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mogli
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2006
Total Posts : 1191
   Posted 3/22/2008 6:12 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi guys,
 
I've been a bit bad, so maybe posting this will help me get things back on track. eyes
 
So--One week & two days left of school!  Can't believe it.  My last day of school is April 1st, then I'm off for a few days, then I start my externship.  I find out where I am going for externship this Tuesday, so I will let you all know.  After externship (should be 3 - 4 weeks) I am hoping to find a job ASAP.  I'm going to start applying in a couple of weeks.
 
I am really anxious about all of this, but will feel great when I get a job.  I cannot wait to not have to study all the time.  That has definitely taken up so much of my time for the last 9 months.  My last updated average was 97.12%.  I am very proud of myself.
 
Other than school, I've been trying to juggle some stress I've been under.  Bf and I are actually doing pretty good.  I found out a couple of weeks ago he's looking at engagement rings :-)   That really does make me happy, more than happy! tongue   My counselling has been going well, and I really believe that this relationship is "the one."  Bf and I are definitely communicating better, and recently I've realized just how much he loves me.  It's taken a long time to work through my insecurity, but it feels great to feel so loved and cherished.  And of course I still have my moments, but it's much better.
 
about my bp--I haven't been doing very well with that.  The meds are going to stay where they're at, again b/c of the little side effects and they are helping.  They have given me more normal days than I've had in a long time.  I've talked with my pdoc and although I am far from stable, he is allowing me to continue with things the way they are.  Once I start working and get used to a full-time schedule I may consider doing something different.  Basically I still have some days where I'm depressed, but the episodes are not lasting nearly as long as they were before.  I also have a few hypomanic days, but as long as they don't last I'm okay.  So definitely cycling, still.  But as I said, with the normal days I do have it's much better.   I just haven't been keeping my mood chart, or taking time to relax.  So I'm going to try and do both today.  I have to finish cleaning the house and study, but I'm going to take it all slow. 
 
I will be glad when I start working, I should have more time to post and contribute to HW.  I've missed it in my life.  It's so helpful for me.  Thanks for reading, thinking of you all.
 
Mogs
 
Bipolar II, Anxiety/Panic Disorder
Clonazepam .5mg as needed, Trazodone 50mg/day & Lamictal 200 mg/day


serafena
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 3715
   Posted 3/22/2008 11:45 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Mogli,

It is nice to hear from you. So glad to hear school is nearly done for you and you've done so well with it. You're an inspiration for us all -- see, we can do it! It's also good to hear that you and bf are doing so well. He is apparently accepting your illness better than you thought he was. You guys have come a long way. Good work. I'm sorry to hear you're still cycling some, but I'm glad you've got it more or less contained with the drugs.

Thank you for the update. I've been wondering how you were doing. (((hugs)))
Serafena
Co-Moderator, Bipolar Forum
Bipolar II


mommy.michele
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2007
Total Posts : 369
   Posted 3/22/2008 10:56 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi mogli.   you sound upbeat...and you should be.  Good for you on the grades, you should be proud of yourself.  I am glad your relationship is moving ahead so well...I hope it continues to get even better.

"Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending" ~ Maria Robinson


mogli
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2006
Total Posts : 1191
   Posted 3/23/2008 6:23 AM (GMT -7)   

Thanks guys.  If I could just stop cycling so much with my moods, I would be all set.  It's really exhausting. 


Mogs
 
Bipolar II, Anxiety/Panic Disorder
Clonazepam .5mg as needed, Trazodone 50mg/day & Lamictal 200 mg/day


olivia of course
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 1523
   Posted 3/23/2008 11:13 AM (GMT -7)   
Mogli,

I am glad that things are going so wonderfully. I am glad that the Lamictal is helping you feel almost normal as you said. Great job with school. Give us updates when you get a chance.
Olivia
Co-Moderator, Bipolar
 
Only by seeking challenges can we hope to find the best in ourselves.
~Robert Rodriguez


sukay
Veteran Member


Date Joined Feb 2003
Total Posts : 1432
   Posted 3/24/2008 5:48 PM (GMT -7)   
Mogli,
 
Hello, and thanks for the update!
 
