Welcome to HW. I am sorry you are having such a hard time. (((((hugs))))) for the depression. It's so awful. The minute I saw your subject "depressed" I wanted to reach out. Being depressed is the worst feeling. Try to do something to help yourself feel better; I know it's hard. But even doing one little thing that might work to bring even temporary relief is worth it. I know it takes a lot of effort, but even that effort can make you feel good about yourself. Have shower/bath, maybe buy a little something for yourself (book, if you like to read...) Can you call a friend to come over or something...I know what you are going through; we all do.
I understand what you are saying about meds, etc. It's so frustrating. Do you have a psychiatrist? Maybe asking your doc or pdoc if you have one if they can refer you to something different, like a support group...? We are here for you. Posting here does help. The chat rooms also help me when I'm depressed.
I hope you are well today, keep us updated.
Bipolar II, Anxiety/Panic Disorder
Clonazepam .5mg as needed, Trazodone 50mg/day & Lamictal 200 mg/day