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TeddyLover
New Member


Date Joined Nov 2008
Total Posts : 10
   Posted 11/1/2008 12:29 AM (GMT -7)   
Hello, lately I've noticed that I get irritated easily, and that I'm very forgetful. I'm a teenager and live at home and sometimes if my mom or dad tell me to do something, even if they don't, I get very irritated/angry and yell something like "Leave me alone!" or "Your to noisy!" "Just go away!" and this even happens if I just walk pass them or they are sitting at the table and ask me a question. I can't really help it, it just comes out of my mouth, and then they get mad at me and make it even worse. lol, now onto the forgetfulness. I forget small simple words, like interesting! And it happens daily. I could be telling my sister "Oh, that book is very, very, umm, darn it I can't remember the word!! DX" then maybe a little while later I'll be like "Oh I remember! It was Interesting!" It even happens when I'm told to get or put away something, My mom could tell me to get her the toilet paper and I'll be off to get it then I either get distracted and forget or I walk into a room and totally forget what I was doing. :( I get into lots of trouble because of that. I'm also unmotivated to do things sometimes. I'm kind of embarrassed to say this, but I even become unmotivated to take a bath! DX I'd be totally fine, I walk in the bathroom, then it's like, "I really don't want to anymore." Same thing with cleaning my room, or just plain cleaning. Sometimes I just get so emotional about not wanting to that I cry! But when I'm at my sisters house I always want to clean! I even ask her if she wants me to clean all the bathrooms, and I hate doing that at my house. If I do clean at my house it takes forever. I don't want to tell my mom about this because she thinks that I'm a hypo about illnesses(which I'm not!) like my other older sister, and would probably tell me I'm overreacting and not listen. I really don't know what's wrong with me! Oh, and if it's important to know, I'm home-schooled because of back problems. Please tell me what you think is wrong with me. :)

tyno3
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2008
Total Posts : 1081
   Posted 11/1/2008 3:24 AM (GMT -7)   

Hi there Teddy: It sounds like you have a good relationship with your sister. If you are not comfortable talking with yourMom, maybe you would feel more comfortable talking with your sister. If you could just ask her if she could spare an hour or so, of her time, you would appreciate it because you have something you need to talk privately about. Then maybe you could go out for a a hot chocolate or something and you could talk privately.

We are here to support you with the benefit of our own experiences, but we can't tell you whether or not you are BiPolar. In most cities and even towns there are usually also Help Lines, like the National Kid's Help Line, that have people trained to help you sort through your feelings and maybe even recommend a Community Mental Health Center where you can talk to a counsellor. The counsellors then talk to a Psychiatrist, who may want to make an appointment to evaluate you. Your sister could perhaps assist you with getting in touch with a Mental Health Community Centre. Please do these things. It is important that you have someone to talk to, also very important that you get assessed by a Professional Mental Health worker. Are you a member of a church, or are your parents? You can also talk to a Pastor or Minister, or whatever, based on your religious affiliation. Also, through the school system there are guidance Counsellors and sometimes Peer Counsellors. It's very important to talk to someone who can help you get a Mental Health assessment. I have two sons just a little older than you. While they were growing up I was awfully busy working and trying to keep our house clean and now that they are out on their own working, (ages 21, and 23) they are my world, I only wish I could have taken more time just to sit and listen to them, but somehow I got caught up in the business of the world, running here and there, doing this and that, not realising that the most important people were the boys at home wishing I would take more time and just listen to them. I bet it's the same with your folks. It's easy to lose sight of one's priorities in today's world. Come back and talk to us, anytime you feel like it.


sablelulu
New Member


Date Joined Oct 2007
Total Posts : 6
   Posted 11/1/2008 5:34 AM (GMT -7)   
HI teddy ,my name is sablelulu.Tyno3 is exactly right. You already feel like ""something" is wrong,and you may be right. So act on it. YOu want to talk an i cannot stress enough ,there are qualified professionals out there to talk too.
At the same time, i cannot stress how important ,at your age, how your attitude will effect everything, If you don't feel good being angry,feeling rage -change it . when mom says clean the room, EVEN if you don't just -say sure mom and drop it. YOU will feel better telling yourself to feel better .I know having a sister is wonderful. Heres what my sister an i would do::EVERY mornig you and her write down "ten" things you are grateful for .YOU do this first thing in the mornig an maybe your outlook for the day will be under a better attitude . AND definitly find someone to talk to .You may even talk to your famiy doctor first and she can direct you in the right area
I am someone that had been Bi-polar since 1982.had open-heart in 1967 ,that blood transfusinon was bad soo i have had chemo treatments now for 2 yrs , That stopped in Apr 2007. Two days ago a MRI says i have MS ,
TRUST me ,you do not want to be ill. Despite all this , i am soo blessed an grateful. just waking up is a grateful .
I am grateful we met an i only pray ,you find no illnesses only heathy an a happy life ahead of you .You have a good head on your shoulders
Direct all this into something or someone you enjoy doing
My church has been a safe haven for me an can be for you too.
God Bless an good luck to you Teddy ..sablelulu
sablelulu


