welcome to HW. i'm glad you found us. my natural state is deprresive, so i'm afraid i can't really help you much with your personal demons. i was on lithium for about 7 yrs and it worked very well for me as a mood stabelizer. it does, of course, have side effects, like all meds. i understand that lithium may take as long as a yr to show results in some individuals but it showed an almost instant (within a few days) improvement with me.
i wish you well on this journey and look forward to sharing insights with you in the future.