I am sorry ANYONE spoke to you like that DH. I would have loved to have seen you respond back calmly with a gentle nature and say, "What's really interesting here, is do you often feel it is okay to insult another human being? Perhaps you are missing the ability to regulate appropriate behavior....or is it just that you have entitlement issues that you feel you have the right to offend others?" and then have you calmly walk away shaking your head as if SHE was completely out of line....WHICH SHE WAS!
I know that by laughing it off, you were trying to avoid conflict and make light of a VERY uncomfortable situation, but I often wonder doesn't that just send the message it was acceptable.
I know the other day I was with a girlfriend of mine, and we were shopping for some things for our kids, and she leaned in to me and said, "See that gal over there, now that is heavy...see, you don't look so bad!" This comment from her came totally out of the blue. I have shared with her that I am working on taking some weight off, but NEVER said I didn't think I was okay/attactive as I am. I was so stunned, I didn't even respond and it has bothered me for days now because I feel like my silence was approval/acceptance for the comment. So, I am going to have to share with her that her comments felt insensitive and hurtful to me, whether or not she intended it that way, which I hope she didn't. But either way, I feel I needed to make her aware of how it made me feel.
I suppose I didn't confront her in the moment for fear of feeling so hurt that I would say something that would offend her back. Which I didn't really want to do. But it also bothered me that she referenced another human being the way she did about
the gal she was pointing out to me. I didn't like that either. I am not saying I am a saint, by any means...I can be as caddy as the next gal...but I hope to do it in a more appropriate manner. Gee, why did she pick THAT dress, THAT color, THAT hairstyle for the red carpet...wow...that was a miss!...etc... those feel about
choices someone makes...not a personal attack at them not being okay the way they are...and size, shape, color, etc...shouldn't matter. Does that make sense?
You just keep up the great positive example you are setting for others about
being responsible about
your own issues (your's being BP) makes you a better person. And meds for a BP can help you do that (both my H & S take them too). The less stigma we attach to it, the better. Now to get the media to stop portraying BP in ONLY one light!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That would be helpful too! LFW
Post Edited (loving frustrated wife) : 2/19/2008 2:33:45 PM (GMT-7)