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Joxster1970
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2008
Total Posts : 82
   Posted 8/13/2008 8:13 AM (GMT -7)   
She's been sleeping with another man..
Last night she told me she was going to go stay with him
She also is bi-polar..
I don't know what to do...
According to her, this will be the 3 time
I am still numb
I am speechless
Hurt sad

closure
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 471
   Posted 8/13/2008 8:15 AM (GMT -7)   
there's nothing I can say to make it better...just wanted to let you know we're all here for you and I wanted to offer some hugs *hugs* so so sorry you're going through this.
27 female
 
Bipolar, panic disorder, PTSD, PCOS, hashimoto's disease/hypothyroidism, acid reflux, and in the process of being diagnosed with either crohns, colitis, or even lupus...who knows really! the docs sure don't lol. Now possibly even celiacs disease!Lots of tests coming up so hopefully I'll know more soon. Too many meds to list!


Ren
New Member


Date Joined Aug 2008
Total Posts : 9
   Posted 8/13/2008 8:27 AM (GMT -7)   
I am so sorry you are going thru this. We are here if you would like to vent more.

serafena
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 3715
   Posted 8/13/2008 9:58 AM (GMT -7)   
Joxster,

I am so sorry. This is terrible. Take care of yourself! We're here if you need us. (((((Joxster)))))


serafena
Serafena
Co-Moderator, Bipolar Forum
Bipolar II


Joxster1970
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2008
Total Posts : 82
   Posted 8/13/2008 11:31 AM (GMT -7)   
confused

She called and wants to work things out....
She said it was just sex..
Should I or shouldn't I ?
She saysshe loves me
But, part of me says, don't believe a word she says

closure
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 471
   Posted 8/13/2008 1:16 PM (GMT -7)   
unfortunately this is not a decision for us to make. it's a tough one so be sure to take your time and be sure you're completely ok with your situation. keep us updated.
27 female
 
Bipolar, panic disorder, PTSD, PCOS, hashimoto's disease/hypothyroidism, acid reflux, and in the process of being diagnosed with either crohns, colitis, or even lupus...who knows really! the docs sure don't lol. Now possibly even celiacs disease!Lots of tests coming up so hopefully I'll know more soon. Too many meds to list!


olivia of course
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 1523
   Posted 8/13/2008 2:14 PM (GMT -7)   
Joxster,

I am really sorry for what you are going through, that is really rough. Like other people have said, the final decisions are up to you. As closure said, take your time before leaping into your final decisions. Please let us know how you are doing when you get a chnace.

Olivia
Olivia
Bipolar Co-Moderator


Only by seeking challenges can we hope to find the best in ourselves. ~Robert Rodriguez

Don't let your yesterday ruin your today.


Joxster1970
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2008
Total Posts : 82
   Posted 8/14/2008 7:03 AM (GMT -7)   
confused  
 
We I arived home last night, she was a cold fish and went ans stayed with him
SHe's messing with my mind....
THank god, I am already on  paxil

closure
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 471
   Posted 8/14/2008 7:47 AM (GMT -7)   
I'm sorry Joxster1970. If she went back and stayed with him I would probably give up and let her go. Just my opinion, but it does sound like she's messing with your head. If she agreed to try to work things out with you then went running back to him the first chance she got that's not a good sign. *hugs*
27 female
 
Bipolar, panic disorder, PTSD, PCOS, hashimoto's disease/hypothyroidism, acid reflux, and in the process of being diagnosed with either crohns, colitis, or even lupus...who knows really! the docs sure don't lol. Now possibly even celiacs disease!Lots of tests coming up so hopefully I'll know more soon. Too many meds to list!


missflip
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2008
Total Posts : 163
   Posted 8/14/2008 9:45 AM (GMT -7)   
So sorry Joxster. But I agree with closure and you said yourself that part of you doesn't believe a word she says. It sounds like she doesn't know what she wants either and running back to him then to you then to him proves it. Just take your time sorting this out and I know it hurts. We are here for you always.

Keep us updated.

