Once again today, I am depressed and weeping. I took another Ativan and it helped me to relax and sleep for two hours this morning. Then I took another two hour nap this afternoon. It helps for a while but then I still feel depressed. I feel like I am missing out on my baby daughter who just turned 1 on Aug. first. His parents were here from WV and my parents were here too. I hardly had any time with her then. Now I am depressed and sleeping most of the day and hardly see her now. I feel guilty. And that depresses me more. I know this will pass; it always does being the combination of pregnancy hormones and low dosages of meds. Hopefully tomorrow I will be back to normal but then I think what really is normal when you are bipolar. I am so ready to have this second baby so that I can get back on my full strength of medications but then battle postpartum depression like I did before but only for a little while. And at least all of the pregnancy complications will be gone and I won't be worried about those too. I forgot to tell you that I have developed Orthostatic Hypotension from bedrest. It is where the heart pumps blood to my feet but has trouble pumping it back up to my heart and brain so when I am up and moving around I faint. I try to do leg movements when I am awake and I try to stand still when I am up. I try to not jump up from a sitting position and just take off but to take my time. But still all of this doesn't help, I'll still be walking down the hallway and bam! I hit the floor. Well, just something more to worry about. I just want to scream.
OK, I have whined enough. Thanks for listening.
Anyone else have lots of complications while pregnant?
"I'm not crazy; I'm just a little unwell." Matchbox Twenty