Whew!!! You've got through school and will have a lot less stress to deal with now that you don't have to use all of your time on studies! I'm sure that is a huge load off of your back.  Now you can B R E A T H E !!! :-)
 
Glad to hear you are still working with your pdoc on your medications.We all need to learn from this.We have an active say regarding our  medication adjustments and it's good when we can start to feel/know when it's time for an adjustment. But you're doing it the correct way and that is WITH our pdoc and NOT on our own.
 
After reading your post I can see why you are feeling very anxious. You have a lot of things going on. But you know what you have to do, because you said it yourself and that is to take time out for yourself to relax and do what you need to do to de-stress yourself.
 
I like the medication adjustment that I am on right now. When things start to get hairy for me I try hard to do what I need to do. Recently I had a very stressful situation and had to increase my dosage (which I didn't want to do, but my pdoc always told me it was an option if I needed it). I had to take it for a week. After that things were a lot easier for me and less stressful and I was able to go back to my regular dosage and I feel great again. I just want to stress that just because we have to increase our meds for a time, if need be, we shouldn't stress about. We don't want to make things harder on ourselves either or possibly risk being thrown into an episode. Sometimes we need that little bit of help. Just food for thought.
 
Can't wait to hear of your next update. Good luck to you.
 
 
 

mogli
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2006
Total Posts : 1191
   Posted 3/25/2008 3:07 PM (GMT -7)   

Hi Guys,

Thank you all for your responses.  It means so much to me that you're all behind me and so proud of me.

I'm having a very hard time tonight.  It was a very long day for me at school, after school etc.  And I am feeling very on edge.  I am crashing hard, and I'm scared.  I just tried talking to my bf about how I'm not well, and it went awful.  It's been ages since I have even mentioned anything about my bp (I know I said we're communicating better--but that is just about other things, not my bp).  I've basically stopped bringing that up completely over the last several months; as long as I don't talk about how I'm feeling, then we're okay.  The minute I started talking about how overwhelmed I am, and how it's bringing out these horrible symptoms, he looked like he was falling asleep, or that he hated every minute of listenting to me.  It feels horrible.  It makes me wonder.

I haven't felt this way in a long time.  I've just been shutting off my symptoms when I'm around him and I know that's not good, but it's worked so far.  Until now.  I've been so stressed for the last couple of weeks, and I can only keep my bp under control around him for so long.  It's so awful.  I have to keep it under control at school, and here at home.  So basically I am not letting anything get out.  I started to cry this afternoon when I was alone in  the house, and I thought, just let it go...it's okay.  Then the phone rang.  I didn't even get to have my little meltdown.  Now, I am extremely irritable and upset.  I've already taken a Clonazepam to try and calm down, but I honestly just want someone to hug me and comfort me.

That is what I need.  But that is not what I am going to get.  The old familiar feeling when I'm depressed; I feel like he is completely resenting me right now.  I found out where I am going for my internship after school today--a clinic w/3 doctors--which is great--My bf said to me "I'm sorry you can't enjoy this news..." and it felt like such a bad comment towards me.  It felt like he was implying that I should just be happy.  I wish he could understand how awful these symptoms are.  Trouble is, I know he doesn't look at them as "symptoms"--at all.

Ugh.  Sorry you guys for ranting, but I really needed to.  And I don't think I'm done.  So I will try to journal tonight and maybe call distress.

Thanks for reading,

Mogs


Mogs
 
Bipolar II, Anxiety/Panic Disorder
Clonazepam .5mg as needed, Trazodone 50mg/day & Lamictal 200 mg/day


mommy.michele
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2007
Total Posts : 369
   Posted 3/25/2008 5:51 PM (GMT -7)   

Oh mogli...I feel your pain.  It is so hard to really get through to some people about how bad bp symptoms can actually be.  I too at times feel overwhelmed to the point that I know if my husband would just hug me and tell me things will be ok....I would feel better.  But he too does not get too involved with my symptoms, he just wants to make sure I am following therapy as far as getting myself back on track when I waiver off.

