Sorry for not coming back to you earlier, I was travelling.
I understand you have gone through a lot of yourself. I admire you for your strengh and will-power. Also the therapy is a very good thing and if you are both participating and believe in it, everything is possible for you!!
If manipulation wasn't there in my story I would want to make it work too with all my heart and put a lot of time and energy into it.
I thought so hard the last month and came to the conclusion that I cannot handle manipulation and lies.
It is so far from my values and at this point I have no idea if its due to the illness or his personality?! I will stand by him as a friend (which he totally rejects) and support his healing process. At least he is going back to therapy now (if this is true). I believe it will be a very long process to cure a person who is so much used to lying all his life. He has no friends, so I am not sure how he will collect power to heal.
The other thing you mentioned is having child with someone who is bipolar. Again, if love is there you cannot fight it I believe and the child may not inherit it.
I hope 'your' therapy is going well. Thank you for your kind words, Diskus. Your note cheered me up. It really does mean a lot to me.
Hmmmm, this gives me further thoughts as to how to talk to him when I am 100% that he lies and manipulations. He never really admits them.
When I tell him very gently and kindly that he is not telling the truth, he disappears without a trace for a few days. This drove me crazy as I never knew if I would ever hear from him again. After a long time I figured out that during his 'absence' he fools women who then suffer a great deal.
I hope his therapy will help him understand the effect of his behaviour on his environment. Probably he will then at least try to manipulate all his ladies less and less.
Thank you for your concern, I am feeling better. I tried to distant myself from him emotionally but being a very loyal person I dont want to give up our friendship. But he totally rejects my friendship as he says to him that means I abandon him. I have this strange feeling that he doesnt know what friendship acutally is.
I think myself and his other ladies function as a safety-net so he always has someone to reach out to, but I dont think he is capable of real love as for now. Gosh, its difficult to explain it. Anyway, that is my gut-feeling. But he is so very intelligent. He simply has to be able to work on his issues. I wish I could send him a little angel who would help him doing it.
There is one thing that I can't get over though. When he is upset, cause I said something that does not match his expectation, he attacks back and says 'surely you dont care about me at all'. You know...if there would be a tool to make him understand how much I care. I feel I will never be able to make him understand as he kind of decides not to believe or trust in anybody.
Unexpected long answer, I am sorry. It seems it had to come out
I hope you also feel well, Missflip.
I was gone for a while, partly due to issues in my life, partly I had to distant myself from everything that had to do with my bipolar who I love.
It was distructing me so much, so I couldnt even read the forum, I got sick in my stomach. Not from the forum of course, but from dealing with the issue.
I have many many new proofs of his lies and I cried so much so I have no more tears left and I think this way I put a big part of my feelings aside and just see him as a friend. I tried to interact with him as a friend, it totally fails. I think we will lose contact as he figures that he can not fool me anymore and I am too independent person so he does not have a grip on me. I am very deeply sad inside, as the attraction is amazing I have for him.
I need to live my life and the almost 2 years misery didnt bring me a lot of positive things, so I try to do without him.
How are you Justbelieve08???