I've Know for while I've had a problem. But is it real common to want to keep everything to yourself??? I'm so afraid to tell anyone about how I feel.. I'm always the strong one, I don't want to admit I have a problem. The last time I told my father I had a problem he told me to not stupid and stop all the foolishness.I started a journal so I can write down my thoughts down it helps some. I get so afraid to say much to my family.I know I have a short fuse right now and it upsets everyone. I don't want to be blown off. My girls tend to blow off it I say something to them,and that makes me so mad. And I'm having problems with my crohn's on top of it. Most of the weekend I wanted to crawl into a little hole alone. But instead I put on my fake happy face and went about the days. I'm kind of looking forward to going to the therapist on wen. A lot of the time it feels like my skin is crawling, it drives me crazy. And at the drop of a hat I'm crying. I hate the emotional feelings all the time. The lack of sleep some because of pain (crohn's), and some I can't turn my brain off. I been having really wared dreams that wake me up to. I only think someone who has been in my shoe really understands what I'm feeling. I feel stupid talking to my husband he just sits and stare at me. He has on clue what I'm feeling, at times he gets up set at thing because he don't believe in what I say. He knows I need help but he don't know what to say so he won't say anything. It makes it hard for me to say anything. I know I'm very loved and He will do anything to help me, but I feel like such a burden to the whole family. There are so many times I feel they would all be better off if I was gone. I love my family .I have to beauty full grandsons and their a big reason I keep it together as much as I do. Their the reason I look forward to a next day.If I didn't have them I don't know where I'd be right now. Thanks for letting me vent awhile..
Dx June 07 crohn's take asacol 2x3 a day , entcort 1 a day ,lotrel for HBP , omeprezole for stomach , potassium , one a day crohn's & colitis therapy , calcium & Vit D , lomotil for lose stools , tramadol for pain , started humira in Feb 08