Still feeling down.

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twisted71
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2008
Total Posts : 136
   Posted 8/8/2008 3:07 AM (GMT -7)   
I was okay for about a month and then all of a sudden I just started feeling down.  I know it is probably because of all the stress that I have had lately but I can't seem to get out of it.  for two weeks now I am just sitting on the couch doing nothing.  I am not even interested in reading which I love to do and the book I am currently reading is a good book.  I am not interested in doing any of the things that I like to do.  I have been on the support boards quite a bit the past week lurking.  I am trying to respond and I am trying to post some things and I am trying to do things around the house to get me out of this but nothing is working.   I was in a mixed state yesterday and then last night I was very agitated and irritated and then depressed again.  I have an appointment with my pdoc on the 21st but I think I am going to have to call her and let her know what is happening.  I also have an appointment tomorrow with my tdoc.  I am on the verge of crying over little things.  I really hate this.  A lot times too I want to take a nap and I can't seem to sleep during the day or I sleep for 3 hours when I take a nap.  I am so tired at night that I get uncomfortable and even sitting I can't get comfortable but I can't sleep until my dd (21 months) goes to sleep and the rest of my kids.  and at night I sleep for 9 hours.  I would like to sleep more but I can't cuz dd wakes up.  I am afraid I am going into a deeper depression than I am already in.  It has been a long time since I have been like this.  I just don't know what to do.  I guess now I am rambling.  Thanks for listening.
AJL
 
I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it!


sukay
Veteran Member


Date Joined Feb 2003
Total Posts : 1432
   Posted 8/8/2008 5:27 AM (GMT -7)   
Hello Twisted,
 
So sorry to hear how you are feeling. I know that feeling well. I was there a few times. I'm glad you will be seeing your tdoc tomorrow but I bet you your tdoc would also suggest that you call you pdoc to see him/her sooner than the 21st. If your not on a antidepressant, your pdoc may consider adding one to your cocktail.
 
In the meantime why don't you at least try to set the tiniest goals for yourself and try to at least complete 1 a day. It takes a lot of work, but you really need to push yourself and that is why I say even if you just start with 1 goal a day. It doesn't have to be big either. Try like: "I will read my book for 15 minutes today."
 
Try to plan ahead for your weekend with little things you hope to do that will make you feel good. Write down something that you would like to do Saturday morning and evening and the same for Sunday and try to stick with it. Even if it is to invite a friend over for a hour or two to accompany you to take the kids to the park with you or just to sit and chat or go for a walk outside somewhere nice or to watch a movie together. When I am depressed I try to push myself out of the house and go to the mall or stores and just window shop. It's nice to just browse with no pressure or agenda that I have to buy something.
 
Try not to isolate yourself and don't be afraid of asking for some help from others to help you out.
 
Try to put some type of structure to your day and stick with it. It is a very difficult time to be in but most importantly you have to remember that medications will help but you need to do most of the leg work and really, really have to push yourself. Remember 1 accomplishment a day is GREAT even if that is all you can muster up for a day.
 

twisted71
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2008
Total Posts : 136
   Posted 8/8/2008 6:33 AM (GMT -7)   
Thanks Sukay.
I was actually thinking that I need to set goals for myself last night. I told myself that I would at least put the clothes away in my bedroom and I got some of them done today. I tried to take a nap too but I couldn't sleep. But I didn't want to get out of the bed either. I guess I just need to take things one day at a time.
AJL
 
I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it!


ddd
Regular Member


Date Joined Aug 2008
Total Posts : 26
   Posted 8/8/2008 7:14 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi, I am Dani, i just wanted to let you know I will be thinking and praying for you, its so sad to see sooooo many of us in constant pain just from life. I am sorry you are feeling so down. Im not a therapist just a bipolar sufferer and you know what, just getting through a day is a task for so many of us. you will be on my mind, I understand where you are and it isn't a good place, but you can do it, just small tiny steps and try to control the thinking it will get you all worked up so just baby steps through the day and try to tell yourself something nice about yourself. Im not sure if you read the bible or not but my mom sent me a verse yesterday it was 1 peter 5:10 And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast. I found this to help as I had a terrible day yesterday where I wanted to hurt myself and took off driving for no reason and was about to go to the hospital to check in. My mom sent me that and I know not everyone believes but It helped me and I just wanted to try to help somebody today. I hope you feel better and feel free to write about anything, I will listen.

twisted71
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2008
Total Posts : 136
   Posted 8/8/2008 7:25 AM (GMT -7)   
Thank you Dani. I am sorry that you are having such a hard time too. I do believe in God but I am a muslim. Although I am afraid that my faith has been suffering lately because of the depression. But I appreciate the thought of the bible verse. Thank you.
AJL
 
I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it!


ddd
Regular Member


Date Joined Aug 2008
Total Posts : 26
   Posted 8/8/2008 7:33 AM (GMT -7)   
I agree, you know as bipolar sufferers I don't know how you feel but its a constant battle to have faith when life is soooo out of control most of the time and it feels so lonely when you are depressed. I didn't mean to offend anyone with the verse, I just found it to be relaxing that im not really in control of the situation, lol. I like to think I am occassionally but you know, what your faith will help you and in turn, you will help others.

