Gosh, I'm sorry that you're going through a difficult time. I know it is really rough right now. How long have you been diagnosed with B/P? Did this start suddenly? What meds are you currently on?
I have mixed episodes too at times. But since I have been dealing with my bipolar since 2004 I have a better handle of dealing with this now. I can feel when I'm starting to get depressed and I know I need to actively do things to help me pull out of that state. I've found things that work for me like, getting out of the house and going to the mall to just window shop so to speak. I just browse around and take my time to look at things that I normally don't have time to take a look at, and that helps me pass the time. I'll try to find something on T.V. or DVD that really interests me. I old movies. I'll call a friend just to get me out of the house and go for a quick bite to eat and chit chat. Lately, I have been trying my hand at making my own stationary/cards. I'm not good yet, but I have fun staying at my level and share them anyway!
When I start to feel manic, again, I am at a point when I can tell when it is starting to kick in and I quickly bring myself under control. I slow down, I go for a long walk to clear my mind, I deep breathe and listen to calm music, etc.
It took me a long time to get here. Earlier I would just let things escalate. I use to think I had no control of things, but I learned that I have to make an ACTIVE ACTION. I HAVE to do something. The medication wasn't going to do it all for me.
Hope the meds are able to help you along. The correct medication adjustment is so important. Make sure you keep in close contact with your pdoc and inform him of any issues that you feel overwhelmed with. It took me a long time to find the correct medication adjustment and that was crucial in helping me finally being able to control myself better.
Hang tough! As I like to say around here!