Hello everyone, I"m new here

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Lorraine-NL
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 81
   Posted 7/6/2008 8:47 PM (GMT -7)   
I was diagnosed with Bipolar probably around 10 years ago by my GP, but upon seeing a Pdoc, was told that I just had mild depression. I struggled really hard to cope with this, being prescribed many different types of medications over the past 8 years. None of which seemed to do anything to help. Two years ago, I saw a Pdoc who insisted that I was schizophrenic and prescribed appropriate medications....many, many different ones. Most of the time, I was like a zombie. I didn't know if I was in this world or not. I was severly depressed because of this and the fact that I couldn't take care of my husband and children. I finally stopped all medications and with the help of a very understanding GP, I started seeing another Pdoc. It's been a long road, and I"m still not feeling like I think I should. I've had many problems with alot of medications...I refuse to live my life sitting in a fog watching the world go by. It frustrates my Pdoc, but I keep reminding him that it's my life and until he lives a day in it, he'll never understand. I'm taking Lithium, for the second time, along with clonazepam. The first trial with Lithium, I was taking 1200 mg daily, but a couple of months into it, I had tremors, hair loss, memory loss and I had no train of thought. I was taken off of the lithium and tried with a couple more different drugs, only to go back to lithium again. My Pdoc thinks that if I try a lower dose (450 mg/daily), I won't have the harsh side effects that I was experiencing. Well, I still have the hair loss and occasional tremors, but the memory loss isn't as drastic as before. I was also taking Temazepam because I was suffering from insomnia. After taking that for a year, my Pdoc asked me to stop it. I've been off the Temazepam for 2 months now, and the erratic sleep patterns have returned. 
Well, there's my life in a nutshell. I"m glad to have found this forum as I really have no one that I can relate to. My family and friends have a minimal understanding of Bipolar, thinking that it's "all in my head"....boy if they only knew. lol I look forward to reading and posting here.
Bipolar II
Lithium; Clonazepam; Ativan


serafena
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 3715
   Posted 7/7/2008 7:32 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Lorraine,

Welcome to HealingWell and to our board.

What an ordeal! It must be so frustrating to have all those doctors telling you different things over time. And the medication -- ooh boy. That sounds awful. I'm glad you took things into your own hands.

I'm sorry your family chooses to be resistant. How is your husband? Is he supportive? That's really the most important thing. Would he get more educated if you asked him to?

serafena
Serafena
Co-Moderator, Bipolar Forum
Bipolar II


closure
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 471
   Posted 7/7/2008 8:22 AM (GMT -7)   
my family was and some still are that way. it's horrible when you feel like you have no one to support you. I've even lost some friends over this. I'm on disability and they still think I'm just lazy, that it's all in my head, or that I can be cured overnight...they don't understand how long it takes to find the right pdoc, the right med, etc. that's part of the reason I'm here I need all the support I can get. looks like we both found a good place. you're not alone! *hugs*
27 female
 
Bipolar, panic disorder, PTSD, PCOS, hashimoto's disease/hypothyroidism, and in the process of being diagnosed with crohns. Too many meds to list!


Lorraine-NL
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 81
   Posted 7/7/2008 8:23 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi, and thanks for the welcome.
 
My husband has some understanding of the disease, but what he doesn't understand is why my mood swings can be so severe some days and not others, or why I find it difficult to get out of bed some days and not others. He is good around the house and helps with all housework and meal preparations, he's even good when it comes to my personal care if I need it. Unfortunately, he gets really frustrated if my "down time " lasts for any length of time. We will argue and that will trigger nasty mood swings with me. He walks out and I go through the house , room by room , full of anger, stomping around like a 2 year old having a tantrum. Eventually I'll calm down, whether it will be with Ativan or on my own, and he'll return, walking on eggshells around me. I apologize and he doesn't say much. I wish I felt more "normal". But then, someone would have to define "normal" for me because I don't think I've ever felt that way in my life. eyes
Bipolar II
FMS
Lithium; Clonazepam; Ativan

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