Does anyone else struggle with shopping issues

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azteacher
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 80
   Posted 7/12/2008 11:23 AM (GMT -7)   
I think this is one of my bigger issues with this disorder.  I struggle with it daily.  In fact, right now, it's really bad.  With work getting ready to start up I want to buy new clothes for myself and my daughter and new supplies for my classroom. What do you do keep youself in check?  How do you control yourself when you go to the grocery store or when you have to get a gift for someone?  My shopping issues have gotten my family into a lot of trouble and I really want to stop this cycle.

Dailystruggle
New Member


Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 2
   Posted 7/12/2008 12:29 PM (GMT -7)   
i think i know what you mean, i struggle with this too. i can go to target for coffee, and run up a 200 dollar bill. i work with kids and i always seem to think i need to buy new stuff for them. sometimes i cant stop. i think its more an impulse than anything. i dont really know what to do for it, so a lot of times i go to the store with just 20 dollars, and leave my credit cards at home, that way i cant spend more than i have. sorry for the little advise, but thats all i got

closure
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 471
   Posted 7/12/2008 1:05 PM (GMT -7)   
This is one of my major problems with this disorder. I had my dad, who lives in a different house, take my credit cards with him. Well that helped to a point, but I soon discovered one online store kept my info on file so I could order without having the card in hand. Plus I had my major credit card number memorized. sad This has been an ongoing struggle for me and I can't figure out how to control it. I try to avoid stores, but with how easy it is to shop online I'm screwed. Before we postponed our wedding for health reasons and money troubles, I had bought 6, yes 6, wedding dresses. It was like a bridal boutique in here. Luckily I was able to sell most of them, but didn't get near the price I paid for them. One thing I do sometimes when I shop online is I try to go at a slow pace. When I'm manic I click click click and I've spent hundreds of dollars in a matter of minutes. When I try to slow it down by the time I get to the check out I realize what I'm doing and cancel the whole thing. If that doesn't work and I do buy if I'm better when they arrive I send everything back. I'll be keeping an eye on this thread to see if anyone has tips because I need them too!
27 female
 
Bipolar, panic disorder, PTSD, PCOS, hashimoto's disease/hypothyroidism, and in the process of being diagnosed with crohns. Too many meds to list!


M73
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 88
   Posted 7/12/2008 5:51 PM (GMT -7)   
I have a terrible shopping habit. I turned it around into something I could at least make a little profit from. I started selling clothes on ebay a few years back and opened a store on there now.

It fills the need to shop (quite a big need for some reason) and since I usually don't even want the things I used to shop for when I got them home I just list them on ebay now.

It's weird, shopping when I'm depressed snaps me out of it and shopping when I'm on a high (even though it's much worse then) tends to focus my mind.

closure
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 471
   Posted 7/12/2008 6:16 PM (GMT -7)   
I've also turned to ebay. My boyfriend was shocked by the amount of clothing I have...I mean there are just piles because it doesn't all fit in the closets I have or the dressers. So every now and then when I'm motivated I go through the piles and find clothes to sell. Some have never even been worn and still have the tags on them! You can sell more than just brand new clothes though, you won't get as much for the older clothes, but a few dollars here and there helps a lot and helps rid you of the piles of clothes you may have.
27 female
 
Bipolar, panic disorder, PTSD, PCOS, hashimoto's disease/hypothyroidism, and in the process of being diagnosed with crohns. Too many meds to list!


M73
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 88
   Posted 7/12/2008 6:36 PM (GMT -7)   
I have 254 things listed right now lol, thats how bad it is!

azteacher
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 80
   Posted 7/12/2008 8:08 PM (GMT -7)   
I am so glad I started this post. I shop when I am depressed, because I am depressed. I shop when I am manic because I am impulsive (or bored). I will buy myself hundreds of dollars worth of clothes and then just leave them in the bags in my closet. I have clothes that are over 10 years old that I have never worn. The thing is that its almost a hoarding thing too. I can't bring myself to sell or give them away even if they dont fit or have gone out of style because "what if I gain/lose weight" or "what if they come back in style". It's such a problem that my poor husband has to use our hallway closet as his closet because not one bit of his clothes fit in the master closet. And he is so amazing that he doesn't even complain about it (although maybe he should and then I wouldn't have half the clothes I do). Anyway, I do feel like in the last month I have done A LOT better. I think maybe the Topamax has worked a little on the shopping. Also, I have been avoiding situations that will get me into trouble. It helps knowing that I am not alone.

