going off of meds

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ddd
Regular Member


Date Joined Aug 2008
Total Posts : 26
   Posted 8/11/2008 10:19 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi I wanted to know what anyone thought about this scenario. I was diagnosed Bipolar not sure if 1 or II cuz Ive seen so many diff docs, but I have massive anxiety issues, extremely rapid cycling at times and mostly stay on the depressive end of the spectrum. I have been moving a lot and it seems like everything triggers me at this point. I have never been a big fan of meds cuz they usually send me flippin out the end with my schizoaffective tendancies, massive paranoia, panic, seeing, visualizing things, etc.... I have been on topamax and lamictal with no real noticable effects. I went to a dr last week who put me on cymbalta 30 mg. The 1st day I took it I got really nauseated and drowsy but spastic at the same time, I did not sleep until I took 3 kolonopin finally cuz I couldnt take the insanity it made my mind race and I had the most bizarre and disturbing thoughts on top of massive paranoia. I went ahead and took it the second morning and flipped out again. I took off driving after I had locked myself in a room freaked out there was stuff in the house with me, then I started thinking about killing myself for no reason cuz I didn't feel depressed, I felt like I had smoked crack or something, I mean it was up there with some of the craziest thoughts and feelings I have ever had. I had to talke 2 more kolonopins to calm down. Then, I stayed up an entire night and didn't take the meds the next day nor have I since thursday. I feel really really good and did not have to take the anxiety meds at all but I have been staying up till past 4 am and sleeping for only a few hours here and there and I feel in love with everything and I feel like I have hope again, my body feels better and I am excited about life again, after only 2 pills. My question is, if it works to only take like 1 a week to jump start me is that a problem? It is by far the fastest mood change I have EVER experienced I mean last week I was suicidally depressed and anxious then had the 2 frek out days on the meds but every since I took those, I feel sooooo much better and back in control. How do you explain this to a DR and what should I do I can tell my body like does not want SSRI's all the time, it trips me out, and I know myself well enough to know that I don't stay in Mania very long and xanax can chill the edge when I do?????? I won't stay on a mood stabilizer, I know myself too well. What should I do?? and does anyone else have times where they are convinced they aren't bipolar and that it doesn't exist? I bounce from feeling like its all made up to just total times when I feel like meds are evil and like I need to go to the psych ward cuz Im going to do something totally bizarre?

Diskus
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 110
   Posted 8/11/2008 10:39 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi DDD....my fiance actually just came back from the psych ward after needing an aggressive adjustment to his meds. He's bipolar-schizoaffective and I know that his risperdal (essential)/lithium/lamictal combo has taken about 7 months to get right (after years of going on and off). Your massive paranoia can be controlled with meds and it is not something you have to remain prisoner to. my fiance was convinced he didn't need the meds for years b/c after being on them for months at a time, he felt fine. A severe manic and paranoid episode (the first i've experienced w/ him) changed all of that. Please seek out a drs help. If you have family who is supportive, call...or find your local crisis center...xanax and klonopin are only quick fixes to chill you out until the demons go away..

YOu're in good company here.

serafena
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 3715
   Posted 8/11/2008 4:45 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi ddd,

If your mood swings from suicidally depressed to manic-afraid you're going to do something totally bizarre in the space of a week, you have bipolar. That is the very definition of bipolar. I understand that it FEELS like you don't, but you have to be able to tell yourself the truth when your brain starts to question logic.

I also know a low-grade mania can feel like control versus suicidal thoughts or paranoia, but it's still not stable. You're still not in control. If you're still taking 2-3 klonopin and getting only a few hours of sleep, you're not in control. You need to call the doctor. Clearly the cymbalta didn't work for you. Tell your doctor EVERYTHING you've told us, including that you've had to self-medicate with the klonopin and your reactions, and let him or her try to work out something new for you.

I really do understand not liking drugs. They can really be soul-sucking, especially when you have such violent side effects, but hang in there and I really do believe you'll find something that works. There are so many options.

serafena
Serafena
Co-Moderator, Bipolar Forum
Bipolar II


ddd
Regular Member


Date Joined Aug 2008
Total Posts : 26
   Posted 8/12/2008 5:34 AM (GMT -7)   
thanks for your reply,I am sorry about our initial first run in, I get extremely over the top interested in religion when I start getting manicky. My other question for you is, like I am really into music and meds dull my ability to be reative and I dj so it throws my hearing off and I just don't know what to do. I am constantly moving around the country and I can't get in to a psych that perscribes for a while and I have to go back to the Fam Doc that gave me the cymbalta. I am just at a loss and I know this is all so taxing on family I mean I try to not even go there with my parents cuz I know they feel so helpless and then they take it personally and it's no one's fault I can't control myself or my brain. I feel like especially fam docs that don't have time to spend actually listening to the whole bipolar deal feel like I just make this stuff up and they look at me crazy...

