overriding thoughts of bipolar.

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Regular Member

Date Joined May 2008
Total Posts : 136
   Posted 5/11/2008 12:10 AM (GMT -6)   
I have so many questions and there are so many things that I don't understand still.  But I am trying to reign myself in, I don't want everyone getting tired of seeing my posts, LOL. 
Anyway, one of the more pressing questions I have is, Does bipolar shadow every thought that you have?  Since I have been diagnosed, it seems that is all I can think about.  escpecially when the woman on the other board told me that I am not bipolar and suggesting other possiblities instead.  I obsessed about it for two days.  I was depressed and I couldn't stop thinking about it. I even dreamed about it.  I started to doubt my diagnosis and even researched some other possiblities but nothing else fits.  So now, my mind isn't racing with thoughts of bipolar but it does override all other thoughts.  Does it diminish with time or will I always be thinking about the fact that I am bipolar?  At first it was a relief to know what was wrong.  Now it seems that it is a burden. I know I will have it the rest of my life.  But it's like the saying goes.  "ignorance is bliss".  Sometimes I am feeling really confused about it.  I even asked my husband yesterday if my moods and the swings are reallly that bad.  He said yes.  It disrupts the whole house and it causes stress for everyone.  especially when i am angry or they have to pick up the slack at the times when I can't function.  I am in a mixed most of the time so I never know what I am going to be feeling next.  But the thought that I am bipolar is always there.  will it ever stop?  I have my next appointment with my pdoc on the 19th.  The meds are starting to help a little bit.  I don't go to the extremes so much anymore.  I can at least function, if just barely, and I can control my anger more, somewhat.  But sometimes I am just so confused.  is all of this normal?  as normal as bipolar can be that is.

I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it!

Post Edited (twisted71) : 5/10/2008 11:13:08 PM (GMT-6)

Regular Member

Date Joined Feb 2008
Total Posts : 220
   Posted 5/11/2008 11:56 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi Twisted,

I know what you are talking about (being a gf of bipolar man),its very stressful for family members esp partner to deal with certain times.I am so happy to know you going to doc soon.

i am so proud of you that you can control your anger !!!!!!!!!!
its normal to get confused and get obsessed about being bipolar ,but your husband knows about it and so he can support you better.

i wish my bf admits it too so i can help him more but he seems in denial and so can't admit it and conceals it(makes me sad).

you are lucky to have supportive family so you will overcome your fears !!

keep us posted.

Never work just for money or for power. They won't save your soul or help you sleep at night.
~Marian Wright Edelman~

I have discovered that all human evil comes from this, man's being unable to sit still in a room.
~Blaise Pascal~

olivia of course
Veteran Member

Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 1523
   Posted 5/11/2008 12:42 PM (GMT -6)   

When I first got diagnosed about 3 years ago, I too was consumed with bipolar thoughts. I became obsessed with it for a short while, but eventually went away. Like you said, "Ignorance is Bliss". You don't analyze you behaviors or situations as much before you know you have bipolar, even if you think you might have it. But know you are not alone with these thoughts.

Also, anger is a huge issue with people who have bipolar or now. I think it gets magnified with bipolar in the mix. Try not to worry too much about, you are still trying to figure things out.

Olivia. Bipolar Co-Moderator

Only by seeking challenges can we hope to find the best in ourselves. ~~ Robert Rodriguez

Never let your yesterday ruin your today.

Veteran Member

Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 3715
   Posted 5/11/2008 1:46 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi Twisted,

My thoughts are much the same as Olivia's -- I think it's pretty normal to be consumed by thoughts about your bipolar right now, you've just been diagnosed with a controversial and mysterious disorder. I would put that energy to good, though, (and I suspect you already are,) by doing research and trying to learn as much about bipolar disorder as you can. It's COMPLETELY normal to question whether or not the diagnosis really fits you, but trust your doctor and your husband, as none of us is objective enough to truly see how our moods shift and behave. Part of coming to terms with the bipolar is learning how to be more conscious of your moods and behaviors. You will have bipolar for the rest of your life, but you will learn how to live with it too, and with time it will feel like less of a burden. Of course, you will have episodes, and those are never fun, but with medication and self-awareness, you can do your best to keep the episodes to a minimum and take care of your family to boot. Keep your husband in the loop, keep asking him for feedback. He's your number one partner. He's an objective eye who can tell you when you're starting to get a little too angry, a little to "high" or a little to "low." Let him help you learn how to gauge your moods.

Let us know if you'd like some recommendations for reading.

Co-Moderator, Bipolar Forum
Bipolar II

Regular Member

Date Joined Apr 2008
Total Posts : 112
   Posted 5/13/2008 1:09 PM (GMT -6)   
At first it feels like you have to hide it or deny it. Then I remember feeling like others were thinking bad things about me if they new the "truth" of my illlnesss. NOw I tell people openly so they know why I don't do the things others do - the truth turned out time and time again to make my life easier. I haven't had a bad experience. I've been diagnosed with lots of things- the worst was not what I had but who I was. The rights I needed to lose. The fact that I am different and need to be treated differently. I do believe that there has been an acceptance of depression and bipolr in recent years. But it hasn't been put into action by us. People need to know depression and bipolar and psychosis are scary, are life threatening, and that we need their help. With a little help, I do much better, and so do my children.


Georgie Girl
Regular Member

Date Joined May 2008
Total Posts : 319
   Posted 5/13/2008 3:23 PM (GMT -6)   
After I lost 13 days of my life to anxiety (was hospitalized for a week, don't remember several days before, during, or two days after) and am bipolar, I am obsessed with reading about both anxiety and bipolar and the various medications, reactions to meds, good and bad.  I want to talk about what happened to me also but family and friends can only stand to listen to the story once or twice.  So in some ways, I too am obsessing about being bipolar.

Georgie Girl

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