Just know that there are a lot of people who understand what you are going through.  You are not alone.  I would give you a hug if I could.  Just keep your head up and be proud of yourself.  You deserve some self praise....celebrate somehow. :-)


"Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending" ~ Maria Robinson


serafena
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 3715
   Posted 3/25/2008 6:10 PM (GMT -7)   
Dear Mogli:

I'm so sorry you're feeling so crummy. You deserve better, but you've been working really hard and if you don't slow down a bit you're bound to crash some. So take a little time out for some self-TLC. It would definitely help to be around supportive people at times like this, and I'm sorry you're not always. You've always got us. (((hugs))))

Talking about your emotional state really seems to bring out your worries about your bf's reactions and that only worsens the anxiety. Is it possible you are reading more into his reactions than is really there? Is it possible he's being sympathetic in a low-key way? I wasn't there, naturally, and didn't hear how it was said, but I wouldn't necessarily take his comment as a criticism. It is unfortunate that this stupid disorder robs us of joyful moments by making us sad when we want to be happy. Of course, we all know there's only so much you can do about that, so I hope that's what he meant.

Congratulations on your internship. You will get a chance you enjoy it, I'm sure. Write again as much as you need.
Serafena
Co-Moderator, Bipolar Forum
Bipolar II


wmnak
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 1123
   Posted 3/25/2008 7:35 PM (GMT -7)   
mogli,
 
you might not like what i'm about to say - but i am saying it with tough love for someone i care about:   YOU!
 
all of us need a "safe place to fall," as DR. Phil calls it.  We all need someone with whom we can reveal our deepest, darkest, and brightest secrets.  ALL OF US need these things.  I have been very blessed with my wife.  she has put up with me and my probvlems and mental illness for over 30 yrs.  Does she hold me and comfort me all the time?  H*LL NO!  most of the time she tells me to get off my lazy a** and DO something about what's bothering me.  That, my dear friend, is love.
 
if she would treat me and my illness as a burdon, then i would tell her to get on with her life however she could and with whomever she could.  Love is not 50 - 50.  it's 150 - 150 and more.  when she's  down, i'm there for her, if only to tell her to go to bed and see me in the morning.  it cuts both ways.
 
She is a caner survivor twice over and has very little stamina left.  i suffer form debilitating chronic pain, COPD with bronchitus that shifts for chronic to active regularly (i was in the hospital for a day last week because of it), and bp.  i will move heaven and earth for my wife if need be.  i know she would do the same for   me.  these are not word games: these are honest emotions.
 
if i can't be honest with my wife, who can i be honest with?  if she can't be honest with me, who can she be honest with?  believe me when i say that, although sex is great, having an open, honest relationship is better and will last longer.  i cannot imagiine it any other way.
 
i share my pride in my wife for all of her many accomplishments and cry with her when she is hurt.  she does the same for me - i just don't have as many accomplishments :-) .  this is the basis for a solid relationship.  this is the basis for a relationship that can "suffer the slings and arrows of outragious fortune" and hold each other with tenderness.
 
You have accomplished a great deal and are about to accomplish a great deal more.  You have an illness that will never "just go away."  you need someone - or someones as in a support group (and not just necessarily vitural) that can and will be there for you .
 
this is my experience.  i hope  it helps you.  and the best of luck on the next phase of your (continuing) education.
 
warren
That light at the end of he tunnel?  It's an on-coming train.
 
 


sukay
Veteran Member


Date Joined Feb 2003
Total Posts : 1432
   Posted 3/26/2008 9:02 AM (GMT -7)   

Hey Mogli,

I'm sorry to hear how you have been feeling. Everything is happening so fast around you and it's hard not to be anxious & stressed. I see it has hit you big time right now.

IMO I too haven't heard how the remark was said by your bf but to me, the way it was worded sounded like he did understand what you were going through and how you felt and showed that by stating he was sorry that you were not able to be happy about the news. But that is only my opinion.

I agree with serafena. Are you sure you are not reading more into his reactions than what is really there? I know we hold a lot of guilt with dealing with our BP. My husband is totally there for me, in his way. The rest I get from my therapist. Are you currently seeing a therapist? You really need someone that you can totally open up too. It is not healthy to walk around holding everything in and acting in a way that you think people expect you to act.

My husband use to say to me in my early diagnosis that he felt like his hands were tied and didn't know what he could do for me when I was going through stressful/depressed/manic episodes. He didn't know how to be there for me. But he learned along the way by me sitting him down and sharing things with him and telling him what it was that I needed. He also invested time in coming to my therapy appointments at times to understand things and what I was going through in more detail.

