I like you and most others here at one time were very productive in our lives; jobs, activities, etc,etc---I have not worked in 4 years and I am on disability also. Sometimes I almost worry myself into a frenzy about not working--but like you my doc told me I will never be able to mentally go back and work in the corporate world. How does one take this? I felt really low but I had to stop and realize I am not the same person I use to be. I don't know about others here but I had a very hard time excepting this new me. I have been in therapy for 3 years, on meds for the same time and feel like I am about to lose it at any given time. The days I no longer care about, I don't care what I do, if I leave home--just as long as I remember my doc appts or other important appts so I don't look like the nut I feel. I am going thru a rapid-cycle which started on this past fri--so if any of you have this experience you know this is madden, madden all day long.
My doc told me something I want to share with all of us----Accept where you are and stop trying to fix it. Sometimes we need to be broke in order to be refixed. Hope this helps with the pressure that comes with this illness.
I too am on disability for my crohns disease but I also know that for me, right now, even if my crohns gets better I am in no condition right now mentally to hold down a job.
I know everyone is in a different place with their illness, but not everyone who has bipolar is incapable of working. There are many people with bipolar, who have their illness well managed and are able to hold down very successful jobs. Bipolar isn't a death sentence that we will never be good enough for something. It's hard right now, because of what you are going through and it makes it very difficult to see yourself healthy in the future. It may take some of us a long time, but we can get there.
Here is a list of successful people who have bipolar:
Virginia Woolf (poet, novelist)