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bringmebackhome
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2008
Total Posts : 67
   Posted 6/16/2008 5:18 AM (GMT -7)   

So as some of you know I had my appointment on Friday June 13.

I must say my new Dr. seems nice.

My social worker did sit in on the session but it was okay, I didn't mind after awhile.

So, I kind of just gave her an easy recap of my childhood and what I've been through... and how I was currently feeling.

She asked a few general questions and than came the end "Is there anything else you want to tell me or think I should know"

 

I choked... I was already in tears from talking about my past and I couldn't look at her or my social worker... I sat there shaking... but I wasn't even actually sitting there, it kind of felt like I had step outside my body and watched the rest of the session carry on from someone else’s point of view... I tried to speak it didn't work... than after a minute or two I said it.... I looked down towards my social workers way than back at my lap and I told my Dr. in front of my social worker about how I was molested when I was younger... and the nightmares... Dr. K seemed very understanding yet I was still so ashamed and embarrassed after I had told her that... She told me she wants to try me on an anti-depressment instead of a mood stabilizer at first and she gave me some sleeping pills... I'm now taking Welbutrin and trazadone.

 

After the session with the dr. my social worker drove me home, she said she was proud of me for being able to say it... but she wants to work with me on confronting my friend’s parents or my mom... I can't tell my mom she'd flip and not on them but me... and I feel disgusting now that I even told my dr. and social worker... I feel like every time I see either of them now that's all they will think about, that's all they'll see. My social worker kind of already makes me feel that way I know she just wants to help me get over it but she texted me that night I told her and the next day asking if I was okay, she never use to do that. I know she won't actually make me tell my friend parents or my mom I think she just said it because she thought it was something I might want to do but I don't want to... I want to shrivel into a deep dark hole and just forget it ever happened.

 

So that's how it went and that's the latest...

 

Oh and school's ending on Wednesday, I usually get on here from school... my mom doesn't let me use the computer at home... it doesn't even have internet set up so hopefully I can get on from time to time, but the library's kind of far from where I live so it might not be easy...but I will try my hardest... I do get email alerts sent to my cell phone I just can't access this site from my cell phone because it requires too much memory or something like that...


bipolar I

Post Edited (bringmebackhome) : 6/16/2008 6:21:40 AM (GMT-6)


serafena
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 3715
   Posted 6/16/2008 7:22 AM (GMT -7)   
GOOD FOR YOU!!!! I know it was hard, and you're feeling like it was maybe not the right thing to do, but it was. Your social worker texted you because she is worried about you. She knows how hard it is to come out with something like that. You are going to feel better in time because you let it out. It's so much better than carrying that secret alone in your heart. If you don't want to tell your friend or your mom, then don't. You don't have to. Good luck with the new drugs.

It'll be sad having you around less. We're always here when you get the chance to stop in. Don't forget about us!

serafena
Serafena
Co-Moderator, Bipolar Forum
Bipolar II


missflip
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2008
Total Posts : 163
   Posted 6/16/2008 1:18 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi. I am proud of you too. It took a lot of guts and strength to tell your doc. I agree with Serafena totally. Your soc. worker was just worried about you. Believe me, when they look at you, that is not what they are going to always be thinking about. They will think of how strong you are and you are!! You just jumped a major hurdle and should be proud of yourself. Don't feel disgusted that you told them, not at all. You should be proud of yourself. We will miss you not being here as much. Please try to keep us updated. I think getting some sleep will help you a lot. Good luck with the meds. And please, don't ever hold anything back from your doc, ever. She is there to help and has seen and heard it all!! Don't be ashamed either; it is not your fault. Your main concern should be healing and getting better. Again, you don't have to tell your mom (probably best for you that you don't) or your friends. Concentrate on getting better, healing, and putting your life together.

Take care.

Missflip
"I'm not crazy; I'm just a little unwell."  Matchbox Twenty

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