tyno3
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2008
Total Posts : 1081
   Posted 11/1/2008 5:42 PM (GMT -7)   
Teddy, write us back and tell how you're doing. Thank-you

TeddyLover
New Member


Date Joined Nov 2008
Total Posts : 10
   Posted 11/1/2008 6:12 PM (GMT -7)   
Sorry for the late reply, I currently have a cold. XD Well just a while ago I got irritated again at my dad who crossed me the wrong way I guess. Is it normal that when you are irritated like that that you just want to punch or just scream at something? I usually just start to yell back, but I get in trouble. :( When this happens I just breath deep breaths. Is that good? I'm sorry if I'm asking to many questions, I'm just confused. I don't feel hatred toward my self, maybe I have just once but not to much to inflict damage to myself. Oh, and I don't know if this matters but, sometimes when I'm out in public like in a store, I seem to cling to my mom. I don't like to cling cause it annoys her but it just happens. There are times when I'll go by myself but I'll think that everyone is looking at me, or I'll start to think someones following me. When I'm at home by myself I sometimes get scared of the littlest things like hearing the wind from the fire place, but when I'm in my room,(I call it my territory) I'm totally fine. And sometimes I just don't care about anything, if my parents are yelling at me or talking to me I just tune them out. Or if I'm angry/irritated I either yell or go outside to where my dog is and hug him till I calm down. He always seems concerned. :) Again, sorry for the questions. ^^;

TeddyLover
New Member


Date Joined Nov 2008
Total Posts : 10
   Posted 11/1/2008 6:30 PM (GMT -7)   
sablelulu, about the room cleaning bit, I tried that once but she always comes back and bangs on the door(I have it locked) telling me to do it or else, blah blah blah. And I get fustrated and thats sort of why I don't like to do it i guess. I'm not always angry, sometimes I can be really happy and just want to jump around and have fun! but there is no one to do that with since I'm home-schooled and don't really have any friends my age. :( I have a little sister but we don't really get along well. I have two dogs that I love, one which is hyper and one that is lazy. They are chihuahuas, my mom doesn't want them inside so they live outside. And I don't like the outdoors so I don't go out there much. Sometimes my mom will say, "They wouldn't survive if they relied on her." And it makes me feel terrible! Ugh, even as I type now, I'm crying. I think I'm in a sad mood. :( I'm sorry for venting to you. ^_^; I hate being the way I am now, I want to change into a better person but I don't know if I can.

serafena
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 3715
   Posted 11/1/2008 8:34 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi TeddyLover,

I'm sorry it's taken me all day to get a post to you. I'm serafena, one of the moderators on this board, and I just want to say Hi and Welcome to HealingWell and to the bipolar board. I think you've come to a good place where people can give you honest answers to your questions and where you can vent freely about the things that are frustrating you. We're all here for the same thing, so vent away and let us support you.

First of all, none of us here are doctors, and so we can't diagnose you as bipolar or not. You have some symptoms that sound possibly bipolar, but only a doctor can tell you for sure. I think tyno had a great idea when she suggested you find a trusted adult to talk to. By being homeschooled, you have far fewer to choose from, but you mentioned your sister. That's a great place to start. Also, as tyno suggested, a spiritual leader could help. Perhaps an aunt or an uncle? The idea is to explain to someone who will listen to you exactly what your feeling and ask them to help you talk to your mother about it. The goal is to get your mother to agree to a doctor visit for you so you can figure out exactly why you're feeling the way that you do.

I'm sorry you're feeling so unhappy and lost right now. I wish there were some way I could help.

Good luck and let us know how you're doing,
serafena
Serafena
Co-Moderator, Bipolar Forum
Bipolar II


tyno3
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2008
Total Posts : 1081
   Posted 11/2/2008 3:07 AM (GMT -7)   

Hey Teddy: There are a couple questions I have regarding an earlier post. Do you have an older sister, who lives in her own house? I kind of got the idea you did because you said "when I;m at my sister's place, I like to clean', or something along those lines. In your latest post you mentioned a younger sister. Do you have other siblings as well?

