Husband Newly disagnosed as Bi-polar - I'm making my life changes but now worried about our son

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JH
New Member


Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 17
   Posted 8/9/2008 7:15 PM (GMT -7)   
I'm made a choice to leave not becuase of the disease but because of the aggression, arguments, etc.  even when he is medicated.  But now, I am extremely WORRIED about our incredible 5 yr old son!  How genetic has it been proven to be?  I'm not sleeping - as soon as I came through this storm and relaxed, it's like I shot up in one bed one night and thought "Oh my god!  What about Noah!!!!!!

closure
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 471
   Posted 8/9/2008 7:40 PM (GMT -7)   
sorry to hear about what you've been through. honestly there is a chance your son could have bipolar, but don't treat him differently or panic about it now. you know what to watch for so watch for those things and if he does have it you can be prepared. keep in mind not everyone who's bipolar acts like your husband so if your son were to have it he probably wouldn't be I guess a "clone" of your hubby. just take it day by day and while I wouldn't forget your worries just put them in the back of your mind and enjoy your son. *hugs*
27 female
 
Bipolar, panic disorder, PTSD, PCOS, hashimoto's disease/hypothyroidism, acid reflux, and in the process of being diagnosed with either crohns, colitis, or even lupus...who knows really! the docs sure don't lol. Now possibly even celiacs disease!Lots of tests coming up so hopefully I'll know more soon. Too many meds to list!


mom2four
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 45
   Posted 8/9/2008 9:21 PM (GMT -7)   
My pediatrician said that it is most likely to skip a generation. I am no expert, but the severity of the symptoms later seems to relate to a degree on the envirinment. At least, as they have said- the abusive side is not necessarily related to the bp. The bp may allow the agression that is already ther to act out more easily. This is my personal theory- I think children with bipolar tendencies who grow up in the home of an untreated bipolar parent who is agressive an erratic are more prone to frustration and severe acting out- one who has been treated kindly and had his symptoms recognized, treated, and explained early on will not have such a hard time. Even "normal" children will develop severe problems when they are brought up in the wrong environment. There seem to be many bp sufferers who have the depression/mania; but they do not act violently. This is only my theory. I developed an eating disorder as a teen from living with my dad, and I believe that a lot of my husband's terrible behavior comes fromhis parents behavior (one was an alcoholic, perhaps self-mdicating bp? who was abusive, and the other was an abusive possible bp as well. All four of their children are above mensa iq geniuses, but have other issues). It is really hard to say if the environment or the chemical make-up is to blame, most likely, of course, both.

serafena
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 3715
   Posted 8/10/2008 5:20 PM (GMT -7)   
All the more reason to get him away from your unpredictable, unhealthy husband right now. he doesn't need to learn that behavior. It is possible to be a relatively well-adjusted, responsible bipolar, but you have to teach him that behavior.

In any case, the genetic factor is there, but you can't worry about that now. Wait and see. Most people don't present until in their teens or twenties.

serafena
Serafena
Co-Moderator, Bipolar Forum
Bipolar II


loving frustrated wife
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jun 2007
Total Posts : 865
   Posted 8/10/2008 6:14 PM (GMT -7)   
My H and therefore our S has BP. Genetic...yep. Skip a generation....nope! But, that does not mean your son will have it. Only time will tell. But seeing a person irresponsible with it will definitely teach the wrong lessons to your child if he does have it. The best thing YOU can do is totally hold your H responsible for his behavior and conduct at all times, BP or not. Otherwise, what is the message to your child, and why should he be responsible should he have it, if his dad didn't have to be. More food for fodder. My S is definitely going to grow into a man who will be far more responsible and open about it than my H, so he should be okay (I pray). LFW

closure
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 471
   Posted 8/10/2008 7:46 PM (GMT -7)   
just checking in to see how you're doing...everyone has given great advice. *hugs*
27 female
 
Bipolar, panic disorder, PTSD, PCOS, hashimoto's disease/hypothyroidism, acid reflux, and in the process of being diagnosed with either crohns, colitis, or even lupus...who knows really! the docs sure don't lol. Now possibly even celiacs disease!Lots of tests coming up so hopefully I'll know more soon. Too many meds to list!


mom2four
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 45
   Posted 8/10/2008 9:34 PM (GMT -7)   
You cannot change his genetics. You have to do the best you can no matter what! At least you will be aware if he does show signs later. As I said, my pediatrician said it usually skips- but it didn't appear to in my husband's family (there seem to be many in each generation with varying degrees), so I assume that it depends on a lot of genetic and environmental variables. Even if he didn't, he could  develop other personality disorders from living with your husband the way he behaves  now. That is how I have to look at it. As you said, not because your H has bp, but the way your husband behaves and treats his bp. 
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