Hi Whitney! i couldn't help getting emotional reading your post.You are very lucky to have an Aunt who loves you so much.You sound like a wonderful caring kid with a heart that is too big sometimes.....you remind me of me when i was younger dealing with my husband.I have been married to a man who i love dearly,but unfortunately is severely bi polar.He takes Seroquel for his manic episodes(rage like your mom)and also Lithium.
We have a 12 yr. old daughter who really gets pissed off alot at her Dad.He can really be out of control with his mood swings and his blaming of others.Especially her and me.It is unbearable to say the least.
I heard you ask the question "how do you get someone out of their denial"?pretty tough one.But only from experience i can say is to implement Tough Love,and it is not easy at all!
you need to break all ties with your mom(so painful i know)and your Aunt does too.Maybe if she lives her life completely alone because of her behavior,she will get so desperate that she might just reach out for help to get her family back that loves her so much.
I have put my husband out of the house(it was quite scary)he freaked,destroyed alot of things in the home,the police were called(it broke my heart)but my daughter's safety is of the utmost priority.After him being away for now 5 months,he has put himself in intensive counseling.3x's a week.He is also an alcoholic/addict.I feel because of him being put in a position of total lonliness and losing the 2 people that love him the most,he got to his breaking point of the pain he feels.He put himself in a mental facility,they adjusted his meds,and he is doing very well.
We talk everyday and visit him 2x's a week now and if everything works out behaviorally,he will come back home for Christmas.I am very proud of the work he has done on himself,but he is not out of the woods yet.If you decide not to tolerate intolerable behavior then your loved one has a choice.Stay sick and be alone,or get courage and fight to get well.It is a risk many families like ours and yours take,but it is a worthy and extremely important one.It is up to them to get the help that they need.Nothing that you have ever done is the cause of anything your mom chooses to do.It is her disease.
They are emmy award actors in making people feel guilty and being the blame of things.She is to blame for all the chaos,not you....EVER.Please try and remember that for yourself.They are the best manipulators!God bless you,your Aunt,and most of all,your Mom.I hope she digs her way out of this disease and gets a hold on her life.For you Whitney,i pray for your strength,wisdom,and unconditional love.People can only hurt you if you allow them to.Don't let her anymore.Hope i did not overstep my boundaries into your personal pain,it's just that i have experienced the same in the past.I started to fight for myself and my daughter.You will be fine.Hang in there and best of luck to you! you are in my thoughts and prayers.