Being Home-Schooled is great from some points of view, not so great from others. For example, home schooled youths, like yourself don't have a social network, friends you can hang out with, talk to about problems, and all that. Home Schooling is often good from the point of view that sometimes the quality of instruction, as well as the content of the instruction, can be better because you're 1:1 with your instructor. Who, by the way, if you don't mind sharing this with us, is doing your homeschooling? If it's you're mom, well, that can be troublesome if you're having relationship difficulties with her as she is your Mom and your teacher. That's a lot of face time. Especially, when you're not getting along so well. A Family Counselor can often help in this type of situation. Let us know. Thank-you


TeddyLover
New Member


Date Joined Nov 2008
Total Posts : 10
   Posted 11/2/2008 3:29 AM (GMT -7)   
Yes, I have 4 other siblings. 3 which are older and out of the house and 1 that is 10. My older sis that I talked about lives the closest to us. I usually baby-sit her 3 yr old son(who I adore XD) and that is how I am at her house. Sometimes if she is off work she'll come and pick me up and we'll go to the mall. ^_^ I'm probably closer to my other older sister, but she lives far away and I don't see her often. She was really nice to me when I was younger, lol we didn't fight like normal sibs do. XD Then I have an older brother who is nice but I'm not really close to him cause we never lived together because he moved out of the house before I was born. And my younger sister is a little mean sometimes since she is the baby of the family, and doesn't get in trouble all that much.

Yes my mother is my teacher. It's not like we have problems, it's just that I think she has a little trouble expressing her feelings sometimes because of the way her mom treated her when she was a kid. But as for the schooling, I kind of just teach myself. I only recently started homeschooling because I have juvenile arthritis in my back, or something like that. I'm only 13, I started homeschooling in 7th grade(I'm in 8th). I don't think I would be able to bring the conversation of a family counselor up. :/ I know that if I did, I would get really stressed and paranoid. I think I get that from my mom cause she has Anxiety.

tyno3
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2008
Total Posts : 1081
   Posted 11/2/2008 4:01 AM (GMT -7)   

Thanks for the speedy reply, Teddy. That cleared things up. Do you know that chronic pain can make us depressed? If you have pain in your back that can certainly explain why you maybe snap back at people, get irritable and so on. I have chronic pain and i know it's partially responsible for some of my emotional instability.

If you maybe emailed the older sister, that lives further away, and she emails you back, sometimes, just that level of sharing how you're feeling, can help. I remember when I was a teenager, (quite some time ago, for sure), I made a promise to myself that I would never forget how it feels to be a teenager. Sooooooo, frustrating. Like , you're supposed to "be responsible, do the right thing,"and all that but then they give you limited decision making power over your own life. It's got to be the absolute, most frustrating time for lots of us. So, hang in there.


TeddyLover
New Member


Date Joined Nov 2008
Total Posts : 10
   Posted 11/2/2008 4:29 AM (GMT -7)   
hmm, Maybe that's a reason! Cause there are days when I'm sore and if someone gets on my bad side I get really irritated. XD My sister is in some financial diff. so she doesn't own a cell phone or a computer. :( And she has a 3yr old daughter who is basically a vegetable(she has problems) and has to take care of her all the time so we really don't have much communication except for holidays and B-days. sigh, yeah usually I get stressed because if I think a test or something happens my mind sometimes goes to worst case scenario.

sheba1964
Regular Member


Date Joined Nov 2008
Total Posts : 25
   Posted 11/2/2008 8:25 AM (GMT -7)   
Teddy,really cool that you have found tis place ,just so you can come & talk,& get honest knowledgable feedback-sounds like you don't have great support networks to people you can confide in,so really neat you are here,hope you are enjoying the communication.
Have you been able to get to your Doc,to discuss this situation..

TeddyLover
New Member


Date Joined Nov 2008
Total Posts : 10
   Posted 11/2/2008 8:37 AM (GMT -7)   
Sheba: thank-you. :) I haven't been to the doc yet, but I think I will soon because of my cold. XD If I end up going I will take the opportunity to talk to her about it. :) I am very grateful for the feedback ya'll have given me. It gives me a peace of mind. ^_^

serafena
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 3715
   Posted 11/2/2008 8:39 AM (GMT -7)   
Well Teddy,

