I recently started Risperdal (taking it at night instead of the Trazodone). It's been two weeks. I do have a question about this...Anyone experienced a lot of weight gain with it?
Depression creeped in yesterday. I hope I'm not in for a huge episode.
I've been up and down lately; some highs that were a bit intense. Haven't had that for awhile.
Things between me and my bf are really good though. I hope it continues this way. A couple weeks ago, I was thinking our only option was to end it all. I told him this more than once in some of our conversations. It was a very emotional time for both of us. I know it wasn't what he wanted, and deep down it wasn't what I wanted either. Basically I really thought it had to happen, but just couldn't bring myself to actually walk away. Since, we have been very close, and are back to talking about
the future together.
Work is going very well. The doctors are very happy with my work and the patients really like me too. I am proud of myself, really proud. Each day I think "WOW, if they only knew I was bipolar..." Of course they never will. My graduation is coming up in a couple weeks.
As far as how I'm feeling...I feel I live my day to day life not paying attention to my illness and what I need to be doing. I feel like I'm not taking good care of myself with it. Things get rough between my bf and I if the bp comes out a lot; and at work I definitely have to completely control it. Some days I wish I could just let it go and kinda let myself be sick. I'm not sure if that makes any sense or not. Last night I did tell my bf about the depression and that I wasn't feeling well. Maybe I'll try that approach a bit more. Some comfort would go a long way that's for sure. He has been pretty awesome so far. UGH...guess I'm just feeling a bit overwhelmed.
Anyway, you are all in my thoughts, many hugs.
Bipolar II, Anxiety/Panic Disorder
Clonazepam .5mg as needed, Risperdal .5mg/day & Lamictal 250 mg/day