Told the truth

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Carenpolar
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2007
Total Posts : 672
   Posted 8/14/2008 7:45 AM (GMT -7)   
well  I told the truth and now I am hurting.... I was dating a nice man and told him about the Bipolar I have.. now he is gone..
 
It is lonely being a widow and I keep reaching out and dating but nothing has worked out. I wonder if I will always be alone because of bipolar............
 
Thanks for listening.. I feel that I did the right  thing,,, by telling him......
 
hugs. Caren

closure
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 471
   Posted 8/14/2008 7:51 AM (GMT -7)   
I'm sorry hon. How long were you dating? I guess that doesn't really matter though. Sometimes it's a lose/lose situation. If you tell right away they may run. If you wait they feel like you were hiding something and run. The *right* guy is out there and no matter when you tell him he'll stick by you. If you want to be with someone you just have to keep trying no matter how many times you fall off the horse so to say. You did do the right thing. All relationships are based on honesty and if he couldn't handle it it's best you found out now. *hugs*
27 female
 
Bipolar, panic disorder, PTSD, PCOS, hashimoto's disease/hypothyroidism, acid reflux, and in the process of being diagnosed with either crohns, colitis, or even lupus...who knows really! the docs sure don't lol. Now possibly even celiacs disease!Lots of tests coming up so hopefully I'll know more soon. Too many meds to list!


Diskus
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 110
   Posted 8/14/2008 8:22 AM (GMT -7)   
I promise you that the right guy is out there for you. Getting back on the horse is key. YOu were honest. If your relationship lacks honest, then what are you left with? BIG hugs. I know how hard it is dating. I dated everyone and anyone, slowly weeding out the guys I didn't want (figuring out what i DID) want....what did I want? My fiance who is Bipolar.

I fell in love before I could see the entire picture, but when I found out he was suffering, I wanted to protect him, help him, love him more. YOu will find someone who can see through your illness and appreciate more who you are when you are well.

missflip
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2008
Total Posts : 163
   Posted 8/14/2008 9:58 AM (GMT -7)   
HI. I am so sorry you are having a rough time. But don't give up. You will find the right man and when you do you will be so happy.  You did the right thing by telling him the truth though.  It is not your fault that he bolted; it is his problem not yours if he can't handle you being bipolar.  Being bipolar has such a negative connection in society and it isn't fair.

The man I was married to at the time I was diagnosed left me for another woman and said that it was because he couldn't handle my "illness" and mood swings. Talk about being crushed!! I was devastated. I had no idea but when I thought about it, he wasn't there for me at all. At the time one of my friends was a guy that understood what I was going through. We had been friends for several years (there was a group of us that ran together and worked together). Anyway, we ended up dating and have been married for almost 6 years now and are expecting our second child. He has stood by me through everything - finding the right medications, the ups and downs, all of it. We have a great relationship and I love him very much. He doesn't care that I am bipolar; he loves me just as I am.

I told you this so that you won't give up. You will find someone who loves you for who you are, bipolar and all. Are you in any kind of groups? Like a church group, library group, support group, anything that interests you so that you aren't so lonely?

Hang in there. We are always here for you. Keep us updated.

Hugs,
Missflip


"I'm not crazy; I'm just a little unwell."  Matchbox Twenty


serafena
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 3715
   Posted 8/14/2008 10:52 AM (GMT -7)   
It takes a very special person to love us through thick and thin and you will know in the end that you were lucky to know so quickly that he couldn't handle it. I'm so sorry he left, but it's better this way than to drag it out and have your heart broken slowly and repeatedly. You absolutely did the right thing. He needed to know and make his choice. I'm sorry he wasn't strong enough to handle it, but there WILL be someone out there who is. You are a fascinating woman who has much more to her than bipolar, and some lucky guy is going to see that eventually. Hang in there. We're here if you need us.

serafena
Serafena
Co-Moderator, Bipolar Forum
Bipolar II


Carenpolar
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2007
Total Posts : 672
   Posted 8/15/2008 1:12 PM (GMT -7)   
MIssflip-- yes I belong to two groups... The Red Hat society, we do events and luncheons several times each month. and I belong to a Bible Study. we meet in a home each week,.........
 
thanks everyone for your kind words... I am glad I posted,,
 
hugs, Caren

closure
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 471
   Posted 8/15/2008 2:06 PM (GMT -7)   
*hugs* glad to see you posting again. we're always here for you!
27 female
 
Bipolar, panic disorder, PTSD, PCOS, hashimoto's disease/hypothyroidism, acid reflux, and in the process of being diagnosed with either crohns, colitis, or even lupus...who knows really! the docs sure don't lol. Now possibly even celiacs disease!Lots of tests coming up so hopefully I'll know more soon. Too many meds to list!


loving frustrated wife
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jun 2007
Total Posts : 865
   Posted 8/15/2008 10:11 PM (GMT -7)   
Carenpolar, I am proud of you for being honest and forthright with this man. It is his loss that he had a person he was enjoying dating, who may have shared an imperfection but in an honest responsible way, which was a sign as to who you were/are, and how you choose to own your "own" stuff (BP or not...WE ALL HAVE IMPERFECTIONS!!!!!!!!!!! It is the devil you know vs. the ones you don't! I would rather know what I am up against...wouldn't you???), . THAT is all a positive, not a negative. His loss that he couldn't see that . I guess that dating is about learning about each other, and a gathering of information of sorts as you go along. I suppose with the information you have just gathered on him, he has shown himself to not be a good catch....1. runs at just learning about information he disliked 2. finds something enjoyable with someone, and before issues arise, bales before experiencing what those issues may be like in this case (cutting off nose to spite face syndrome) 3. Can not tolerate flaws in others 4. no backbone. Okay, Carenpolar - lucky for you, you found out about this mans character now vs. later. What a relief you won't need to live through his letting you down...which clearly he would have. See...you are the winner!

No, you will not be alone...you aren't already. You have your club, friends, family, faith, etc. Having a special someone can come in ALL kinds of scenarios, not just in a man! Reposition your view point and you will see what I mean. Hugs to you, LFW

mogli
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2006
Total Posts : 1191
   Posted 8/17/2008 1:51 PM (GMT -7)   

Carenpolar,

I agree with the others very much.  I think you definitely did the right thing.  I'm sorry it's causing pain now.  I believe if it's the right person, they will have understanding and unconditional love for you.  And you deserve nothing less my dear.

 


Mogs
 
Bipolar II, Anxiety/Panic Disorder
Clonazepam .5mg as needed, Trazodone 50mg/day & Lamictal 250 mg/day


twisted71
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2008
Total Posts : 136
   Posted 8/18/2008 9:08 AM (GMT -7)   
(((Caren)))
I am sorry that he left you.  I am also sure though that you did the right thing.  as the others have said, the right person is out there for you.  You just have to have the patience to find him.  he will come along and you will be so happy that he did.
AJL
 
I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it!


Ren
New Member


Date Joined Aug 2008
Total Posts : 9
   Posted 8/18/2008 11:33 AM (GMT -7)   

I wish my guy would have told me about his bipolar in the beginning. I'd stand by him forever.

He didnt. He lied. He lost me, a person who would have done everything for him.

I am sure there are many who think like me and do not turn away if the hear about your bipolar upfront.

Your honesty will bring you the love. I firmly believe in it.

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