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rimanquez42
New Member


Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 18
   Posted 10/25/2008 12:25 PM (GMT -7)   
I'm looking for some help on coping with my current situation.

I have BP with rapid cycling but function well.

My DW has BP, agoraphobia, social anxiety, OCD, and night terrors.

Due to her greater problems, I pick up the majority of the workload (job, kids, cleaning, cooking, etc) and I am starting to feel like a slave. I feel like my BP disorder does not really matter and I need to just push thru my problems with little or no complaint. I end up being angry most of the time because I feel like I really don't matter at all. I cannot talk to my DW about anything "real" without putting her in a panic. I'm seeing a therapist and hope that it helps, but really I feel like my feelings are not something I am entitled to have. I have no friends outside my much younger brother and only work... I have no time for myself after I've done my best to take care of everything. I've been a pesimist for a while, but could always believe that things would get better some day. I don't think that anymore.

serafena
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 3715
   Posted 10/25/2008 12:57 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Rimanquez42,

Welcome to HealingWell and to the board. I'm sorry to hear about your situation. It sounds very tricky and you are in a sticky situation. What is your wife's support system like?

It is time for you to make your own feelings known and let her have her reaction. If it causes a panic attack, so be it -- I'm sure she has anxiety meds. She still has to be in charge of her own reactions to things. She cannot live in a bubble. None of us can. But I'm sure you can talk to her in a gentle loving way and a very specific way. Tell her something very specific you'd like her to do. Don't just complain -- that will just make her feel guilty and sad. Tell her you're feeling like you're working too hard and need some help and you need her to help with something around the house -- something specific. If she can do one thing, maybe that will show you she loves you enough to try and participate, and that you aren't carrying the load entirely alone.

Finally, I imagine money is tight, but any chance you could hire in some help? A cleaning service once every two weeks, maybe? Something to lighten the load?

Hope this is helpful. If nothing else, it's good to have you and if you want to vent about your BP here, vent away. That's what we're here for.

serafena
Serafena
Co-Moderator, Bipolar Forum
Bipolar II

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