First Appointment, New PDoc

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tyno3
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Date Joined May 2008
Total Posts : 1081
   Posted 9/17/2008 11:47 AM (GMT -7)   
In two days I see a new pdoc. I waited about twenty months to get an appointment. I wasn't able to see the pdoc who had treated me for about 17 years since 2003, when he closed his practice. I was flying by the seat of my pants, literally, since 2003, until three weeks ago when I was seen at a Crisis Centre, in Crisis. I was diagnosed BiPolar II twenty or more years ago and have been on SSRI's like Paxil (cried non-stop, felt there was a screen between me and the world), and Sertilene which worked really well until it just stopped working in 2004. It was as if I was taking a placebo. Then Lexapro, didn't do anything. Noticed I was beginning to Rapid cycle around 2005. Now, please hear this, when I say "rapid cycling," I don't mean I get a manic high (that migt be fun until I crashed), but rather I go from deep intractable depression where I wake up feeling awful in the morning (Elephant sitting on my chest, awful), don't want to face the day at all, awful, and then when I push through this, I have responsibilities, after all, otherwise I wouldn't bother getting up, to irritable, nasty, miserable, anxiety ridden, grumpy, can't stand anybody, or anything, just leave me alone in my miserable skin, irritable. So, what should I ask about? I also have fibromyalgia, hypothyroid, and my liver won't stand up to the onslaught of near toxic doses of lithium, or Valporic acid. I experienced the Stephen Johnson syndrome, (weird rash) while briefly on Lamictal. Currently I take 100mg. of amyltrptilene at bedtime for Fibro, it helps a bit with sleep, but I still wake up 2, 3 times ea. night. I have had clonazapan around (GP) for help with the anxiety of daily living and to keep me asleep. It sometimes works. So, how to approach this opportunity to see a new pdoc, I've waited so long to see someone, just the idea of going is making me really anxious. Thank-you.

serafena
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 3715
   Posted 9/17/2008 6:21 PM (GMT -7)   
Well, I think you've already got the right idea because you're trying to organize your thoughts ahead of time. I try to take notes when I'm going to see my doc and I've got something particular I want to ask about it, because I know I'll forget in the heat of the moment.

You know he/she's going to ask about your history, so you might want to make some brief notes about the time line of your disorder and the medications you've been on, sort of like you did here.

Are you rapid cycling now? If not, which phase are you more in now? Which do you feel you need more urgent treatment for? What issues are interfering with your daily life and making you miserable? Those issues are the ones I'd ask about and get treatment for first.

serafena
Serafena
Co-Moderator, Bipolar Forum
Bipolar II


CapninHapnin
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 285
   Posted 9/17/2008 9:53 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Tyno

I can kind of relate. I am going to see a new pdoc on the 29th. He is very highly regarded, which is one reason it is so hard to get in. I guess that is one upside of my current situation. I was court ordered to have an evaluation done and this pdoc was the one that got me. I have high hopes he can help.

Good luck with your appt as well

John
I want "I wish I had one more day to spend at the office" on my tombstone.

I used to be crazy, but now I have enough money to be called eccentric.


tyno3
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2008
Total Posts : 1081
   Posted 9/18/2008 10:53 AM (GMT -7)   
Thank-you. the suggestion about taking a timeline and the thing that is making me most miserable, right now is very helpful. I will do that. What makes me most miserable is the hypomanic state where I feel like I'm boiling in my own skin, nasty, irritable, grumpy, horribly anxious. Little things really bother me. As far as the depression, I do not want to wake up and face the day. I am experiencing these mood shifts 3-5 times every day. Usually there is one space I get in, it doesn't last very long, it is a more upbeat mood where I can talk and carry on as if I've had a couple of drinks (I don't drink). That gregarious, outgoing funny me. I wish I could be that more often. However, it is also dangerous cause I get reckless, drive faster, talk a streak, am easily distracted and can bottom out and be in tears at the slightest provocation. Then I just want out of my body. Wanting out is a big problem. I keep fantasizing, what if Ï just got in the car and drove away. This won't work, last time I did it I was homeless for quite some time. So, thank-you for the help and support. Thank-you also, turn John and good luck right back at ya.

tyno3
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2008
Total Posts : 1081
   Posted 9/20/2008 3:23 AM (GMT -7)   
Just me, again; Well, I did see the new pdoc, yesterday, but, apparently they had been trying to contact me to cancel as something else came up. They were't able to reach me as I'd moved since I was seen in Crisis, so they decided to move my appointment to a later time and when I finally saw him, he said it had to be short. Since I've been waiting 18 months to see a pdoc, this was rough. Anyway, I needed paperwork signed in order to qualify for assistance with my rent so I had to put that front and centre, otherwise I wouldn't have help to pay for new place, (old place was awful, wet, mouldy, etc.) Only problem was new pdoc didn't have time to hear me out and I almost felt like a bit of a freeloader asking for his support in getting help with the rent when he knew so little about me. It all felt really weird. Anyway, I suppose, having to bare your soul to a complete stranger is going to feel weird, no matter what.  hey, Capnin Hapnin, what was your experience like with the new doc? We're flying with just the old SSRI, for now. I will get to see him in 3 weeks. By then I'll know if there's anything else that we can do. I heard someone on this forum say they got a lot of energy from Zoloft. Hope I don't jump over the moon. turn

serafena
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 3715
   Posted 9/20/2008 6:49 AM (GMT -7)   
Oh what a disappointment. I'm glad he signed your paperwork though. Hang in there, 3 weeks isn't so bad.

serafena
Serafena
Co-Moderator, Bipolar Forum
Bipolar II


olivia of course
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 1523
   Posted 9/20/2008 10:35 AM (GMT -7)   
tyno,

I am sorry for your short appointment, hopefully the next one will be longer. Hand in there in the meantime, and don't hesitate to post here or call the Crisis hotline as needed. (((hugs)))

Olivia
Olivia
Bipolar Co-Moderator


Only by seeking challenges can we hope to find the best in ourselves. ~Robert Rodriguez

Don't let your yesterday ruin your today.


tyno3
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2008
Total Posts : 1081
   Posted 9/22/2008 4:02 PM (GMT -7)   
Hey all: I just wanted to say I've taken the Zoloft for two days now and I can actually feel a difference. The elephant has moved off of my chest and stays hidden in the closet, only coming out when my crazy family drags me into their tiresome Drama(s). Sooooo, I hope it keeps up. I always noticed this phenomena with Zoloft, it seems to kick in really fast for me. Then as time goes on, well never mind, I'll jinx myself. Maybe this time it will work and keep on working. This new pdoc thinks a larger dose than I had ever taken previously will do the trick. I will gradually titrate uo to 100mgs. over a four week period, 25 mgs. at a time. Soooo, I hope this is it. But, I have to be careful b/c this doc doesn't seem to believe in Fibromyalgia, and this is a big problem for me. Right now I'm getting adequate relief. If I lose some of my fibro meds, I cn end up in a bad spot. Thanks, all.
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