M73
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 88
   Posted 7/12/2008 8:19 PM (GMT -7)   
Oh, I see. I lack the hoarding thing, just the impulse thing I have I suppose.

If you ever want to sell them just message me I can give you pointers.

I still shop about 4 times a week though.

azteacher
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 80
   Posted 7/12/2008 8:32 PM (GMT -7)   
Thanks, M73. I really appreciate it.

closure
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 471
   Posted 7/12/2008 10:16 PM (GMT -7)   
azteacher said...
I am so glad I started this post. I shop when I am depressed, because I am depressed. I shop when I am manic because I am impulsive (or bored). I will buy myself hundreds of dollars worth of clothes and then just leave them in the bags in my closet. I have clothes that are over 10 years old that I have never worn. The thing is that its almost a hoarding thing too. I can't bring myself to sell or give them away even if they dont fit or have gone out of style because "what if I gain/lose weight" or "what if they come back in style". It's such a problem that my poor husband has to use our hallway closet as his closet because not one bit of his clothes fit in the master closet. And he is so amazing that he doesn't even complain about it (although maybe he should and then I wouldn't have half the clothes I do). Anyway, I do feel like in the last month I have done A LOT better. I think maybe the Topamax has worked a little on the shopping. Also, I have been avoiding situations that will get me into trouble. It helps knowing that I am not alone.
I wish my boyfriend was more understanding lol. He's not mean or anything, but from time to time he'll mention how he'd like a closet, half a closet, part of the dresser or even just one dresser drawer. sad He complained so much about one pile of clothes that I did finally pick them up, with his help, and we put them in a huge trash bag for now just to get them out of the way. I still have to sort through them and figure out where I'm going to put them though. I don't think my boyfriend is wrong at all about asking me to do this stuff...especially since he's not mean about it at all even when I say no or make excuses. I mean his clothes sit in a pile now too...sense a bad habit?
 
Do you know how to use ebay? If you have all those new clothes you could really be making out! Only downside to ebay is...it's easy to get sucked into buying stuff because of the auctions and the buy it nows. The auctions drag you in sometimes because of the competition, then the buy it nows are just a click away. So sometimes the good, the fact that you can get some money back, comes with the bad, the chance that'll you spend it all on ebay stuff. sad
 
You are definitely not alone. *hugs*
27 female
 
Bipolar, panic disorder, PTSD, PCOS, hashimoto's disease/hypothyroidism, and in the process of being diagnosed with crohns. Too many meds to list!


azteacher
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 80
   Posted 7/12/2008 10:34 PM (GMT -7)   
Oh, I definitely know how to use ebay. It has gotten me into a lot of trouble as well. When my daughter was born, I bought her lot after lot after lot of baby clothes. It was seriously insane. I've sold lots of stuff on ebay as well, but never my own personal clothing. I was engaged once before my current husband and we called off the wedding. I sold all of the wedding stuff on ebay. I think once I get over the whole "hoarding" aspect, I will sell some stuff. I have a size 2 Nicole Miller top (with tags) hanging in my closet that will never ever fit me.

Thanks for the advice :)

Georgie Girl
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2008
Total Posts : 319
   Posted 7/21/2008 1:41 PM (GMT -7)   
I shop and hoard.  I hoard shoes, purses, clothes, costume jewelry, mascara, lip gloss.  My DH has his side of the room and my stuff keeps creeping over to his side.  He calls "encroachment" when shoes or discarded clothing are on his side of the room.  He is a good guy.  I used to shop and drop the bags over the back fence and bring the stuff in via the back door so my DH wouldn't see that I'd been shopping. 
Georgie Girl


little b
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2008
Total Posts : 135
   Posted 7/21/2008 2:23 PM (GMT -7)   
i can't shop with my card, i have to take cash when i'm shopping. and i only bring a certain amount and that's it, that's all i have to spend. that's how i restrict myself. i spend money like it grows in my bathroom. =(
to suffer is not enough.


