Please Welcome New Member, USA1

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sukay
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Date Joined Feb 2003
Total Posts : 1432
   Posted 4/6/2008 8:47 PM (GMT -7)   
USA1
New Member

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Date Joined Apr 2008
Total Posts : 1
VIEW IMAGE   Posted Today 11:12 AM (GMT -6)    VIEW IMAGE
  I've been married for 10 yrs, the first 2 were hell, I knew nothing about Depression I couldn't believe someone could be mad for no reason. I did everything I could think of to please her. The more I did the worst it got. She wanted me to feel like her and it worked I lost 30 lbs from pure stress.  No remorse either, like hatred to the soul. Over the years thing got better pretty smooth, she was on meds. but still have to be careful what you say, especially trick questions that she will know what your normal answer would be, neg. to her, so she could release all that pressure and anxiety lurking beneath and lash out at you. The smallest neg. remark or answer would result in a sea of hell for days. Like walking into a nest of Timber Rattlers and barb wire. I love her very much, when she is normal, she is a super nice person, and nobody else can believe she could be this way.
Troubles now are brewing again with hormones and bipolar, I've got my 5 point harness on, lately it be pretty brutal, lets see, like a barb wire tornado, might describe it.  I can't believe she doesn't know the hurtful thing they say, or don't remember. I would make you feel a little better if she just said, "sorry about yesterday" but no remorse, like you deserved it. The only way I can survive is to observe this as a test or something. Because there is no reasoning here, like trying to reason with the Taliban.  I do love her and have never been abusive in anyway, I just like to here they are other people out there like me, I hope my descriptions were humorous is a way and maybe accurate to some out there, I still need advice though.
 
                                   Thanks USA1


~sukay~
Diagnosed Bipolar - August 2004
     Crohns disease - 1995 
Arthritis & Fibromyalgia 
 
Leo Buscaglia


sukay
Veteran Member


Date Joined Feb 2003
Total Posts : 1432
   Posted 4/6/2008 9:06 PM (GMT -7)   

Hello USA,

Wow, you sound like you certainly do love your wife to hang on and be be put through so much. I am bipolar too and understand this type of behavior.

#1-Has your wife been back to seeing her psychiatrist for an evaluation? She sounds like she is needing a medication adjustment. Is she compliant with her medications or even on them at this time?

#2 I have learned that when in a relationship, nobody should talk that rude or be that inconsiderate with you, bipolar or not! You need to step up to the plate and let your wife know that you will no longer tolerate that type of talk from her. You don't deserve that. You should then walk away after telling her, that when she calms down, she can approach again. But you have to let her know that it will be no longer acceptable from you.

Is your wife trying to work on her bipolar issues? You sound like you would be a wonderful support to her if she would just try to cooperate. Have you or her considered going to a therapist? Most people who have bipolar incorporate the help of a therapist as part of their wellness plan. This can help her to find ways to get use to dealing with her emotions in a new and healthy way. Perhaps you could offer to go with her from time to time to help you understand what she is going through. You may want to get the help of a therapist for your own self as well if needed.

These are just some of my thoughts. I'm sure others will be along to give you some of their suggestions. There are a few people on the board who are also in relationships with bipolars that also come here for support.

Keep us posted.


serafena
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 3715
   Posted 4/7/2008 9:15 AM (GMT -7)   
USA1,

You are a remarkable man to hold on through all that. I agree with Sukay: it's time to stand up for yourself. There's no reason to allow yourself to be verbally abused just because she's bipolar. We do have some self-control!

And it does sound like time for a meds adjustment. Is she good about taking her medications?

serafena
Serafena
Co-Moderator, Bipolar Forum
Bipolar II

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