Ex, BiPolar Boyfriend, BiPolar Wives

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tyno3
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2008
Total Posts : 1081
   Posted 9/29/2008 3:36 PM (GMT -7)   
I hate to be a party crasher, but I log on to this forum to get help with my BiPolar Illness. It seems lately, this forum is more about Bipolar sposes, girlfriends, boyfriends etc. Couldn't there be a separate forum for spouses, and partners. If I needed relationship counselling, I'd go to a therapist. Sorry folks, that's how I feel.

serafena
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 3715
   Posted 9/29/2008 5:22 PM (GMT -7)   
tyno,

I understand how you feel. We have definitely had a long run of partners lately. They have to be as welcome here as you or I though. I think there would be a much better balance if the bipolar folks weren't so quiet. Especially because I think it's really important for the partners to see that most of us are coping with our illness the best that we can and not acting like complete maniacs (snort!) most of the time.

But I don't mean just responding to the partner posts, I mean starting new threads and responding to other bipolars. We've got to construct a better community here, and I'm really trying, but I'm not sure what I'm not doing right. And I'm very open to suggestions.

Thanks so much for speaking up.
serafena
Serafena
Co-Moderator, Bipolar Forum
Bipolar II


tyno3
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2008
Total Posts : 1081
   Posted 9/30/2008 5:18 AM (GMT -7)   
Thank you Sarafena. I guess spouses are affected by BiPolar disease as much as we with the Dx. cry I'm not sure either how to engage the primary partners. I was married once, still am, but separated, couldn't catch the fellow to serve Divorce papers. I remember one particularly nasty fight during which he threw my illness up in my face saying all the problems in our marriage were my fault. (not even mentioning that he would get his pay check on Friday and come home at two, three AM saying he had no money because his company couldn't afford to pay it's workers that week). We had two babies at home. Soooooo, maybe I'm a little cynical when it comes to relationships. 

loving frustrated wife
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jun 2007
Total Posts : 865
   Posted 9/30/2008 6:29 PM (GMT -7)   
Tyno3, I am sorry for what you described as the issues of your relationship, your BP or not, HIS conduct sounds unacceptable - let alone when children are involved. I know I am a spouse, but I am very open to hear your feelings, and offer support when I feel I might have something of value I could share. It is interesting that as I grow more and more with my experiences, the more I see how I too am in some ways contributing with my own issues. I recognize that unintentionally, I start out sometimes already defensive before he ever does anything just because I am expecting to be placed in that position. Inadvertently, it could trigger it, and end up being the reason it turns into something. I am not saying that is all the time, but there are moments it is. It may also be a true statement for other spouses too, but I can't speak for them. And certainly not all the issues my H and I experience is because of his BP. They are just "our issues". But it is when the BP exacerbates that, for me, the spouse, it becomes unbearable. Understand, I think it is no more pleasant on his side during it either, as I think it must feel miserable on the inside to see yourself struggle and try so hard, and still act out beyond your control. Anyway, just know whether we are BP or not, we are here for you too! LFW

serafena
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 3715
   Posted 10/2/2008 8:17 AM (GMT -7)   
Tyno, I find your thread to be a perfect example of what I'm talking about. 64 people have looked at this thread so far, and only 2 have commented on it. Certainly more people have opinions than that?
Serafena
Co-Moderator, Bipolar Forum
Bipolar II


mandy32
New Member


Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 2
   Posted 10/2/2008 5:02 PM (GMT -7)   
can anyone give me some signs of thier partner when you first found out they were bipolor
thank you. I think my husband is

Diskus
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 110
   Posted 10/3/2008 3:20 AM (GMT -7)   
Back to the forum issues...the BPSO site has been fairly inactive for a few years. The article links still work, but the newsletter is inactive and I don't think there's a forum there. Is there another section on healing well devoted exclusively to significant others or caretakers of loved ones suffering from chronic illness?

I can understand your frustration, Tyno. A lot of spouses find this forum amidst a crisis and reach out to anyone who has experience dealing with the illness to feel like they're not alone (including myself). Are the weekly chats active?

serafena
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 3715
   Posted 10/3/2008 7:38 AM (GMT -7)   
The biweekly chats are active. Spouses are absolutely welcome here. There is not a section on healing well devoted to sig others or caretakers -- you are just where you should be. As I was saying -- there should be a greater balance than there is. If you'd like a weekly chat just for spouses, that could be arranged.

serafena
Serafena
Co-Moderator, Bipolar Forum
Bipolar II


sukay
Veteran Member


Date Joined Feb 2003
Total Posts : 1432
   Posted 10/3/2008 10:53 PM (GMT -7)   

I think we all learn from each other and that is why I like to read all the posts. Being bipolar though a lot of the time I am in a different mood depending on my day. I can't post when I'm irritable and I can't post when I am being too silly in fear of offending someone. But I do read and try to get back to them when I am having better days.

I think reading both sides of the coins helps us all to get clearer pictures of "what and how" we are dealing with things in our lives and from that we learn.

The bi-weekly chats are always avaliable but hardly anyone shows up to these. It would be more supportive if more could join in.

blush
~sukay~
 Bipolar - August 2004
     Crohns disease - 1995 
Arthritis & Fibromyalgia 
 
Leo Buscaglia

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