glassgirl
New Member


Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 8
   Posted 7/21/2008 3:10 PM (GMT -7)   
My husband has the same problem at times. What works for him is having access to only a little $ at a time and having to be accountable to someone. He will blow money on home projects that he fully intends to do when he's purchasing, but then looses steam and the bags sit, full of hardware store stuff. I usually give it some time and then take it all back. Last year I gathered it all up and bought his Christmas present with it, a $300 saw!
I know it's not an ideal answer, I also let him through everything in the cart sometimes and then right before we check out I have him go through the buggy and see if there's anything he can live without. He usually ends up putting most of it back.
Maybe you could try that on yourself. Before you get to the check out look at each item and ask yourself if you really need it or not. Try putting back whatever you can live without.
  Mom to 12 yr. old Bipolar son- diagnosed at 7yrs. old
currently taking Lamictal, Zxprexa, a no no...Paxil(hey, it works for him!)
  Also,  Wife husband 47 diagnosed this year with Bipolar/PTSD/ADD
currently taking Lamictal, Ambilify, Vivance
 
Take me in to, your darkest hour
And I'll never desert you, I'll stand by you
I'll stand by you
Won't let nobody hurt you, I'll stand by you
--The Pretenders
 


tyno3
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2008
Total Posts : 1081
   Posted 7/21/2008 5:53 PM (GMT -7)   
I.m also glad you did this blog. I, like many of us, thought it was just me. When I have a few extra dollars and can get into a store (Like Wallyorld), I ffeel my heart begin to race and almost feel full blown Manic. it had morphed into a most uncomfortable feeling b/c I am on assistance right and there is no room in the budget for shopping. There's not enough even for eating. So sometimes I'll spend some money meant for a bill or something and then really pay the price, Oh well we didn't sign up for this disease, I try to take a list and to honor It. So glad it's not just me. nono

lunadaisy
New Member


Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 11
   Posted 7/22/2008 10:37 AM (GMT -7)   
oh god yes. :( last year, after a bad depression that spiralled into hypomania, i maxxed out all of my zero-balance credit cards. i bought mountains of size zero clothes that i can't even fit into now because of all the Lexapro weight gain, lol. now i can barely afford groceries because i have so many credit card bills. the good news is, my cards are all maxxed so i can't shop anymore, ha!!

things i do to *try* to control my shopping:

- stay properly medicated. if i feel the impulse to shop, i let my therapist/psych know ASAP. a small med adjustment usually does the trick.
- stay OFF of ebay. (not selling, shopping). i spend way too much on there when i'm idle at work.
- if i go shopping, i bring a supportive and stern friend with me who will stop me from spending.
- *always* stick to my list and allow myself *one* fun item (under $20) per trip (like a lipstick or something).

i'm glad to know i'm not alone. this is my biggest weakness .... the spending. always has been ... even as a kid i would blow my entire allowance on bubblegum!!!

marthamae
Regular Member


Date Joined Jan 2008
Total Posts : 285
   Posted 7/22/2008 4:29 PM (GMT -7)   
I definitely shop for stress relief...fortunately it has not gotten me into any major trouble. However, I can see how it can.

Some of you were talking about hoarding and too many clothes, etc. Since I had a severe depression a year ago ( and some manic spells before that), my house had gotten way out of control. It wasn't filthy but it sure wasn't clean. The chaos was really adding to my stress and depression. I found a lot of help with the "flylady" system. The daily routines help me when I get up and feel blue. My house is now neat and organized and I feel like I have some control. People can come over without embarrassment. Maybe it will be helpful to someone else. There are a bunch of us on that forum with depression and bipolar issues.

She also has good info on there about dealing with overspending and your finances.

serafena
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 3715
   Posted 7/22/2008 6:41 PM (GMT -7)   
I don't know what the flylady system is. I've never heard of it.
Serafena
Co-Moderator, Bipolar Forum
Bipolar II


marthamae
Regular Member


Date Joined Jan 2008
Total Posts : 285
   Posted 7/22/2008 7:04 PM (GMT -7)   
It's flylady.net

It sounds a little weird, but it's a simple system of putting your home in order and getting it clean...one little step at a time. She's big on decluttering and doing a little each day so you're not overwhelmed. She focuses on simple routines, which I think are especially good with depressive people like me who often are frozen with inertia.

Her site is filled with info on all different areas of home life...from cooking dinner to weight loss to exercise to financial organization to you name it. It's all free. It's helped me a ton....as much or more than therapy for sure.

I'm really proud of how my home looks now. It's clean and neat and I can have people drop in or over to dinner anytime without panicking. It's a huge difference from before.

serafena
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 3715
   Posted 7/22/2008 7:35 PM (GMT -7)   
Thanks for the tip. I'll check it out.
Serafena
Co-Moderator, Bipolar Forum
Bipolar II

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