Hi Wen,....I KNOW it's been a long time!
I did the same as you. I bought all the books about depression and bipolar, etc. and my husband was just never a reader.
What helped me in that area was talking to my therapist about this same issue as you described. My therapist asked me to tell my husband that she would like for him to come to my next therapy session with me so that he and her could both help me with something I was going through.
My husband asked me what it was all about and I told him I'm having a hard time expressing some things to you and my therapist asked me to offer you the invitation to come to my next visit with me so that she can help me with expressing some things that I felt were important.
He asked me what they were and I told him I would just really like it if he were to come with me and we could discuss it there with my therapist. He said, if it will help you, sure I will come.
Then when we got there, I introduced her to him. My therapist explained to my husband that I really felt it was important for him to understand a little bit of how bipolar works and that I want him to know and understand how hard/difficult ect., things are for me because of my bipolar. After I would share a situation, she would go into further detail to explain how bipolar works and why I do some of the things I do.
It made a huge difference. He then was able to become a stronger support person for me. Now if I need for him to come to an appointment with me, he knows there is a reason why and never refuses me. He is my #1 support person. Often times when I am having a hard time dealing with something, my therapist will ask me, "Would you like to bring your husband next time, so that I can explain some things about you to him?" And then I make the decision myself whether or not I want to bring him. Sometimes I ask her if I can bring him in next session so that she can help me explain to him what issues I am dealing with at the moment if my mind is just overwhelmed with things and I just can't get it out straight.
Hope this helps. Hope you stay well.
Diagnosed Bipolar - August 2004
Crohns disease - 1995
Arthritis & Fibromyalgia