hello all -- another newbee! :)

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New Member

Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 11
   Posted 7/17/2008 4:29 PM (GMT -6)   
hello everyone! i stumbled across this message board and it's really scary for me to reach out but ... here i go *takes a deep breath* .....
i've been struggling with this disorder all of my life. it took doctors YEARS to pin down what was 'wrong' with me. as a child i used to hide under my bed and bang my head on the floorboards for hours, social anxiety, agoraphobia, ocd, depression, you name it ... so they knew i wasn't quite 'right'. they usually blamed it on my home life or raging hormones. :p
i began drinking at 9 years of age, 'self medicating' at the age of 22, sobered up at 32, and began 'legally medicating' two years ago, at 35. honestly the past two years have been just as crazy as all those years on bad things, but hopefully i'm on the right track now! i'm involved with yoga (love) and talk therapy (blah). blah because it seems like my therapists change every couple of months and their answer for everything is always for me to go out and meet "mr. right" ... heck, i'd like to learn how to stop driving *myself* crazy before i drive someone else crazy again (like i've done to every poor sucker in the past). ;)
right now i'm on a lexapro, gabitril, and topamax cocktail. the lexapro has caused me to put on 20 pounds that i can't shake and it's made me more depressed than ever. :(
i won't bore you with my long life story of homelessness, agoraphobia, obsessions, black-outs, drug addiction, schitzophrenia, weeks spent in bed sobbing or screaming, abusive relationships, on and on .... i just want this craziness to level the heck out, you know?? i'm finally holding down an 8-5 job and am living on my own for the first time in my life (without the support of the male species, which is why i'm not anxious to get involved with a guy again for awhile) ... ok sorry, i said i wouldn't bore you!! :)
thanks for reading my rambling. :)

Regular Member

Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 471
   Posted 7/17/2008 4:50 PM (GMT -6)   
Welcome! Congrats on the job and living on your own! That's major...I hope you realize that! I don't quite understand where your therapists have been coming from though...strange. Glad you realize you don't need someone else to make you happy or to support you financially. You're right about wanting to be in a better place emotionally before getting into another relationship. Well I'm drained or else I'd write more...just wanted to welcome you!
27 female
Bipolar, panic disorder, PTSD, PCOS, hashimoto's disease/hypothyroidism, acid reflux, and in the process of being diagnosed with either crohns, colitis, or even lupus...who knows really! the docs sure don't lol. Too many meds to list!

Veteran Member

Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 3715
   Posted 7/17/2008 7:51 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi lunadaisy,

Welcome to HealingWell and our forum. I hope you find the support and community you're looking for here. Your therapists sound like real duds! What a life story. I'm glad it sounds like things are slowly turning around for you. I hope we can be a part of that.

Co-Moderator, Bipolar Forum
Bipolar II

Regular Member

Date Joined May 2008
Total Posts : 163
   Posted 7/18/2008 1:06 AM (GMT -6)   
Welcome! You will find lots of support here; you have come to the right place. What a life you have had to endure. I'm proud of you for making it through. I agree with Serafena about your therapists; perhaps you should try another one. Sometimes it takes a while to find one that clicks just right with you. Congrats on the job and living on your own. You don't need someone else to validate you or to make you who you are. You are a special individual without the validation of someone else. Way to go!!

Lots of hugs to you,

Always here.
"I'm not crazy; I'm just a little unwell."  Matchbox Twenty

Regular Member

Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 285
   Posted 7/18/2008 11:21 AM (GMT -6)   
Hello Luna

Glad to have you on board! You'll like it here. I am the token male.

I want "I wish I had one more day to spend at the office" on my tombstone.

I used to be crazy, but now I have enough money to be called eccentric.

Regular Member

Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 80
   Posted 7/18/2008 1:04 PM (GMT -6)   
Cap, your post made me LOL. "I am the token male". That is too funny.

Welcome aboard Luna!


New Member

Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 6
   Posted 7/19/2008 3:31 AM (GMT -6)   
Hey lunadaisy,
Don't say the word "bore" I would love to hear your life story! If you wouldn't mind sharing your history I would love to hear where you came from?
xx Skye

olivia of course
Veteran Member

Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 1523
   Posted 7/19/2008 4:03 PM (GMT -6)   
Hello and wlcome to the HW forum, I hope you find the support that you need here.
Bipolar Co-Moderator

Only by seeking challenges can we hope to find the best in ourselves. ~Robert Rodriguez

Don't let your yesterday ruin your today.

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