Update on Bipolar Spouse

New Topic Post Reply Printable Version
[ << Previous Thread | Next Thread >> ]

Diskus
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 110
   Posted 7/26/2008 8:39 AM (GMT -7)   
I know it's been a long time since I've posted and that's because my fiance was hospitalized. We ignored the warning signs as his depression became more acute and we decided with our psych that hospitalization would be best to be more agressive with new medications.
 
It has been TRAUMATIZING as anyone on this board could imagine...we are slowly picking up the pieces we've left of ourselves all over dr offices and hospitals and we are making progress toward digging him out of this debilitating depression.
 
I am standing by him as he is the love of my life and we have a wonderfully supportive family and network of friends, but we need time to heal.
 
Meds- they added lamictal to his lithium and i'm happy to report, no rash! The psych said he was out of the woods for the rash as it usually appears immediately. In the hospital they were able to increase his lamictal a bit more rapidly than one would be able to handle on an outpatient basis. They added some lexapro to activate "happiness" so to speak...he's doing well and I'm happy to have my baby back. It was a lonely 6 days.
 
I want to note that my fiance was never physically violent during manic episodes. I would not have stayed if that were the case. This illness is a cruel mistress and it is hard enough when your loved one is being treated, but to add physical violence into the mix - a woman or man (spouse) should never have to endure this. I read the post about the woman whose untreated/treated husband is violent. That breaks my heart. I know first-hand that spouses tend to suffer more (albeit in a different manner). Physical abuse should never be tolerated.
 
So, there you have it. For the record, we began treatment 7 months ago...after being on meds that sunk him into a hole (depakote and celexa), we found a doc who put him on lithium and it has worked miraculously. Please do not give up hope if you are frustrated by your med-combos. It is an art, not a science to get these meds right and to work correctly with your brain's chemicals.
 
Do not give up hope.
 
Learn as MUCH as you possibly can about the illness. If your spouse is hospitalized, have them sign the hippa forms to allow nurses and doctors to talk to YOU about your spouse's treatment. I was a bug in the ear of anyone who would listen. I let them know that this person is loved and I am going to be on them like white on rice to make sure he's getting proper care. He was not admitted to a club-med like hospital...it was a county hospital and luckily they had several beds open the evening we arrived.
 
It killed me to leave him there, but i knew we weren't doing it out of an act of desperation, but to set him straight, so to speak...and, if we have to tweak the meds again, we will.
 
Therapy has also been a godsend for us. Boundaries are essential in any relationship, but particularly one where a partner is bipolar. If there are no boundaries, you will not be protecting what you've worked so hard to create, your foundation, your love, your life.
 
ok, i'll get off my soapbox now...I love this forum and I hope people continue to share and offer supportive thoughts. It really helped me get through some tough times. You're not alone.

CapninHapnin
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 285
   Posted 7/26/2008 9:13 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Diskus

Your fiance is headed for a joyful life, because he is fixin to marry a beautiful woman.

I have said it before, I have the disease but my wife suffers from it.

Keep in touch.
I want "I wish I had one more day to spend at the office" on my tombstone.

I used to be crazy, but now I have enough money to be called eccentric.


Diskus
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 110
   Posted 7/26/2008 9:16 AM (GMT -7)   
Thanks Canpin -

Do you and your spouse utilize support groups? just curious as I am thinking about attending one of the nami groups in my area.

CapninHapnin
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 285
   Posted 7/26/2008 9:33 AM (GMT -7)   
No, because when I was first diagnosed, the town we lived in didn't have any health services at all. Closest hospital with a psych unit was 65 miles away. I wanted to keep it quiet as I thought the condition was embarrassing. After a very destructive mania, the secret was out and the whole town knew.

Turned out that was okay even though it cost me my job. I found out there was another man in town that had been keeping his BP secret as well. I knew who he was but did not associate with him before that incident. We formed a friendship and he and his wife and me and mine formed our own little support group. Our preacher joined in but he had no training so really was not much help.

I had a small ranch that got to be to much for me to handle so we sold out and moved to the big city, population 45,000. Huge town for us. We have been trying to find a support group but have not found one we like. We have a therapist that sometimes my wife and I attend together and separately which is very helpful.

But we are still searching for a group. I hope you find one one like.
I want "I wish I had one more day to spend at the office" on my tombstone.

I used to be crazy, but now I have enough money to be called eccentric.


serafena
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 3715
   Posted 7/26/2008 10:28 AM (GMT -7)   
Diskus,

What wonderful news and thank you so much for the positive, strong message you shared. That's just what I feel. It's possible to do well with this disorder, if you're willing to make the hard decisions and do what it takes to get better. It sure helps to have a partner like you backing you up, too. I've got my fantastic husband and I know it drives him absolutely crazy, but he's 100% there for me, and it helps me live -- literally. Thank you.

serafena
Serafena
Co-Moderator, Bipolar Forum
Bipolar II


Diskus
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 110
   Posted 7/26/2008 4:16 PM (GMT -7)   
It's hard at times, as you all know. I am 100% supportive, but I can't say that would be the case if my spouse were in denial, refused treatment, or we didn't have the support of family and friends. Support is paramount.

One day at a time is all any of us can handle.
New Topic Post Reply Printable Version
Forum Information
Currently it is Sunday, December 04, 2016 1:38 PM (GMT -7)
There are a total of 2,732,663 posts in 301,041 threads.
View Active Threads


Who's Online
This forum has 151200 registered members. Please welcome our newest member, MartiG.
350 Guest(s), 11 Registered Member(s) are currently online.  Details
Michael_T, Teamchris, Hachiko, yancync, Mad Martha, lymedriven, ks1905, Randy Eichner, An38, Broncofan18, Peter A


Follow HealingWell.com on Facebook  Follow HealingWell.com on Twitter  Follow HealingWell.com on Pinterest
Advertisement
Advertisement

©1996-2016 HealingWell.com LLC  All rights reserved.

Advertise | Privacy Policy & Disclaimer