I hope you are able to open up more or schedule a therapy appointment asap. You really need someone to be one on one with you during times like this.

We are also here for you. (((Hugs))) sad


~sukay~
Diagnosed Bipolar - August 2004
     Crohns disease - 1995 
Arthritis & Fibromyalgia 
 
Leo Buscaglia


serafena
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 3715
   Posted 3/26/2008 10:36 AM (GMT -7)   
Thank you, Sukay. You said that far more eloquently than I could manage last night.
Serafena
Co-Moderator, Bipolar Forum
Bipolar II


loving frustrated wife
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jun 2007
Total Posts : 865
   Posted 3/26/2008 9:30 PM (GMT -7)   
Mogs, first let me say how PROUD of you I am. WOW...you have done a GREAT job with school and you should be incredibly proud of yourself (which I know you are). The fact that things are stressful right now with the transition and the long days, it is no wonder that while you are happy about the news of where you will do your internship...you are not jumping for joy about it. I worry more that you had an expectation that your reaction should have been different emotionally than it is/was. As a BP woman, you were primed to feel exactly as you are under the circumstances; Happy with one hand, stressed with the other, and somewhat over reacting to things with another given the exhaustion and pressure. That is the duality of it all....AKA - BP. You always need to remember to have your anticipation and action plan ready. Stay in observation of yourself to check in. I know you wanted to indulge the crying...but believe it or not, it probably served you not to. As Warren said, sometimes what you think you want and what you REALLY need is opposite. If you need a hug, leave off all the other issues to emote about and simply ask your BF if he could just hold you for 5 minutes so you can slow yourself down - you would get your hug, and the rest really isn't overly necessary for you to go into all the inner workings of what you are dealing with internally. On occasion to discuss...hey, we spouses/partners get it. But, it would be like a one leg person asking you really understand their "phantom pain" from their missing limb they are experiencing. You would certainly be empathetic, you would certainly express how sorry you are that they are having such pain, you may ask if you can help them...but you could only really understand as an observer. Same for us spouses/partners. While you need to delve regularly into deep explanations perhaps of everything you are, or are not feeling, the way you want...perhaps what you learned of late, is that therapy may be a better place to unload those feelings with more regularity. That explaining overall what your needs or issues are, within a moment, are better received not so "deep" by your BF...as you have seen with things seemingly more happy and even between you since you were containing your feelings. I am sure after he has seen you over time, your BF "gets it", but shuts down when it feels too heavy for him and he is left feeling helpless how to help his loved one. I know that women in general may have a better tolerance for the "deep" stuff than a man might. I am not saying that is right or wrong, just what in most cases "is". I too did not find his comment, again albeit we did not hear the tone or see the expression, as a negative - but instead as a genuine expression that he was sorry you were having difficulty feeling the happiness about it. That actually sounded like a compassionate understanding statement. I am not saying you are wrong by how you have taken the comment, but perhaps you want to consider the filter to which it ran through for you.

I know at this moment, I am dealing with some of that here to...on both sides actually. We are under so much pressure, my H is popping all over the place, he's misinterpreting me right and left and then snapping at me....and to a degree (albeit not as severely) I am doing the same with him. This week seems to be about me standing up for myself, and the results are that I am pissing people off at an alarming rate. To the point that the guy I work for part time (who's also one of the landlords of the house we live in) fired me because I got angry with him for treating me disrespectful for 2 weeks running. I couldn't get him to pay me, and started bouncing checks as a result (something that wouldn't have happened if he paid we like he said he would 2 weeks ago) and every time I tried to call and talk to him he wouldn't listen to me and kept saying he was on his way to bring the money (he never did show up), and he kept hanging up on me and treating me like I was annoying him and yelling at me. So I confronted him about it. He didn't like it. I got fired. Now, standing up for myself was the right thing to do. But, it did not yield overly positive results. And even though H and I are on the same side about it, and my H was REALLY upset for how this man was treating his wife....we got in a fight about it all tonight. He was continually getting mad at me for allowing this guy to treat me this way...and when I stood up to him and put a stop to it....he got mad that I mentioned in explaining to the boss, that my H has also witnessed the disrespect towards me and was angry about it. So we ended up arguing about it tonight. I was being oversensitive because I know it was the right thing to do to stand up for myself, but I was upset for being fired. H was glad I wasn't going to be working for my boss anymore and was proud that I stood up to him....but given the $$ pressures we are under was stressed about that even more now. SO...we fought. SEE - THE FILTERS...they can mess you up every time!

