newly diagnosed need help please

New Topic Post Reply Printable Version
[ << Previous Thread | Next Thread >> ]

LoStAnDfOuNd
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2008
Total Posts : 34
   Posted 2/26/2008 12:59 PM (GMT -7)   
I was diagnosed last summer while being hospitalised after a huge phychotic break down. Bi polar and post traumatic stress disorder.No sleep for four days, well maybe a couple hours filled with terrifying nightmares. It had been going on for two weeks at least. maybe more maybe less it is all a blur. The checking account was 500 something dollars in the negative. I sure as heck didn't even know it until hubby told me after I was well. my husband drives a semi for a living so he was not there while this happened. I was convinced somebody had drugged me..(this happened to me as a teenager, drugged then raped.) ...it was all I could think about for two weeks. I could not sit still and it was worse at night. I felt like my mind and body was in a frenzy. I hate that feeling. I hate taking the medicine. Don't get me wrong it works. I know it does. But I just want to be normal without it. I take it for a week or two and quit taking it. then the bottom falls out. In november i was convinced all our stuff had been exposed to black mold and we had to get rid of it. And I did. I guess that says it all right there. All our belongings gone. Forever. That was so stupid. I starting taking the medicine again for a little while after that. but I just cant commit myself to either not take it or take it. I want to just go through a day without worry and panic and feeling like i'm in a frenzy WITHOUT the medicine. Is that possible. Has someone done it with sucess? Or am I to accept that my brain is defected? Cause I aint buying it. No way No how. Is there a way to accept this manic feeling without being scared of it. Because that is truely what bothers me...the fear...paranoia. I could definately live without those two. I am supposed to take depakote er and seroquel. they work when I take them. And I am okay for a little while without them but them something happens (usually paranoia) and I take them again. Do any of you think that this whole "bi polar" thing is wrong. Cause like I said except for the paranoia I'm fine. I need some help with all this even though it has been 7 months it feels like yesterday. I just don't get it.

serafena
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 3715
   Posted 2/26/2008 1:48 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Lost and Found,

Nice to have you. Welcome to HealingWell. I hope you find some community and some answers to your questions here.

Although, you answer most of your own questions yourself. You ask if anyone has successfully managed their bipolar without medication. Some do, but you also then admit that you manage your own much better when you take the meds. So what's the big deal? Take the meds. What about being bipolar makes you feel scared of the meds? Is it worth sacrificing your money? All your belongings? Being bipolar is no scarier than having any other medical condition. You wanna get better? Take your meds.

serafena
Serafena
Co-Moderator, Bipolar Forum

Bipolar II
It is a melancholy of mine own, compounded of many simples, extracted from many objects, and indeed the sundry contemplation of my travels, in which my often rumination wraps me in a most humorous sadness. -- William Shakespeare


LoStAnDfOuNd
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2008
Total Posts : 34
   Posted 2/26/2008 2:37 PM (GMT -7)   
I am not scared of the meds. I want to be able to live my life without them. I don't see anything wrong with that.

loving frustrated wife
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jun 2007
Total Posts : 865
   Posted 2/26/2008 5:46 PM (GMT -7)   
L&F, I am a wife and mother to BP's. So let me explain it this way to you....I get you don't like the concept of meds as a full time issue. But let me ask you this...if you were a Type 1 diabetic, and needed insulin...would you take it every day for the rest of your life because your body needed it? Would you modify your eating to help regulate it? Of course you would. THIS IS NO DIFFERENT. Clearly if you want your life back, you MUST take your meds. Without it, you have already shared that "managing" your BP is not working. You gave away all your belongings, over spent what you didn't have, had break-downs...etc. Therefore, without the meds, you are NOT stable. (I define stable as someone who now, or 6 months from now will live within a balanced range of emotion internally, and will rationally cope with any outside influences in life. The same could be said for year after year equaling stable...) Can you say that you are that without the meds? Capable of rational decision making with consistency? Do you have evidence for yourself that you can manually override anything going on to keep yourself stable? It sounds to me like you only have evidence to the contrary. Therefore, given you have admitted the meds work for you....bless them and take them EVERYDAY....work with your pdoc from now on and recognize that YOU have the power to embrace stable wellness....BUT ONLY IF YOU CONSISTENTLY TAKE YOUR MEDICATION FOREVERMORE
...and my dear...THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT EITHER. You would not deny a diabetic their insulin, do not deny yourself the same. And I am sorry for what happened to you when you were young...that must not have been easy to deal with, but you are alive, you are here, and you have a choice to not let any of the bad things take you down, and you are being given the tools for success in your life....TAKE THEM...Let yourself heal and have an amazing life....IT IS TRULY THE BEST REVENGE!!!!!!!!!!!! Good luck to you. LFW

LoStAnDfOuNd
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2008
Total Posts : 34
   Posted 2/26/2008 7:14 PM (GMT -7)   
Thank you, lfw for your response. You make a lot of sense. That is what I need right now, rational voice of reason.

mommy.michele
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2007
Total Posts : 369
   Posted 2/26/2008 11:13 PM (GMT -7)   
Welcome, and I see you have already had some good advice.  Like LFW said...you need to take these meds for the rest of your life.  It is no different than someone suffering from any other chemical illness like diabetes or high blood pressure....ours just happens to be in the brain.  Dont think of the meds as a hinderence...but as a lifesaver.

"Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending" ~ Maria Robinson


Skeeter_Bug
Regular Member


Date Joined Aug 2005
Total Posts : 86
   Posted 3/3/2008 3:48 AM (GMT -7)   
hey relax, a BP does not need a lot of stress. I understand where u are coming from. it is a chemical imbalence in the brain unfortunately society likes to label people. it isn't so bad taking meds because i now with my meds i can live a normal life without them my life falls apart. i have the most serious form of bp. when i was in an episode i was making phone calls to people telling them satan was in my house. i thought i was on a mission from God. my bipolar broke up my home but we reconcided later. another thing people with untreated bipolar have a very rate of suicide. I had been having problems for several years but what set put me in severe manic episode was the sudden death of my mother. i also a diabetic and during my episode i didnt sleep for days and did not eat for 9 days I could have died. Ii will never go off my meds because the repurcussions are not worth it. may i suggest you read the book by patti duke.
I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Philippians 4:13 
 
God loves you whether you like it or not
 
Fibromyalgia, Diabetes, Asthma, degenerative disc disease, facet disease, osteoarthritis, hypertension
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

New Topic Post Reply Printable Version
Forum Information
Currently it is Monday, December 05, 2016 7:38 AM (GMT -7)
There are a total of 2,732,932 posts in 301,069 threads.
View Active Threads


Who's Online
This forum has 151224 registered members. Please welcome our newest member, alexben667.
298 Guest(s), 15 Registered Member(s) are currently online.  Details
scifigal2k, Rikky1, tickbite666, Serenity Now, ntzguy, Huddie, pmm73, GingerGirl, blksteeda, fibrocushie, Traveler, Nosila, ljimd, racquetball74, LanieG


Follow HealingWell.com on Facebook  Follow HealingWell.com on Twitter  Follow HealingWell.com on Pinterest
Advertisement
Advertisement

©1996-2016 HealingWell.com LLC  All rights reserved.

Advertise | Privacy Policy & Disclaimer