Legal issues, just need to talk - newbie

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enoughalready
New Member


Date Joined Feb 2008
Total Posts : 10
   Posted 2/15/2008 1:11 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi everyone, I don't know if I am in the right place but I tried to look for a forum that pertained to my issues and couldn't so I turned to you all. First of all, I and my 17 year old daughter suffer from Bipolar Disorder.  She was diagnosed at 15 and doing really well on meds until she met a boy and since then she has been horrible.  They have been together 1 1/2 years and I finally put a stop to things. To make a long story short, she was at the movies and he showed up and got into a fight with the boys she was with.  It turned out he was severly injured and now my daughter faces aggrivated assualt charges Felony Class 5 charges even though she didn't touch him. He told the cops that she had him set up.  Ok so that is the story.
 
I am sitting here in my bed and I guess I am depressed over this whole thing.  I thought we had a handle on our lives and then this.   I have been on shaky grounds lately and try to keep those feelings to myself since my poor husband has been through alot lately.
 
I had a miserable childhood and thought that as an adult maybe things would change.  I thank God that my husband is a great man and that my other daughter is no trouble at all (she doesn't clean her room but who does).
 
In the past year we have incurred $10,000 in attorney's fee's because of the trouble she gets us into and we can no longer afford another attorney without selling our house, then where will we go.
 
I just feel down and say life sucks for me, sorry I just needed to vent and didn't know where to turn. It helps just writing.
 
I simpathize with all of you out there cause I know what you also are going through.
 
Why did God make us this way?  I hate that we don't look physically sick so no one believes how mentally sick we are.
 
I am on SS and have been told numerous times that I look fine to work.  I don't feel it is anyones business to notify them that it isn't a physical issue I suffer with.
 
Ok now I am just typing for the nothing.....

serafena
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 3715
   Posted 2/16/2008 1:18 PM (GMT -7)   
Enough already,

First let me welcome you to Healing Well. I hope we can offer you some support and company.

As to the legal issue, I'm totally stumped. I have no legal background and don't know what to say. All I can do is offer my sympathy that even these issues which would feel overwhelming and impossible to someone without an illness feel twice as hard to someone who is struggling with depression and bipolar.

have you seen your doctor lately? If your depression is acting up, you could probably stand to have your meds re-evaluated.

good luck to you.
serafena
Serafena
Co-Moderator, Bipolar Forum

Bipolar II
It is a melancholy of mine own, compounded of many simples, extracted from many objects, and indeed the sundry contemplation of my travels, in which my often rumination wraps me in a most humorous sadness. -- William Shakespeare


loving frustrated wife
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jun 2007
Total Posts : 865
   Posted 2/16/2008 8:55 PM (GMT -7)   
I am sorry for the struggles you, your daughter and family are going through. As to the "what to do?" question, sell the house, don't sell the house? Don't sell the house, find counsel somehow that will not cause you to have to loose your house in the process. Just a few ideas....perhaps speak with the pdoc and see who he may know legal wise who might be willing to take the case, bring the case to a university law department and speak with some lawyers who are professors there who will keep costs down by using the case as a teaching experience for some 3rd year law students to be his support & research while he represents the case? it could help keep costs down - and law students can be HUNGRY for a win.... Go to the TOP law firm in your area and ask them to take the case pro-bono (or on a sliding scale) due to how up to this point it has drained your financial resources...etc. While the legal system is here for a reason...it can be a VERY imperfect system. It sure seems to me you are getting caught in the vortex of that at the moment. While the charges your daughter are up against are VERY serious, is she the ONLY one being charged? What about the boys who beat the guy up? Are they being charged? What is going on there?

If you are with an attorney you are really pleased with, but can not continue to afford him....go to him and ask him to shift the case to either PRO-BONO work or reduce his rates. Or ask him to work out some financial agreements with you that will allow you to pay him - without burying you. IF he REALLY believes in the case - and is PASSIONATE that your daughter is being wronged and railroaded...he just may surprise you? Go to the legal aid society and ask for help paying for the costs - AKA financial aid for legal services.

I am sure much of what I have suggested you have already thought of, but I thought I would put it out there anyway. Sometimes it helps to hear it again and revisit some ideas. In the interim....both you and your daughter must take VERY good care of yourselves and be working with your pdoc's regularly. It is CRITICAL to help you stay stable and clear thinking. Otherwise, given the BP...if you are swinging too much, your viewpoint can be off as a result, and then you are not dealing with it as effectively as you need to...which can cost you more money as a result.

Good luck to you all and hang in there. LFW

Post Edited (loving frustrated wife) : 2/16/2008 8:59:00 PM (GMT-7)


enoughalready
New Member


Date Joined Feb 2008
Total Posts : 10
   Posted 2/20/2008 7:53 AM (GMT -7)   
I wanted to first of all thank you all  for responding and giving me some avenues to look at lovingfrustratedwife, how wise you are, I can't believe the resourses you have given me and also the ideas....I will look into them so we don't lose our house
 
On a positive note I am feeling better because we spoke to an attorney that is presently thru the state trying to get her out of trouble for criminal damage (charges were dropped). 
 
He said that they will haved a hard time proving she had anything to do with setting things. He also things possibly they were threatening her to get names (which I gave up since she wouldn't and I was concerned for her future). 
 
In answer to your question, the boys are being charged with attempted murder and aggrivated assult, there lives are ruined and jail time is in their future.  The bad thing is that no matter what they do to my daughter she will have to testify against her friends.
 
Yes I spoke to the pdoc (great guy) and he upped my cymbalta and things have leveled out somewhat, I hate this disease especially since I feel I passed it on to my daughter and the guilt is killing me.
 
about my Pdoc, I have tried alot of them and this one actually takes an hour or so depending on what I am going thru counseling me.  I see him or talk to him on the phone and sometimes see him more than once a month.  He really loves his job and cares, this makes a big difference.
 
Things are looking up, she now has a new I call her boytoy and he is the complete opposite of her previous one.  She also has gotten back into training horses and giving kids riding lessons.  Believe it or not this has made me feel so good that I spend alot less time in bed and try to hide in the background and watch her.
 
I thought it might be nice to post a positive thing but I still say "enoughalready"
 
Thanks guys for helping make me think and feel better.

serafena
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 3715
   Posted 2/20/2008 9:13 AM (GMT -7)   
Good news all around, though what an ordeal for your family, especially your daughter, who, as you say, will still have to testify. You sound better too, less hopeless. Thank you for the update.

serafena
Serafena
Co-Moderator, Bipolar Forum

Bipolar II
It is a melancholy of mine own, compounded of many simples, extracted from many objects, and indeed the sundry contemplation of my travels, in which my often rumination wraps me in a most humorous sadness. -- William Shakespeare

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