Post Edited By Moderator (olivia of course) : 2/18/2008 10:13:29 PM (GMT-7)
Post Edited (loving frustrated wife) : 2/19/2008 2:33:45 PM (GMT-7)
Bipolar IIIt is a melancholy of mine own, compounded of many simples, extracted from many objects, and indeed the sundry contemplation of my travels, in which my often rumination wraps me in a most humorous sadness. -- William Shakespeare
hey, y'all! (that's my southern impersonation).
i have read and re-read this thread aseveral times on different occatgions and am having trouble with it. yes, i have a chemical imballance in my "little grey cells" (bows to agatha christy) and, through nature, nurture, or both or some combination of imbalance and all of the rest i am usually depressed. i also have periods of super hyper activity, when i am that "old warren" who wowed the computer industry long ago and far away. but that was then and this is now. now i have trouble placing an order at McD's and god help me if i have to talk to someone for more than two minutes. as my wife says, i'm letting my bp out for a run. i geet arguementative and angry. usually i'm angry because i've lost my career, my income, my "position and status." i see no hope for me and no future. no, friends, i'm not suicidal right now. that was yesterday.
i study torah and other great writings, trying to find comfort, if not answers. i find nothing but what i deem to be platatudes. "he whom the gods would destroy they first make mad." i wonder which of the god(s) i haven't offended.
i accept that this dis-ease makes me inappropriate at the least opportune times. usually it doesn't matter. sometimes, unfortunately, it does.
i am in constant, unbearable pain from a back injury and two opperations. the other day i had oral surgery and took three morphine for the pain. i slept 20 out of 24 hours.
sorry for this rant. i've just been having a really hard time the past few weeks. don't really want to cry on anybody's shoulder - that's not my way.
i wish all of you a safe and secure nest in which to express your individuality.