When I was younger I used to get bursts of energy and would get really creative. Also, I used to obsess about cleaning my place even if it were 3 am and of course spend money excessively like there was no tomorrow. I would also party but I knew my limits. Plus my mania didn't last more than a week at that time.
My most recent episodes have not been so pretty, the older I get the uglier it gets. I don't know why but my symptoms are somehow getting worse. I would be happy go lucky for the 1st day or two, then it would get out of control. I was severely irritable (not sleeping for 3-4 days at a time doesn't help this matter) and drank excessively which contributed to my major anger outbursts (I become really abusive). I got in a lot of fights some to the point of physical contact. Of course I was spending mad money even on things that I didn't need, it was all bought out of a whim. Let me not forget racing thoughts, it got to the point that no one including myself understood me, I just got to the point that I didn't make sense anymore. I am ashamed to say this, but I also had promiscuous relationships.
The worst part is that now my manic episodes go on for months, even with the right medications. Once it starts it takes a long time to get my moods straightened out. Especially since it got to the point that I can barely accomplish my daily tasks. People say that they miss being manic, me I fear becoming manic. It is only fun for a few days then it is total chaos and it takes me months to fully recover. It's just not fun like it used to be in my teenage years. It is something that I hope to never experience again. But we'll see what the future hold for me.
Post Edited (olivia of course) : 8/18/2008 10:43:25 PM (GMT-6)
I've contemplated the diagnoses of Bipolar, as has my therapist. Sometimes my psychiatrist thinks so - but he leans more towards OCD, ADHD and Depression. He did finally rx Lamictal, however, when antidepressants and ADHD meds couldn't get all my stuff under control. This is what I experience that sounds like hypomania, or some kind of mania:
Rapid, rapid thoughts; rapid speech too; tons of ideas and creativity; I start too many things that no one could possibly finish, and certainly not me with my limited ability to stay on task for minutes, or much less months.
A couple of times I've felt very connected to the universe and can relate to what Iconclastic said about having "religious experiences." Everything that happens will seem to be part of a larger plan - I'll feel "called" to do this, and do that. During such times I meet people all the time, anywhere, and I think I've found my new best friend, or the best person, or the most interesting person, etc. And then I'll think I have no friends, that the world is a very scary, hard place, etc.
I shop too much. Don't have credit cards any more, but am still paying off debt from over 5 yrs ago. Like garage sales and thrift stores, which I guess is good, but I often buy things just b/c they seem like a good idea - whether or not I like or need them. Even w/ groceries, I've noticed, I'll buy multiples of items, especially if on sale, and then dont' always have room to store them. I often don't remember that I have something at home and end up buying it.
I guess it's adrenalyn ? But I crave buying something far too often. And then I get disgusted with such consumerism. ?
35 y/o female
When I get kicked into a mania mode I feel that I have lots of energy and I start many things that I need to do at one time but I am very productive with each task and organize things perfectly and manage to get everything done. I clean and organize my house almost compulsive like. I need hardly any sleep at all.
I also get racing thoughts and talk a mile a minute. I feel so carefree with no stress and sometimes make a complete fool of myself. My hubby, children or friends just find me so silly and funny to be around. If my husband asked me to stand on my head and spin like a top I would actually try to do it and have tried that before when asked! You could dare me to do anything and I would do it.
I will verbalize every thought that goes through my head without even thinking first and later be so embarrassed about something that I had said or done. Plus I would easily be tempted to self medicate at these times so I really have to fight the temptation off hard. Oh and please…don’t let me out shopping during these times.
Sometimes I will just get VERY IRRITABLE. I would be best just totally left alone because if I have to socialize with anyone during those times I would be one big nagging b_ _ch! Every little thing would irritate me…something I heard on the radio, television, people at stores not to mention HUGE road rage!!!
I will get tremendous strength and could tear apart a house and throw things without even thinking twice!
I will verbalize every thought in my head no matter how rude or insensitive it would be.
I love all of the new Emoticons!