Missflip
"I'm not crazy; I'm just a little unwell."  Matchbox Twenty


Joxster1970
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2008
Total Posts : 82
   Posted 8/15/2008 9:17 AM (GMT -7)   
confused

She ended it last night.
Stating that i didn't full fill her needs..
I have problems with my meds in the sexual nature...
I am not one to go up to a girl and ask for a date or see if they want a drink..
I think part of her problem is she isn't on her medication and is drinking and doing drugs..
My greatest fear is I'll be alone forever...

serafena
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 3715
   Posted 8/15/2008 9:55 AM (GMT -7)   
You will not be alone forever. But this woman is not caring for you right now, and painful as it is, you need someone who loves you as you are. That person will come along. But you need to concentrate on taking care of yourself right here and now. Is she moved out of the house yet? Are you still seeing her everyday? What do you need to do to keep yourself safe -- to keep from getting hurt over and over again?

serafena
Serafena
Co-Moderator, Bipolar Forum
Bipolar II


closure
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 471
   Posted 8/15/2008 12:28 PM (GMT -7)   
*hugs* I know this is hard, but I believe it's for the best...at least for you. You deserve better. Give yourself some time, get more stable emotionally, and when you're ready and the time is right you will meet someone else who will support you and be there for you. It may take time, but it will happen. It's not healthy to get into this cycle with her of her going back and forth as she pleases...regardless of if she's on her meds or what not. It's time to take care of YOU. Keep us updated.
27 female
 
Bipolar, panic disorder, PTSD, PCOS, hashimoto's disease/hypothyroidism, acid reflux, and in the process of being diagnosed with either crohns, colitis, or even lupus...who knows really! the docs sure don't lol. Now possibly even celiacs disease!Lots of tests coming up so hopefully I'll know more soon. Too many meds to list!


loving frustrated wife
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jun 2007
Total Posts : 865
   Posted 8/15/2008 10:26 PM (GMT -7)   
Joxster1970, From the sound of it you are settling for less in this woman vs. more. I know you think that BP makes it harder to find love, and perhaps in some ways it does, but....let's be honest shall we.....she sounds like the looser, not you. "She is not staying on her meds, she's drinking, messing around while in a relationship with you, doing drugs!!!!" NOT what YOU deserve....set your sights higher. You do not need to go to places where they drink to meet someone. You can meet them in the produce department at the grocery store if you are open to it...it doesn't matter. Just spend your time being the BEST most responsible YOU that YOU can be. Recognize you certainly deserve better than you were allowing yourself, and then stay open to better coming into your life. You may find out that the first "better" comes is in the form of yourself realizing that you are a pretty great guy and start to enjoy your own company. Getting proficient at doing what is best for you, taking care of you through good and bad moments, and learning that you can count on yourself. A WONDERFUL thing to experience about yourself. SO...take your meds, see your docs regularly, learn what you do and don't like about ALL sorts of things....and pick up a new hobby or two. Who knows, that may lead to wonderful new relationships that will give you want you really want and need. And if the drugs interfere with sex...talk to the doctors and see what they can do to help. If they can't, and this is simply what is....then perhaps you will find a woman who isn't hugely into sex, but wants true love and companionship and a deep sincere loving partnership with somone and that can be FAR more fulfilling in the end??? Just some thoughts for you. LFW

tyno3
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2008
Total Posts : 1081
   Posted 8/18/2008 4:52 AM (GMT -7)   
turn  For Joxster1970: Oh dear: I wasted about twelve years of my life on a BiPolar Man who drank, didn't seek professional help, blamed me for everything, cheated, gave me STD's, embarassed me socially, was emotionally abusive, unstable and mean. It left a tremendous hole in my heart and I had a hard time connecting with Healthy partners for a long time. I went to a support group for Co-dependents because I truely was, addicted to this man and his abusive behavior. I had to read all Melody Beattie's books on Co-dependency. I listened to Jimmy Rankin's song about "it doesn't work like that". Basically he was saying, after leaving someone and going out and being wild, well, it doesn't work like that.  You don't get to slither back in and take up where you left off. Two people required to make a relationship, one leaves. no relationship. Now you move on. It's hard. I reccomend you get busy, volunteer to help the more unfortunate. Take guitar lessons, learn to paint, draw, whatever. Replace unhealty time spent with healthy time spent. Weve got your  back. Take care of you. 

Joxster1970
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2008
Total Posts : 82
   Posted 8/18/2008 9:22 AM (GMT -7)   
I moved out. Didn't want to see her in and out of the house....Four county mental health moved me into the crisis trailer.. From there into Shared living rent will be $120/mnth.. NO utilites to pay..
I didn;t want to see her with him..
The last thing she said to me was..
"ralph has a law suit going on for 10 million, if he wins I never will have to have disabilty again."
Poor, Ralph.....TO me sounds like she's using him...
Honestly, I have been depressed for months.. I need something stronger than Paxil...

serafena
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 3715
   Posted 8/18/2008 9:33 AM (GMT -7)   
Then call your doctor, dear. You probably could use some extra help during this time, but you better not SELF-medicate, if you know what I mean. Keep yourself healthy. Good for you for moving out. You're going to be okay, and yes, you're probably right. She probably is using Ralph, but that's not your responsibility anymore. You just take care of yourself and let her chips fall where they may. I'm sorry you're depressed, keep talking to us and we'll do what we can.