I think its very possible that you suffer from the same Anxiety your mother does. I don't know that you have panic attacks, but you've described clinging to her in stores and feeling like everyone's looking at you. You find the idea of talking to her very nervewracking. You may use this as a way to talk to her. You could tell her how you're feeling and that you wonder if you're suffering from Anxiety too. Do you ever feel afraid you're having a heart attack or a brain tumor? Does it ever feel like you have a lump in your throat and you can't swallow. Do you ever feel so scared you can't take another step even though there's nothing really wrong? Ask her if you could see a doctor or counselor. I don't know what your family's insurance is like, but that's probably going to influence a lot of her decision.

serafena
Serafena
Co-Moderator, Bipolar Forum
Bipolar II


TeddyLover
New Member


Date Joined Nov 2008
Total Posts : 10
   Posted 11/2/2008 8:54 AM (GMT -7)   
Serafena: Sometimes if I hear a noise or if I'm by myself, I get this feeling in my chest. :/ I don't really know how to describe it. It's like feeling a rush of adrenalin 5x more, and my heart will start to race. And there are sometimes I wake up feeling like I can't breath or swallow, and I panic.

sheba1964
Regular Member


Date Joined Nov 2008
Total Posts : 25
   Posted 11/2/2008 1:48 PM (GMT -7)   
Teddy.cool dude,that you are in touch with all these feelings,but they are no fun aye.From my own experieence,I think your doctor will be able to help you a lot.Is it difficult to get to see her?Does it cost a lot of maoney where you are ,to visit your Doc-Please keep us posted on your progress dude.
We do care,as I'm sure your family do too..

TeddyLover
New Member


Date Joined Nov 2008
Total Posts : 10
   Posted 11/2/2008 7:55 PM (GMT -7)   
I don't really know if it's expensive but right now is probably not a good time to go cause my dad recently had surgery and has like 28 staples that have to come out sometime this week. So I'll probably be able to go after that. :) I think I'll be able to talk about it more easily because my mom will know how I feel. ^_^

sheba1964
Regular Member


Date Joined Nov 2008
Total Posts : 25
   Posted 11/2/2008 9:13 PM (GMT -7)   
Ok,well hang in there dude----try & do the things that work for you....exercise some each day,I found really good,but had to really push myself to do it,but afterwards I was really glad I did it.
I also found that a lot of my triggers were from a very negitive self -esteem,if this rings any bells ,look on interenet for some good reading on the subject-on line reading is cheap & ezy to access.-good luck...
Keep us posted dude.....updates are all good.

TeddyLover
New Member


Date Joined Nov 2008
Total Posts : 10
   Posted 11/2/2008 9:24 PM (GMT -7)   
Thank-you! Do you have any suggestions on what I should read? :3

sheba1964
Regular Member


Date Joined Nov 2008
Total Posts : 25
   Posted 11/3/2008 12:04 PM (GMT -7)   
Not really teddy-not specifically-but i suggest you google self esteem books,& browse,for starters,
If you can ever get to a libuary,look for self improvement manuals-eg-self esteem.try thast for starters,let us know what you find,& what you think about them-but tread gently,don't over-load.
Just a little each day,or as you are comfy with -ok.I look forward to hearing how you are doing with it-you are cool dude,always remember that,& if your thoughts try & tell you different,kick them out,they are lying,you are in charge of your self talk,always manage it to be positive ,rock on Teddy

TeddyLover
New Member


Date Joined Nov 2008
Total Posts : 10
   Posted 11/3/2008 12:17 PM (GMT -7)   
Thank-you Sheba, I will start looking! :] Actually I think I've made some improvement with all of ya'lls kind words! Yesterday I only got irritated a couple of times and when I did, I tried to think happy thoughts. What seemed to work for me was imagining the ocean with it's gentle waves crashing. ^-^ I was able to talk to my mom and she's scheduled a visit with the doctor as soon as my dad gets his staples taken out! I feel as though something has been accomplished, and I can't stop smiling! XD Thank you all so much!

serafena
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 3715
   Posted 11/3/2008 4:59 PM (GMT -7)   
Hooray TeddyLover! That's good news! You talked to your mother and got a doctor visit. That's all you can ask. Let's hope for the best.

You better keep us up to date on how it goes!

serafena
Serafena
Co-Moderator, Bipolar Forum
Bipolar II


sheba1964
Regular Member


Date Joined Nov 2008
Total Posts : 25
   Posted 11/4/2008 4:18 PM (GMT -7)   
Awesome stuff Teddy-every day is a new day-awesome to make progress mate....Keep up the very cool work you are doing for you....
Happy searching for the reading material-please keep us informed of all your highs & lows,it helps sometimes just to share,& know people do care-& we do buddy.
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