Take a step back and breathe. Recognize that there is love between you, but it won't always be smooth sailing between you and your BF. Get with your therapist and do a data dump with him, and when you can, try not to use your BF for that. Share where you are of course so he knows what is going on, but perhaps don't go into depth with him...just get on with asking for what you need. I bet more times than not, you will then get it. You really are doing better than you think kiddo! LFW

sukay
Veteran Member


Date Joined Feb 2003
Total Posts : 1432
   Posted 3/28/2008 7:53 AM (GMT -7)   

Mogli,

I've been concerned for you? How have the last few days been going for you? Are you ok? confused

Is there anything else that we can help you with? We are here for you! sad   ((((HUGS))))


~sukay~
Diagnosed Bipolar - August 2004
     Crohns disease - 1995 
Arthritis & Fibromyalgia 
 
Leo Buscaglia


mogli
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2006
Total Posts : 1191
   Posted 3/28/2008 7:57 AM (GMT -7)   
All of you--Thank you so much!!!!  I don't have enough time right now to post what's been going on, but I will try to do that later today.
 
The fact that you all took time to give such thoughtful advice and words of comfort means so much to me.  The advice all of you have given is some of the greatest advice I've had in a long time.  I agree with it all; it makes so much sense.
 
So--I will post ASAP.  Thank you all again, so much :-)
 
Many, many hugs....
Mogs
 
Bipolar II, Anxiety/Panic Disorder
Clonazepam .5mg as needed, Trazodone 50mg/day & Lamictal 200 mg/day


mogli
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2006
Total Posts : 1191
   Posted 3/30/2008 6:32 AM (GMT -7)   

So...I've been pretty busy the last couple of days.  My bf was away for a couple of days for a hockey tournament; my Mom came over to spend a night with me.  She left yesterday.  We had a really nice time.  Did some shopping with her yesterday, then my bf got home--we really missed each other.  It was so good to have him back home.  It felt so good; it was great to feel so missed. 

Thank you all again so much for posting your thoughts to what happened this week.  Like I said before, you've given me so much to think about.  Warren--what you said has stuck with me; it's always so good to hear from you.  I hope you are well.  Sukay, LFW & serafena, your words affected me as well.  Basically from everything all of you posted, I've come to this conclusion...

My bf loves me so much.  I somehow get wrapped up in being upset with him (because in those moments, I feel he's "wrong") and forget just how much he loves me and cares for my well being and how I'm feeling.  But he's only human.  And being a bp partner isn't easy.  That is something I also forget in these moments.  Once I come to my senses, I realize that it's not easy for him.  I want to however, remember that sooner so things don't escalate the way they do sometimes.  I'm not perfect either and realize that I won't acknowledge his feelings right away all the time.  I simply want to try and do better with it.  My support worker said to me in my last session that maybe I need to lower my expectations (of my bf).  She was referring to our relationship as a whole; not just the bp complications.  But with that, and all you have said, I think that's exactly what I need to do.  Something else that you all pointed out, was that I can find support in other outlets; therapy.  Once I get a job, I hope to have counselling made available to me again.  The support I have now is the counsellor at the abuse center (for the yelling that happens in the fights my bf and I have)...so that counsellor isn't helpful with my bp at all.  But I am gaining some insight and tools to help deal with the emotional tangles for that issue between me and my bf.  My support person is great, but it's not really therapy for my bp.

So, the therapy will come again.  Just have to wait until I am working again.  That will be about a month away at least.

I am going to try and use my journal, HW, and maybe support group that meets in my city once a month--and I think that will help me with the support I am needing right now.  It's just open to everyone, for whenever they want to come.  It's available at night, so even with my externship and once I start working.  And LFW, I am going to ask my bf to hug me the next time I am feeling irritable or overwhlemed.  Instead of getting all worked up, and upset with him.