hugs,
serafena
Serafena
Co-Moderator, Bipolar Forum
Bipolar II


Joxster1970
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2008
Total Posts : 82
   Posted 8/18/2008 11:42 AM (GMT -7)   
I see my psy/docotr tommorow
Need to tell her to up the paxil and my serquel
SO, I can get some sleep

closure
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 471
   Posted 8/18/2008 3:40 PM (GMT -7)   
glad to hear you moved out. definitlely talk to your doc about your meds tomorrow. hopefully this will be the start of a better life for you. don't look back! *hugs*
27 female
 
Bipolar, panic disorder, PTSD, PCOS, hashimoto's disease/hypothyroidism, acid reflux, and in the process of being diagnosed with either crohns, colitis, or even lupus...who knows really! the docs sure don't lol. Now possibly even celiacs disease!Lots of tests coming up so hopefully I'll know more soon. Too many meds to list!


loving frustrated wife
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jun 2007
Total Posts : 865
   Posted 8/19/2008 9:18 AM (GMT -7)   

Joxter1970, I am so proud of you for taking such clear and positive action for yourself.  YOU are taking care of you.  If you are dealing with depression internally, and depression from outside (aka your break-up), plus your life changes...then keep up the good work on making your health and wellbeing YOUR priority.  No one says choices are easy...but take a look...YOU are making healthy and wise ones for yourself at this time even though it is difficult.  BRAVO to you.  DON"T slide backwards now...you are on a roll. So, no self medicating, see your pdoc, your therapist, keep posting here, talk to friends, work to get outside yourself and reach out to others.  Look at this time where you can be of service others, it will help keep you grounded even though you don't feel like it. 

As to "her"...she is digging her own lot in life, and her choices are her cross to bare now and in her future.  As to Ralph, have pity for him, and don't necessarily believe what your ex is sharing about the situation...she does not sound like a reliable source to believe.  But either way it is no longer your problem.  Thier life, thier problem...

Keep up the good work for you...in the end you will be stronger and better for it.  Again...GREAT steps for yourself!  LFW

 

 


Meezermom
New Member


Date Joined Aug 2008
Total Posts : 10
   Posted 8/19/2008 9:29 AM (GMT -7)   
Joxster, I don't really know you yet, I just found this forum today. However, I will extend my sympathy and a helping hand to someone in pain...Just bear in mind, you are not the problem, she is. She has the issues with herself, not with you. Just because she cannot look in a mirror and face the person looking back at her without looking elsewhere for blame placing does not mean she can blame it all on you. You stood proud and with honor and did what you needed to be a man and a good one. Don't hesitate to ask for help from your doctors and your friends. Never doubt that you have them....you certainly have them here! Just because you see no faces does not mean their compassion and friendship is any less. Be able to find the strength within and you will be okay. After all, there is someone around who is just perfect for you, just look at that person will come...be at peace

Joxster1970
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2008
Total Posts : 82
   Posted 8/19/2008 12:31 PM (GMT -7)   
welp, I had some new changes to my medication.
Invega 6mg for risperdol 3mg. Suppose to be weight nuetral
Seroquel XR for seroquel 1000mg.. I hope to works...
Effexor XR 75mg for paxil 30mg
Propanlol 40 mg.. My blood pressure was 180/90 YIKES !!
Lamictal 100 mg..

Hopefully, these new meds will work..
we will see

olivia of course
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 1523
   Posted 8/19/2008 2:29 PM (GMT -7)   
Joxter,
 
Wow, you have been through a lot in the last week.  Hang in there and I hope your meds help you out soon.
 
Olivia :-)

justbelieve08
New Member


Date Joined Aug 2008
Total Posts : 12
   Posted 8/20/2008 9:26 AM (GMT -7)   
Joxster, I am very sorry and I feel for you. I am in love with a bipolar myself and I am trying to learn as much as I can because I want to be supportive. I was hoping you could maybe share some information with me about what the two of you have been through in your relationship...when was she diagnosed as being bipolar and how it has affected the two of you. I know how much you must still love her and I am sure you want to be supportive. My thoughts are with you.

Joxster1970
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2008
Total Posts : 82
   Posted 8/20/2008 11:40 AM (GMT -7)   
hmmmm........
When she was on her medication she was wonderfull, off of it it was terrible, the Alcohol and Drug use just made it worse.
We both are shizo affective (bipolar)
She was diagnosed 4 yrs ago.
Alot of promises were broke.. Once she started to decline..
Which sent me into a deep depression..
What else do you want to know??
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