Just trying to deal with bp fiance

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Diskus
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 110
   Posted 7/2/2008 7:50 AM (GMT -7)   
To start: bp/schizo affective diagnosed years ago, treated and untreated, we meet, after a year he has severe episode, we find GOOD support, GREAT psychiastrist, AMAZING psychotherapist and the right meds (finally). We go to couple's counseling with his therapist and he has one on one sessions with her. Layers of issues in addition to bp, my fiance is a true survivor (adopted, adoptive mother dies, dad remarries, family lives in denial anything ever happened). I am committed to him more now than before his diagnosis and love him with all my heart. I just met with my own therapist for the first time and I'm finding it hard to convey the pity party that's going on in my head. I wish this wasn't our situation, I know we are far ahead of the game, we're learning everything we can about the illness, my fiance's stressors, med-interaction (no advil w/ lithium, who knew!)...we're just coping day by day. i'm better at the one day at a time thing than my fiance is, so that's hard. Trying to be the cheerleader for the both of us has depleted me. I just want us to be able to maintain stability for as long as we can, recognizing there will be unstable days in the mix.
 
Just poking around this board to figure out whether there are other spouses coping...how do you cope?
 
Thanks in advance for any insight.

sukay
Veteran Member


Date Joined Feb 2003
Total Posts : 1432
   Posted 7/2/2008 8:03 AM (GMT -7)   

Hi Diskus,

Welcome! I'm sure you will find the support you are looking for here. We have quite a few spouses/significant others that are also in your position and post on this board as well.

I'm sure some of them will be checking in today or within the next day so I hope that you continue to check back in.

There is a lot of support around here. I wish both of you wellness!


serafena
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 3715
   Posted 7/2/2008 8:24 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi diskus,

Welcome to HealingWell and to our board. Sukay's right. We have a number of spouses/significant others on our board. Glad to have you in the mix too. Good luck with everything. It'll be great to have your perspective as well.

serafena
Serafena
Co-Moderator, Bipolar Forum
Bipolar II


Diskus
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 110
   Posted 7/2/2008 9:09 AM (GMT -7)   

Thanks for the welcome. I've been hesitant to go to my local NAMI support group because I feel like we have therapy every week and we try to conduct our lives in a manner that doesn't revolve around my fiance's illness (while recognizing it's presence at the same time)

 

Talk about a roller coaster :)


serafena
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 3715
   Posted 7/2/2008 3:55 PM (GMT -7)   
It's so true. You want to try and live a life that isn't completely dominated by this disorder, but it still manages to affect most aspects of life. What a place to be stuck. Hang in there...

serafena
Serafena
Co-Moderator, Bipolar Forum
Bipolar II


Diskus
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 110
   Posted 7/2/2008 4:31 PM (GMT -7)   
I have to say, I don't feel stuck. We're getting married soon and between therapy and medication, our lives aren't crippling or anything. I love him so much and he was never violent, always loving, just angry with his life when manic. I feel lucky to have him by my side.

Again, he's a survivor. We're not lost, we're in love :) That's not to detract from the trauma we've experienced together...I just feel like we're in a stable place right now. A place we've worked hard to get to. It's a dance we've learned, really..managing the effects of his illness with our everyday life. I have to stress that lithium is his miracle drug. He was on everything...depakote, abilify, seroquel, every name brand you can imagine...except the good old generic. It took years for a good psychiatrist to ask him "have you ever tried Lithium?" eureka. An important lesson. Ask questions!!!

What is your experience with bipolar Serafena?

serafena
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 3715
   Posted 7/2/2008 8:40 PM (GMT -7)   
I have bipolar II -- I've never had classic mania where I lose myself completely, and for that I am grateful. Instead I get angry at everything, am easily irritated and hard to live with, get jittery and feel like I'm jumping out of my skin. I can't sleep and I eat and eat. This is called hypomania. My depressions are every bit as deep as regular depressions. I've been hospitalized for suicidal ideation, I'm sorry to say. Right now I'm feeling "normal-ish" -- as normal as I get, with a very low grade depression. I've just climbed out of a depression which had me for a good 9 months. Really sticky one. Meds were crucial in helping break that, and I have a fantastic psych and a really wonderful therapist. Most importantly, I have a terrific husband who is really patient and loving with me. He took a lot of time to learn about the disorder, is really kind to me, and tries really hard to keep my moods in perspective. It's not always easy though, and he caves in sometimes just like any normal person. He'll yell back occasionally, walk away. But he's my rock. He keeps me steady.

serafena
Serafena
Co-Moderator, Bipolar Forum
Bipolar II

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