Thanks again, thanks for the hugs, much needed.  I am thinking of all of you.  I hope you are well today.



Mogs
 
Bipolar II, Anxiety/Panic Disorder
Clonazepam .5mg as needed, Trazodone 50mg/day & Lamictal 200 mg/day


sukay
Veteran Member


Date Joined Feb 2003
Total Posts : 1432
   Posted 3/30/2008 12:27 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Mogli,
 
Really glad to hear that things are much better for you right now! yeah
 
I think everything that you shared is really a big breakthrough. I'm glad that you're understanding things in a much bigger and clearer way.
 
Getting hooked up with some therapy once you get working again is going to be a HUGE help for you. Watch, you'll see. I share so much w/my therapist and it takes a huge weight off of my husband's hands. Besides being with a therapist who understands BP always understands things better. My therapist helped me understand how difficult things were for my husband also dealing with my illness (that it is a huge load to carry) and that we also need to learn how things we go through affect them also.
So good for you on trying to remember that sooner as things start to escalate. It shows awareness and effort and in time it will come easier for you. 
 
I glad for you Mogli. Keep up the good work!
And you're absolutely right.....We are always here for you!
 
More (((((Hugs))))) tongue
~sukay~
Diagnosed Bipolar - August 2004
     Crohns disease - 1995 
Arthritis & Fibromyalgia 
 
Leo Buscaglia


mogli
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2006
Total Posts : 1191
   Posted 3/30/2008 12:31 PM (GMT -7)   
Thanks Sukay,
 
I do feel better about what I wish to try and accomplish and what I have realized.  I really do need some "bp therapy" but until then I am going to try to cope by other means.  With Tuesday being my last day of school, I cannot wait to have more time for myself--no studying.  It will be huge help as well.
 
(((Hugs))) I hope you are well :-)
Mogs
 
Bipolar II, Anxiety/Panic Disorder
Clonazepam .5mg as needed, Trazodone 50mg/day & Lamictal 200 mg/day


serafena
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 3715
   Posted 3/30/2008 12:35 PM (GMT -7)   
Mogli,

It's tough to find that line between what's a flummoxed bf trying to say the right thing and a careless bf being mistreatful. You've walked the line, so you're still trying to strike a balance. I think that's normal and I'm pleased to hear that he's the one coming around. He's trying harder to say and do the right thing, and you're right, sometime that's just frankly impossible with us. That happens to my poor dh all the time. There's no way he can avoid some of the traps I set up, unknowingly of course. Normal relationship stuff. You're working through it -- That's all that matters.

Therapy will do wonders for you, I think, once you can get it. I'm sorry you have to wait for insurance (muttering "darn insurance"). But you're already on track. Writing is a great option. We love you, of course. And a support group is a great thing. Let us know how it goes.

serafena
Serafena
Co-Moderator, Bipolar Forum
Bipolar II


mommy.michele
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2007
Total Posts : 369
   Posted 3/31/2008 12:17 PM (GMT -7)   

mogli, it sounds like you have done some terrific soul searching and self therapy.  It will be great for you to get back into a therapy more geared toward your bp, but alot of the coping advise you have gotten seems to fit as well in most relationship situations.  As a fellow bp sufferer, I do understand how hard it can be at times to remind ourselves of the love others do feel for us, as our self esteem is not always the best.  But you are right...it is important to remember that, and to  work at making our self worth a constant "fact" in our lives...then things may not escalate due to misconceptions and misinterpretations.

Just remember you are loved, and you are doing great.


"Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending" ~ Maria Robinson


mogli
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2006
Total Posts : 1191
   Posted 4/1/2008 3:25 PM (GMT -7)   

Thank you both for the love, and support.  Serafena, strange that you used the word "normal" b/c that's what I've kinda been think'n too.  Relationships aren't perfect happiness all the time.  While yelling is something we want to change, having disagreements, having times where we're both overhwelmed, frustrated--is normal.  So thank you for that thought.

Anyway, love to all of you as well. 


Mogs
 
Bipolar II, Anxiety/Panic Disorder
Clonazepam .5mg as needed, Trazodone 50mg/day & Lamictal 200 mg/day

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