Welcome to HealingWell and to the bipolar board.
I can't say whether you're crazy, but I definitely believe you deserve better treatment, whether it comes from your husband or somewhere else. Lots of women (and men) stay in abusive relationships for too long because they love their spouses despite the abuse. But no one deserves to be abused. You need to seek some help for yourself to help you figure out why you are really putting up with the abuse and whether you want to keep doing it. Therapy can help you do that and will help you come up with ways to proceed.
Your husband needs medical attention for his bipolar. Bipolar usually needs to be medically managed for a person to stay stable. He needs to see a psych to have an evaluation done. If zyprexa wasn't the right drug for him (and truly most of us don't get the right drug the first try -- most of us need to try a few before we find one that works) then he should've gone back to the doctor and gotten another one. Urge him (if he'll listen to you) to go back to the doctor.
hope this is helpful,
By the way,
please don't type in all caps -- it denotes yelling and is hard to read. Thanks.
Co-Moderator, Bipolar Forum