i agree with sophie. prayer is very powerful. but if i break my leg all of the prayer in the universe won't set it. of course, after it is set and properly treated by a qualified physician, prayer might well make it heal faster and more thoroughly (actually, studies in England have supported this statement).
another piece of advice. she is bp. ok. not the end of the world and i haven't heard gabriel's horn yet. treat her with respect and DAMAND that she treat you with respect. the age of consent, or majority, differs from state to state. generally it is 18. if your child is not yet at the age of majority, she has no rights under the law (except, of course, not being abused). i would try dr. phil's "commando parenting." sending her to her room when it is filled with her paraphernalia, phone, tv, vidio games, etc. is like sending her to disneyland. try removing everything from her room but a mattress, a "pallet." she earns the other stuff one at a time by following the rules. if she messes up, she may well lose some of her stuff.
i have bp, chronic excruciating back pain, and copd, with the chronic bronchitis becoming active quite often. several days in the hospital last month from it. my wife doesn't cut me any slack. i get up and do my daily activities (shower, clean the cat litter tray, have a breathing treatment, etc) and am ready to go by 9:00. if something happens, like my back kept me wake most of last night, my wife and i renegotiate the start time. it works. of course i want to get and stay as well as i can and my wife wants to help get and keep me there. we have a synergy. i suggest getting one with your daughter. it won't be easy. neither was dieing on the cross (if you believe that it really happened). by the way, not everyone on this board is christian and some might take offence at the rather fundamentalist sharing that went on in this thread. personally, i believe that if a religion or belief helps a person deal with this world, more power to them and their belief. however, i happen to be one of those who is not a christian: i'm jewish. and, yes, i know what the perfect love of my god is. in judaism, hell is the state of being without god. heaven is the state of being with god. Micah said, "what doth the lord require of thee? but to love mercy. to do justly. and to walk humbly with YOUR [emphasis added] god." being close to my god is just as important to me as it is for any christian or muslim or buddhist or whatever. we all seek the same unity with our god(s). may he/she bless you with enlightenment.
Good point sarafena
Hospitalization can be a life saver. Chances are, she's not deciding to not take meds and make the proper lifestyle changes, her bp is. If she's "forced" to get medicated and stop taking drugs/alcohol/caffiene/etc her thoughts on this may change. Once you feel a little more normal, you kinda want to keep that going (at least for me). I hope things get better for you and your family
Post Edited (MMMNAVY) : 4/28/2008 8:56:47 AM (GMT-6)
I agree that this is unhealthy behavior and I whole-heartedly understand that you love her and want the best for her and your family. However, now it sounds like things are escalating and getting dangerous.
I'm going to share my story with you regarding my son who is now almost 16 (I'll try to keep this short). When he was 10 he became depressed and suicidal and I had to hospitalize him in a psychiatric ward for 12 days. This was the most heart-wrenching thing I have ever done as a parent, we never ever have to expect to do that with our children. After returning home on some new meds, he ran away several times. He was even taken to the police department in handcuffs once because he became physical with both myself and his sister (my husband wasn't home at the time). I wasn't able to physically restrain him, that's why I called the police. The police did tell me that if I felt endangered by him, I could restrain him even though he was a minor - it was just that I'm not physically able to do it, he's too strong. This also resulted in a hospitalization. Within the course of 6 months he was hospitalized a total of 4 times, the last time because he set a fire in my house.
As much as I loved him, I knew that I had to take drastic measures because I didn't know what he would do next. I then found out that he had been beating on his sister as well as everything else. I pressed charges against him for the fire and the beatings. When we went to court, he was immediately taken out of our home and put in placement. During the placement, a battery of tests were done, different meds were tried, he had to participate in therapy (which he wouldn't do when he was living at home). The final diagnosis was Major Depression with Psychotic Features (he hears voices when not on meds); Bipolar still hasn't been completely ruled out and it wouldn't surprise me if he ends up with that diagnosis some day.
He was in placement for 2 years, was able to come home on weekends, holidays, and vacations as long as he didn't have any major problems during the week at the treatment center. He did have problems here and there, but was always able to come home on those passes.
Although these decisions I had to make were extremely difficult for me and I second-guessed myself every step of the way, it was the best thing I could have done for him. He is on the right combination of meds and is doing well at home (has been home for nearly 2 years now), his grades are good and is looking for a summer job.
So remember, you may have to make some tough decisions about your daughter, but you have to think of the safety of your daughter as well as the rest of your family. I hope this story has helped a little bit (even though this turned out to be longer than I had intended). I will keep you and your family in my thoughts.
Co-Moderator Anxiety/Panic Disorders
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I am not a medical professional, any advice give is purely from personal experience.
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Dx: Agoraphobia, Anxiety/Panic Disorders, Barrett's Esophagus, Bipolar Disorder, Depression, Essential Tremors, Fibromyalgia, I.B.S., Mitral Valve Prolapse, Narcolepsy, PTSD, Restless Leg Syndrome, Acid Reflux, Sleep Apnea
Rx: Abilify, Flexeril, Lamictal, Neurontin, Nexium, Requip, Ritalin LA, Rozerem, Valium
“Be a good listener. Your ears will never get you into trouble.” - Frank Tyger
In my opinion you need to contact whoever is prescribing her medication and call them and let them know what has been taking place with her. I would suggest you tell him/her that your daughter is in a crisis situation and you would like to have her admitted for a proper evaluation and treatment.
When people with bipolar get out of control like your daughter is, the hospital is the best decision you can make for her. She will get the proper care, proper medication adjustment, as well as group therapy and other forms of treatment from professionals who know exactly know how to care for people who have a mental illness.
Whenever I was hospitalized I came home healthier and in a better place. You can also ask about out patient therapy programs available in your area before she gets discharged to she is going into another help/support network.
You may also want to consider getting her involved with a talk therapy therapist for herself to be part of her long term wellness program. Most people with bipolar also see a therapist on a regular basis.
And find some books on bipolar and learn as much as you can about this illness because her family should be a major part of her support network.
Post Edited (MMMNAVY) : 4/29/2008 2:50:25 PM (GMT-6)
Why can't you just ban "dominatly2real" from the board instead? She has been warned enough already and still persists.
Post Edited (MMMNAVY) : 4/29/2008 7:49:31 AM (GMT-6)