Co-Moderator Anxiety/Panic Disorders
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I am not a medical professional, any advice give is purely from personal experience.
Always seek professional advice from your doctor.
Dx: Agoraphobia, Anxiety/Panic Disorders, Barrett's Esophagus, Bipolar Disorder, Depression, Essential Tremors, Fibromyalgia, I.B.S., Mitral Valve Prolapse, Narcolepsy, PTSD, Restless Leg Syndrome, Acid Reflux, Sleep Apnea
Rx: Abilify, Flexeril, Lamictal, Neurontin, Nexium, Requip, Ritalin LA, Rozerem, Valium
“Be a good listener. Your ears will never get you into trouble.” - Frank Tyger
I am sorry to hear you are still having these problems. I know this may sound a bit devious, but, the only way I got my partner to understand the anxiety was to make him feel it. We planned a night out for dinner and I took the credit card he always uses out of his wallet. Once we finished dinner and got the check he went to get his credit card and it wasn't there. He frantically searched through the wallet over and over and was really getting nervous. He knew it was in there, but it wasn't. I paid the bill and he wanted to go straight home and he started to search. I went upstairs to the bedroom and I told him I found it. It must have fallen out while getting ready. He couldn't figure out how it happend but we left it at that and he calmed down. The next day I sat down with him and discussed my anxiety attacks and used the way he felt when he thought he lost the card as a reference and he finally understood what it feels like. He still doesn't understand why it hasppens all the time and what triggers it, but it is a step closer. I know this is probably the wrong way, but maybe you can take parts of it and make it work for you. I was just at my wits end. I know I will probably get blasted for this from the others here, but it worked for me and that's really all that matters. I don't know how you can get him to understand mood swings. Maybe buy him a fake lottery card that is a winner, let him get all happy and excited then tell him it's not real. I have seen this on many funniest video shows and It sure looks like a high and a low to me. Anyway, best of luck. I hope someone will be able to give you some better advice that will help you out. Take care
Hi Wen,....I KNOW it's been a long time!
I did the same as you. I bought all the books about depression and bipolar, etc. and my husband was just never a reader.
What helped me in that area was talking to my therapist about this same issue as you described. My therapist asked me to tell my husband that she would like for him to come to my next therapy session with me so that he and her could both help me with something I was going through.
My husband asked me what it was all about and I told him I'm having a hard time expressing some things to you and my therapist asked me to offer you the invitation to come to my next visit with me so that she can help me with expressing some things that I felt were important.
He asked me what they were and I told him I would just really like it if he were to come with me and we could discuss it there with my therapist. He said, if it will help you, sure I will come.
Then when we got there, I introduced her to him. My therapist explained to my husband that I really felt it was important for him to understand a little bit of how bipolar works and that I want him to know and understand how hard/difficult ect., things are for me because of my bipolar. After I would share a situation, she would go into further detail to explain how bipolar works and why I do some of the things I do.
It made a huge difference. He then was able to become a stronger support person for me. Now if I need for him to come to an appointment with me, he knows there is a reason why and never refuses me. He is my #1 support person. Often times when I am having a hard time dealing with something, my therapist will ask me, "Would you like to bring your husband next time, so that I can explain some things about you to him?" And then I make the decision myself whether or not I want to bring him. Sometimes I ask her if I can bring him in next session so that she can help me explain to him what issues I am dealing with at the moment if my mind is just overwhelmed with things and I just can't get it out straight.
Hope this helps. Hope you stay well.