Living with a bipolar husband for 8 years

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Twice failed
New Member


Date Joined Sep 2008
Total Posts : 1
   Posted 9/24/2008 8:36 PM (GMT -7)   
HELLO, I HAVE BEEN MARRIED TO MY HUSBAND FOR 7 YEARS BUT WE WERE TOGETHER A YEAR BEFORE.  HE WAS DIAGNOSED WITH BIPOLAR about 3 YEARS AGO.  HE TOOK ZYPREXA FOR about 6 MONTHS AND ABRUPTLY STOPPED BECAUSE HE GAINED A LOT OF WEIGHT.  IT HAS BEEN A LIVING HELL EVEN BEFORE THE MEDS STARTED.  HE STARTED VERBALLY ABUSING ME EXACTLY ONE MONTH AFTER WE MARRIED.  I USED TO THINK I WAS THE ONE WITH THE PROBLEM BY THE WAY HE TALKED AND TREATED ME.  I WON'T GO INTO ALL THE DETAILS I'M SURE A LOT OF YOU DEALING WITH SOMEONE ALREADY KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING about.  BUT THE REASON FOR SIGNING UP ON THIS WEBSITE IS TO TRY AND MAINTAIN MY SANITY WHICH I THINK I AM SLOWLY LOSING.  MY HUSBAND AND I DON'T LIVE TOGETHER BECAUSE HE WALKED OUT ON ME IN JAN BUT WE MANAGED TO STAY SOMEWHAT FRIENDS.  I WOULD STAY AT HIS PLACE AT TIMES AND THINGS SEEMED TO BE OK, BUT AFTER TIME THE EPISODES JUST GOT WORSE.  HE WOULD BE SITTING ON THE COUCH AND JUST JUMP UP CUSSING AND TALKING TO HIMSELF, IT WAS SCARY.  I ALWAYS FELT LIKE I WAS WALKING ON EGG SHELLS AROUND HIM.  HE WOULD START ARGUMENTS JUST BECAUSE.  HE WENT OUT OF TOWN FOR 2 WKS AND WENT OFF ON ME BECAUSE I WAS 5 MINS LATE PICKING HIM UP.  TODAY HE TOLD ME HE WAS TIRED AND IT'S OBVIOUS I HAVE SOMEONE ELSE SO HE WANTS TO FIND SOMEBODY ELSE TO MAKE MISERABLE.  ALTHOUGH I AM SOMEWHAT RELIEVED, DEEP DOWN MY HEART IS BROKE AND I DON'T KNOW WHY.  THIS MAN BROKE ME DOWN TO MY VERY CORE AND I FEEL AS THOUGH I HAVE DIED.  AM I THAT CRAZY TO STILL WANT TO BE WITH THIS MAN????????? 

serafena
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 3715
   Posted 9/25/2008 8:19 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Twicefailed,

Welcome to HealingWell and to the bipolar board.

I can't say whether you're crazy, but I definitely believe you deserve better treatment, whether it comes from your husband or somewhere else. Lots of women (and men) stay in abusive relationships for too long because they love their spouses despite the abuse. But no one deserves to be abused. You need to seek some help for yourself to help you figure out why you are really putting up with the abuse and whether you want to keep doing it. Therapy can help you do that and will help you come up with ways to proceed.

Your husband needs medical attention for his bipolar. Bipolar usually needs to be medically managed for a person to stay stable. He needs to see a psych to have an evaluation done. If zyprexa wasn't the right drug for him (and truly most of us don't get the right drug the first try -- most of us need to try a few before we find one that works) then he should've gone back to the doctor and gotten another one. Urge him (if he'll listen to you) to go back to the doctor.

hope this is helpful,
serafena

By the way,

please don't type in all caps -- it denotes yelling and is hard to read. Thanks.
Serafena
Co-Moderator, Bipolar Forum
Bipolar II

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