thinking about you too. All of my HW family means so much to me, it's just been the worst time for me.
I am so glad to hear that you are loving school. When will you be done? I am done May 2nd. Almost there. My last report I am sitting at a 96.67 average. I am blown away by that considering the state I have been in.
I hope FBF can find healing soon. I worry for him, as I know you do as well. But with your love and support, and with the way you have stuck together, I believe you both can get through everything.
I can't believe you haven't heard anything from the ultrasound. I am sending many many positive vibes your way...
Every single day for me is the bigggest struggle, and I'm really getting tired of it. I have been deeply depressed since before Christmas. There was just way too much stress over the holidays for me, and so it triggered this episode and it just keeps on. I have been under a continous amount of tremendous stress ever since. Bf and I have not been doing well. Huge fights have lead me to seek counselling with an abused women counsellor. He just keeps yelling at me and I can't handle it with all that I am dealing with. And it's not right. Then, the worst weekend ever, last weekend...Long story short--I went to my Mom's for the weekend. Came back, asked what he did while I was gone...He said he stayed home, then I found a receipt that showed he was out downtown that night. There was also an unfamiliar phone # on our phone, so I called it and a girl answered...And when I got home it didn't look like he had slept in our bed (only one cover was pulled back). So with all of that I fell apart. I thought he cheated on me. It was devastating b/c I have never had any trust issues with him; I never thought he would do that to me, ever. We talked it all out, and he did have an explanation for everything (the girl was someone we know, she hung out with him and a bunch of other guys that night--and when she called he was already gone...She was just calling our house b/c her and the guys were wondering where he was...) After we talked, I believed him. The last couple of days, once in a while, I will wonder in my head...just still thinking about all the circumstances of that night etc. I am basically confused. He went out last night. It was hard for me. It's just been the worst stress I've had in a very long time. I feel so alone.
Anyway, great update eh? Dutchie--thank you so much for writing. It's actually helping me to write about all of this.
Bipolar II, Anxiety/Panic Disorder
Clonazepam .5mg as needed, Trazodone 50mg/day & Lamictal 100 mg/day