I just want to scream!

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twisted71
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2008
Total Posts : 136
   Posted 5/20/2008 9:50 PM (GMT -7)   
And cry at the same time.  Dh wasn't happy about how much we have left in the bank this morning. He is also upset because I spent most of it on groceries. But groceries are so expensive here. It costs me around $250 per visit to the store and that is maybe 2 to 3 times a week. And he wants me to limit our grocery bill to $250 to $300 a week. Now tell me, can anyone with a family of 9 limit their grocery bill to that amount in a week? The whole thing is, as usual, more is going out than what is coming in. almost half of his salary goes to the bank for a loan, which he negotiated that price to pay it off faster. then a quarter of it goes to the rent and the rest to bills and groceries. Plus we send $500 to my mom every month and he says that is the reason why we don't have money. now that $500 is maybe an 1/8 of what he makes a month. So how can that be the reason why we don't have money? If we didn't pay half of it every month to the bank that would make a big difference. but he doesn't see it that way. he was the one who promised my mom we would send her money every month. Now he brings it up every time we have problems. We have already cut how much we send her in half. How can I get him to realize that the bank loan repayment is way too much and it's not my moms fault, or my fault (which I am sure he thinks it is, due to my spending sprees. But I have been very careful this month.) without him getting mad? I can never talk to him about money. He always says it is not a good time. But it is never a good time. He always gets upset. And since I have been diagnosed, he is more apt to blame me. I just can't take being blamed for the money situation every month. And the dumb ass still leaves the card with me.

Anyway, I guess I am done venting. I am really glad you guys are here.
AJL
 
I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it!


missflip
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2008
Total Posts : 163
   Posted 5/21/2008 12:00 PM (GMT -7)   
Breathe.  Don't forget to breathe.  Money is always a touchy subject.  Always.  I would say to try to talk to him but it sounds like you already try to and he just isn't receptive to your attempts.  I would tell him that you are tired of always being blamed for the money situation and get that off your chest.  It might make you feel better even if he gets upset.  You could mention that the only way you can buy groceries for that amount is to put everyone in the family on a huge diet!  Including him!  I don't know.  At least you vented and hopefully that makes you feel better.  Always here.
 
Missflip
"I'm not crazy; I'm just a little unwell."  Matchbox Twenty


twisted71
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2008
Total Posts : 136
   Posted 5/21/2008 12:30 PM (GMT -7)   
I tell him almost every month that I am tired of being blamed.  i think he is just as frustrated as I am about it and doesn't know how else to handle it except blame me. I do feel better after venting thanks.  It's funny because when he was at work today, his old boss from another department came to him and wants him to go back and work him again.  He said that he has no good quality control engineers and wants him back.  Dh asked him if it involves a lot of travelling (we would get a good amount of extra money) and the guy said yes.  So dh is taking that into consideration.  At least he is thinking of ways to improve our situation.  But the travelling may include going to France for a year and then to Korea for a year and we would stay here in Qatar.  So we are still thinking and praying about it. 

AJL
 
I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it!


serafena
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 3715
   Posted 5/21/2008 7:21 PM (GMT -7)   
Oh, that kind of traveling would be hard, wouldn't it, leaving his family behind. But as you say, it would be good for the family. Such hard decisions.

I'm glad the vent helped. Feel free. No one minds here. (((hugs)))

serafena
Serafena
Co-Moderator, Bipolar Forum
Bipolar II


Ne Ne
Regular Member


Date Joined Apr 2008
Total Posts : 243
   Posted 5/22/2008 7:48 AM (GMT -7)   
twisted, you can feed a family of 9 for a lot less than what you spend. I feed a family of 9 which 7 are adults for around 7 or 8 hundred a month. If you don't go every week and go every other and if you don't make fast per made meals and do it the old fashion way your money will go further. Buy more bulk join a sam's club, if you have a freezer buy like a half a cow. And I don't know why your sending your mother money but, you can tell your husband she can just move in with you if sending her money is a problem. I had my mother live with me for 8 years before she died, and for me it was great because she helped with my girls when I couldn't handle them. (when I was having one of those days). My girls never knew I had a problem until now. And money is getting tight everywhere now.


Ne Ne
49 Female
Dx June 07 Crohn's take asacol 2x3 a day , entcort 1x2 day ,lotrel for HBP , omeprezole for stomach , potassium , one a day crohn's & colitis therapy , calcium & Vit D , lomotil for lose stools , tramadol for pain , started humira in Feb 08
Dx Bipolar May 08


twisted71
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2008
Total Posts : 136
   Posted 5/22/2008 8:27 PM (GMT -7)   
Serafena, It would be hard on us but it would probably give more than twice as much as he is making now. and me would probably come home at least once a month. And thanks for the hugs.

Ne Ne, food is more expensive here than in the states and we don't have anything like sam's club. I wish we did. when we were in the states I was a member of sam's club and it helped. but here, everything is just too much. We are sending my mom money because we talked her into in selling her trailor and retiring and we promised here that we would send her money every month to help supplement the salary she would have been getting if she was working. After my dad passed away, she was having a really hard time. She did live with for a couple of years before we came back here. Now she lives with my sister but my sister doesn't have the extra money to make my moms car payments, which we helped her get. I would love for my mom to move in with us and so would dh. But she doesn't want to move half way around the world full time. She will come here for 6 months at a time and live with my sister for 6 months at a time. But we would still need to pay her car payment. Her social security just won't cover it and her other bills. We were also paying her rent until she moved in with my sister. That's when we cut it in half.
AJL
 
I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it!

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