twisted71
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2008
Total Posts : 136
   Posted 8/8/2008 7:42 AM (GMT -7)   
I wasn't offended at all. I hope I didn't sound like I was. I just wanted to let you know that I am muslim. and I don't mind if we talk about faith. We are supposed to pray five times a day and even though I do that I find that it is hard to do sometimes. And what makes it worse is that dh doesn't seem to think that my faith should be affected by BP. Or at least that it shouldn't be 'weak'. So it's nice to be able to talk to someone who understands.
AJL
 
I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it!


ddd
Regular Member


Date Joined Aug 2008
Total Posts : 26
   Posted 8/8/2008 8:04 AM (GMT -7)   
you kow what I think, I think that bipolar is often times totally a faith issue. Do you believe in the enemy or evil, I am not real familiar with the muslim faith but I think that often times extremely spiritual people that have deep connections with their inner self struggle harder than people that are not self aware and I think that is because tripping someone up with negativity and loss of reality and depression and manias are an easy way to oppress a person and make them useless as an influence. I know that this disorder gets me so bound up on the inside that it keeps me from peace, faith, love, and all the other fruits of the spirit as well as keeps me from affecting anyone in any other manner than a negative one. I totally disagree with what you have been told and clearly it bothers you that your faith suffers and only you can know what issues are lying in the depths of your sufferings and you know that you struggle with it which means that it doesn't matter in the least what someone else tells you about your faith, you know that it is tugging at you and nobody else can understand gods interaction with us on an individual basis. I like you, we should talk more, I feel oppressed big time and like this whole thing is a way that evil can keep me from doing what I am supposed to be accomplishing as a human being. I am an ineffective, terrible mother, a constant headache for everyone around me, and I am so scared of my own shadow that I can't work nor function on a normal level at this time. Me being like this is wrong and there's battles for good and evil in every faith and I pray alot to be freed from this. But it appears it will be a life long battle and so its dealing with it that becomes that goal. just baby steps I guess. I am no good person and most of the time I live like a total faithless person but for some reason I think that this is a spiritual battle as much as a chemical imbalance. What does the quaran??? say about mind struggles or oppression or things of this nature?

serafena
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 3715
   Posted 8/8/2008 8:33 AM (GMT -7)   
DDD --

Thank you for joining HealingWell and welcome to our board. I'm sure you have some wonderful insights to share, but let me bring rule #10 to your attention:

No posts of an overtly political or religious nature OR posts promoting advocacy of particular personal, medical, legal, religious, political, or non-profit causes. The forums are intended for offering mutual personal support. Debating controversial subjects should be taken elsewhere. Limited religious references are allowed (ie. "my prayers are with you" or a brief quote as part of a larger post), but the forums should
not be used to convert others.

I'm sorry, but you're going to have to limit your religious tone. This is a secular board.

Thanks so much,
serafena
Serafena
Co-Moderator, Bipolar Forum
Bipolar II


ddd
Regular Member


Date Joined Aug 2008
Total Posts : 26
   Posted 8/8/2008 10:24 AM (GMT -7)   
I was clearly in no way shape or form trying to convert someone if you even stopped to read it, Im not trying to change anyone I was telling her that I thought that it was silly that a dr said that bipolar wouldn't affect her faith. I mean really I was telling her that faith in whatever it is you choose to believe is a big part in having hope, I think you should have read the post a little better and you are totally out of line for throwing accusations. whatever dude. nobody was debating I was interested in what she thought and never judge what enyone believes I am the last person out there trying to do anything except research the disease and how other people experience it. thanks a lot

serafena
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 3715
   Posted 8/8/2008 11:55 AM (GMT -7)   
I realize you weren't trying to convert her. I meant no harm or insult, I just wanted to bring the rule to your attention.

Thank you,
serafena
Serafena
Co-Moderator, Bipolar Forum
Bipolar II


twisted71
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2008
Total Posts : 136
   Posted 8/8/2008 12:01 PM (GMT -7)   
Serafena, I feel that I should apologize because I was also a part of that conversation about religion.  I certainly didn't want any arguments or bad feelings about anything.  so I apologize.

AJL
 
I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it!


serafena
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 3715
   Posted 8/8/2008 12:23 PM (GMT -7)   
No need for apologies, but thank you for thinking of it.

serafena
Serafena
Co-Moderator, Bipolar Forum
Bipolar II


missflip
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2008
Total Posts : 163
   Posted 8/8/2008 1:13 PM (GMT -7)   
twisted, I hope that you are feeling better. I am in a dark place right now too. I am thinking of you and hoping that you are better now.

Hugs,
Missflip
"I'm not crazy; I'm just a little unwell."  Matchbox Twenty


twisted71
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2008
Total Posts : 136
   Posted 8/8/2008 1:19 PM (GMT -7)   
Thanks missflip. Not quite sure how I am doing right now. I hope you are better soon too.
AJL
 
I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it!

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