missflip
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2008
Total Posts : 163
   Posted 8/12/2008 6:03 PM (GMT -7)   
Hey ddd. You really, really need to see a Psychiatrist. They specialize in this, fam docs don't. Plus I agree with serafena; you definitely need to tell your doc everything! Not all meds are for everybody. Sometimes it takes time to get the right combination of meds going with the right dosage. One has to be patient when it comes to meds. There is no safe quick fix for what we have. Self medicating is a dangerous thing that can lead to accidental overdose not to mention the stain it puts on your body and relationships too. Please see a Psychiatrist and a therapist would be good too; someone for you to talk to regularly since you can't depend on your family.

Keep us updated. You are in a good place here. Hang in there.

Missflip
"I'm not crazy; I'm just a little unwell."  Matchbox Twenty


CRANKY 1
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2005
Total Posts : 616
   Posted 8/15/2008 12:05 AM (GMT -7)   

Hey DDD,

I'm totally onboard with Missflip.  Your posts are all over the place, and I know manic when I see it.  You need to get to a psychiatrist or psychopharmachologist ASAP!!!  You need something like LITHIUM, which covers both ends of the spectrum.  SSRIs only treat the depressive end, and you need something treat the mania as well.  Once you start taking the appropriate medication, things should mellow out in the middle somewhere.  At this point, whatever you do, DO NOT STOP TAKING YOUR MEDS.  Don't stop regardless of how well you feel, cuz it won't last and you may go bouncing back and forth worse than ever.  I have both a cousin and a friend that are bi-polar, and I have personally seen how bad things can get when they think it's OK to stop their meds.  It isn't pretty.  Please get some medical attention as soon as possible.  You could be a danger to yourself or others if you start having hallucinations in a manic episode.  Keep us up to date on how you are doing.  We really do care.

Leigh Ann smhair


Basic info:
  • On Disability for: Chronic Migraines, serious Back and Knee problems (will need surgery eventually), moderate Depression, Anxiety/Panic disorder, TMJ, stomach problems 
  • Divorced, 43, spawn-free 
  • Surgeries: Gastric Bypass, Gallbladder Removed (followed by a week in the hospital for a Blood Clot), Impacted Kidney Stone Removed, Broken Ankle, Major Dental work(ten molars pulled, multiple cavities, root canals) 
  • Current Meds: Prozac, Klonopin, Atenelol, Stadol Nasal Spray, Lortab/Percocet, Trazadone, Buspar, Protonix, Tramadol, Visteryl, Carafate Suspension, Co-Q10, B2(Riboflavin), Remifemin(Black Cohosh)
  • PROHIBITED FROM ALL NSAIDS
  • Current Problem: Mysterious Internal GI Bleeding, possible ulcer in location of Gastric Bypass
 
"The weather is here, I wish you were beautiful."
                                             - Jimmy Buffett
 
 


mogli
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2006
Total Posts : 1191
   Posted 8/17/2008 1:48 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi DDD,
 
I've done so much reading about all the meds.  They are really complex to say the least.  We all have our own unique bp symptoms and we all react differently to the meds.  I am highly sensitive it seems to the meds.  Lamictal seems to be the only one I can tolerate.  Seroquel and other anti-physcotics made me feel like such a zombie that I couldn't even function.  After suffering from trying all of the meds I went off meds completely for a year.  Then I crashed so hard, the episodes of depression got much worse and more frequent.  My pdoc suggested this would keep happening if we didn't try something to get it under control. 
 
I too, have such panic and anxiety.  And lately with some stress at work, it's been at it's peak.  The same can be said for my latest episode of depression. 
 
If you are questioning your diagnosis of bp, maybe it's time to be re-evaluated?  How long have you been on the med(s) that you're on now?  I realize the Cymbalta is new...Why did your doc decide to try that?  Any time any med is giving you side effects, you need to tell your doc.  It's important.  Something that is also important is to point out that when I did go off my meds it was with the support of my pdoc and safe, safe weaning off the meds.  I basically believe that being bp means finding the balance.  I hope you can talk openly with your doc and see where to go from here. 
 
Please keep us updated and take good care of yourself.
Mogs
 
Bipolar II, Anxiety/Panic Disorder
Clonazepam .5mg as needed, Trazodone 50mg/day & Lamictal 250 mg/day

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